Spanko Brunch 2.0 #370

At this time last year, Valentine's Day was a time for love, dinner in a nice restaurant, shopping for new lingerie, perhaps a movie or theatre outing. What a difference a year makes. Our celebration will be a bit different from last year. How about you?

What are your plans for Valentine's Day? What will be different about them this year? Are spankings on the menu?

Please leave your response as a comment and I will publish an edited summary of our discussion once everyone has had a chance to speak.

Light at the end of the tunnel

 My good blogging friend morningstar wrote about having the February blues. I'm sorry she's having a hard time, but I just don't feel that way myself. I got up early to go grocery shopping yesterday, and when I went outside it was already light at 7:00 AM. Even thought it was very cold and I had to scrape the frost off the windshield before I could depart, some how it felt like Spring was near. I went to a different grocery store, and that lifted my spirits even more. Just the fun of exploring a new store was a treat.

Our lockdown will be lifted at the end of this week but Ron doesn't feel safe going to his barber for a haircut. The last time he went, he said the barber wasn't taking enough precautions. So I cut his hair again, with my trusty sewing scissors. I was much more confident this time, and the hair flew! Ron thanked me when I was done, but said he wasn't expecting a buzz cut. I guess I was a bit to energetic, but it will grow back.

Then there is the activity in our garden. We always have a lot of grey squirrels around, but rabbits have been enjoying the scenery too. There is a shovelled path from the patio to the composters, and I have seen piles of bunny poop on the path. What could the rabbits find to eat here? After a recent snowfall I traced bunny hops from the neighbour's yard to ours, around the patio and off to the neighbour on the other side. 

But I also saw tracks that were distinct footsteps in the snow, not hops. I thought of a raccoon, but their tails leave a drag mark in the snow. This was a fox. We have foxes in the area, and the lack of humans being out and about must have emboldened one. The next morning I saw more tracks, plus the signs of a scuffle in the vegetable bed. Upon close inspection I found a large pile of poop and three clumps of brown hair. The fox had caught a rabbit and had left his calling card before taking breakfast home to his den.

Our pond has a heater in it to keep the water from freezing so the goldfish can stay out all winter. It has been a daily gathering place for flocks of birds, and it's a joy to see them gather round, hop onto the ice, then take a quick bath in the open water. 

We also keep an eye on our neighbours' comings and goings. Ron loves to tell me when M has had another parcel delivery, or L is going out again I wonder where, or J still has his Christmas lights on. There's never a dull moment, even with the lockdown.

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for February 7

For those of you who watched the Superbowl last night, I hope the right team won for you. Ron's favourite team wasn't playing, but thought it was a very good game.

This week we reminisced about a spanking that gave you much more than you expected.

QBuzz: After we took delivery of our strap and tawse, and my girlfriend was able to use the 'Holy Tetralogy' (cane, strap, tawse, paddle) on me for the first time. It was the first time I felt truly 'complete' after a spanking, like I had been taken right to my limit.
I certainly accepted the results, and have done many times since :D

Roz: I can't quite recall a particular incident but there have been times I received more than I bargained on. I always used to love any after effects and did almost feel a sense of pride at what I had taken and at pleasing Rick also in doing so. There were also other occasions I didn't cope so well of course.

Barrel: I’m not sure I have ever been to the point where one of our sessions far exceeded my need or expectation, but I know I have been close. It was a birthday session with lots of warm up spankings with many implements, followed with being restrained over the end of the bed. I don’t remember how many strokes of which whip I got, but I distinctly recall the finale with our thin delrin cane. It must have been 20 or 25 strokes as hard as she could swing in rapid fire. When it was over, I recall being totally at peace and thoroughly content. I proudly wore the welts, weals and blisters from that cane for a couple of weeks. I even showed them to a friend who works at an adult store who’s has helped me over the year accept being a submissive and a bit more open with our lifestyle.

Hmmm...this has me thinking about asking for another one.

A.J.: I'm only a fun spanker/spankee, have never been caned or even had a bath-brush used on me, or by me.

But my MOST memorable was a switch session to fulfill a long-time fantasy: TWO women.

Both of these two BEAUTIFUL women put me otk and spanked me. Then, they spanked each other with me watching! And then I got to spank both of them. After that it was laughs and stories and just a hell-of-a great time.

As our time together came to a close, I asked if they would each take me otk again for a farewell spanking. Sure!

Then I asked that they make it a bit harder. Give me what I called the "bad-boyfriend" spanking and (Gulp...) you can use a paddle, brush or belt on me. Each of them to give me 50 hard spanks or swats.

By this time, and knowing me better and what I liked: "You sure? You really want that?"

I told them I wanted to at least try it, and I wanted something to remind me of our fun time together on my 4-hour drive home.

They did! I got PADDLED and BELTED!!! Not full-force by any means, but I sure felt it. I then asked if I should get another 50 each, just in case, and THEY SAID no, "You've have enough." They were probably right.

So how did I deal with the excess effects?

For all four+ hours of my drive back I felt the tingling and could think of nothing else but my time with them, and what fun it was. 10-hours later I go to bed, the aftereffects too-quickly wearing off, and I was still thinking fondly of them.

Does that count?

It sure does!

Bonnie: I haven't a specific example in mind, but I think an ideal spanking is one that goes just a bit beyond what I expect or desire in terms of duration or intensity. In such cases, there is a magical moment where I am forced to choose - Do I continue to struggle to maintain my composure amid a posterior onslaught or embrace the painful punishment that is my fate? Do I try to get him to stop? Do I try to escape? Do I just hang on and try to ride it out? While my husband is in control, I ultimately get to decide.

Afterward, I almost always feel satisfied with the results and grateful to Randy for taking me back to that special place. The good feeling generally outlasts the soreness. It keeps me feeling energized and upbeat.

Prefectdt: I like to be caned with bamboo rods but it takes me a long time to build up enough trust in someone to allow them to use bamboo on my rear end. The reason for this is that bamboo splits easily and can cut badly and so needs to be inspected after every single stroke. Some years ago now I knew a professional disciplinarian who was not only trustworthy but specialized in bamboo correction. After a short warm up with a strap, she caned me with bamboo for a little more than an hour. After it was over I could hardly walk. Not because of the many welts on by bottom and legs (there where a lot of those) but because she got me so high on my body's own chemicals that it was hard to get the messages from my brain to my legs to attain simple perambulation. I have never been so high before or since in my life. All of this was obtained with a high level of severity but not one break in my skin.

Rosco: There have been times when Irene has spanked (i.e. whipped or paddled) me very hardcore without any kind of warm up. I don’t think she understands that a cold bottom feels pain much more intensely that it does when warmed up. But usually if I thrash or cry out, she’ll let up a bit. I’ve never asked her to slow down or stop.

It’s been awhile but she used to get my far hipbone when whipping me. After seeing the scars and welts a few times she’s figured it out.

Sometimes, my bottom feels hot for days and it can be uncomfortable when I’m sitting. Not so much the next day but 2-3 days later.

The real injuries have been when she ties me up. It’s a turn on for me (and her), and I’ve not always realized when it’s straining my back, shoulder or neck.

Irene is pretty rough with my balls sometimes, but there have never been after effects.

Hermione: Several years ago I wrote about a spanking that really took my breath away. I can't think of a more recent one that's had quite the same effect. During most spankings, at the beginning I think I can't take it, but I always manage to stay in position and accept whatever Ron delivers.

Stay safe and wear your mask!

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #369

Do come in. You're just in time for another mind-expanding discussion. Two weeks ago we reminisced about spankings that had been disappointing. Now let's consider the reverse.

Recall a time when your desire or need for a spanking was far exceeded, perhaps beyond your comfort zone.  How did you deal with the excess effects?  We’re you able to come to grips with what your spanker delivered and ultimately accept, perhaps with pride, the results?

Please leave your response as a comment. You may remain anonymous if you wish. Once everyone has had a chance to respond, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.

The Reluctant Partner, part 2

Thank you for your comments on A.J.'s experience with a woman whose husband was reluctant to spank her. Now here's his tale of a man in the same position (excuse the pun!)

A married woman in Arizona I corresponded with years ago, finds out, as wives often do - her husband was having an affair.  It mentally paralyzed her.  Uncontrollable sorrow.  Endless tears.

But he wasn't having a sexual affair with another woman or a prostitute.  A couple times a year he wanted to be spanked, and since all his requests for her to do it came out TOTALLY AND FORCEFULLY, "NO!", he went out and found it somewhere else.  And got caught.

(It just reminded me of a line in the scandalous (and funny) book "The Happy Hooker" from decades back where the former call-girl advises women, "If you won't do it, there is another woman out there somewhere who will!")

Anyway, she was beyond distraught and he tried and tried to explain there was no sex, it was a spanking and nothing more.

She didn't believe him.  So he brought her into the bedroom, and reached deep back into a rarely used drawer of his and brought out a leather strap, one she had never seen, one you would look at and immediately know it had a purpose other than keeping your pants up!  And then he stripped off everything below the waist, handed her the strap, and lay across the bed.

And she took that strap from him and let fly in a fury. Strike after strike, letting all her emotions get taken out on him.  And then she noticed he was arching his butt up to receive the strap.  He wasn't complaining.  And then she (kinda) understood.

But from there, as in all things - they talked, and talked, and talked - and then she was fine with it.  Didn't understand it, but could at least handle it.  A few times a year he wanted to get the belt.  How often? 3-4 times A YEAR.  Maybe take all of 15-20 minutes each time?  So who can't find 30 to 60-minutes over the course of a year?  No one.

So life became good again.  For both of them.

Now the sad part.  A couple years later he was diagnosed with leukemia; two more years he was dead. And she told me her biggest regret was the lost years she had with him where she could have been more accommodating to him and wasn't. She felt terrible.  She blamed herself.  She got over it by trying to help other couples understand.

A very moving story. Thank you for sharing this, A.J.

The Reluctant Partner, part 1

Asking for a spanking for the first time isn't always easy, especially if your partner is reluctant. My good friend and contributor A.J. saw my response to a recent brunch and sent me two stories about spankos with vanilla partners. The first one is about a woman and her reluctant husband, and I can relate to that. Here's what A.J. wrote:

You responded to the last brunch question with:

"I told my husband all about my interest in spanking and asked him to spank me. He obliged, but told me I was sick and perverted. After our divorce..."

That caught my eye!   

It was back in the 1990's and I was thinking about spanking and finding a woman who would like to be on either side of the lap for some OTK fun time.  To keep this short, I found one - in far off California.  I came back to San Diego sometime later and we got together at my hotel.  She walks into the lobby - and she is STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL!

But it is early, there is no rush, so - "How about breakfast and we can talk?"  Sure.

During breakfast she tells me she, like you, was on her second marriage because, while she wanted to be spanked by husband #1, he was reluctant.  VERY reluctant.  To the point he also was calling her perverted.  Sound familiar?

So he found a marriage counselor.  Who was a fundamentalist "Christian" minister.  Who piled on her even more.

Disgusted, she walked out hurt and angry and found another marriage counselor; this time, one recommended by professionals, one who had real credentials and none of the religious baggage.

They meet the new counselor.  Her husband lays out his side about the spanking and how sick and perverted it was etc; she tells the counselor,  "Hey!  I just like to be spanked every once in a while!"

The counselor:  "That's it?  You just like being spanked...?

Yes.

He turns to him and tells him to take her home, put her OTK, and spank her!!!  "That's simple and easy to do!"  Then goes on about other people with serious marriage/family problems and - THIS isn't one of them.  Because consensual spanking is common.  Be more responsible and accommodating. The session ended early.

He took her home and spanked her.  But in the end, HE could not shake the idea of spanking coupled with "perversion".  Ultimately, they divorced.  She married again to someone more accepting of giving her the occasional spanking.

I have seen this same story on your blog and other spanking sites where one of the partners just can't understand that a consensual spanking is all right; whether it is him spanking her or, to me, more surprising, that while she likes being spanked - will refuse to spank him - even when he asks for it!  ("It just doesn't feel right...I couldn't do that...I could never do that, this his job," etc.)

And I don't get it.  You are willing to risk your marriage over something as silly as this?

Yes, I guess some people are. Stay tuned for part two, which features a spanko husband and his reluctant wife.

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for January 31

What have you always wanted to say to your spanking partner?

Bonnie: You stumped me this time. I can't imagine what spanking-related thought I could share with Randy that we haven't already explored in triplicate.

Wendel: Same here. We talk about everything spanking related that comes to mind. 

Roz: Me too Hermione,I can't think of anything I haven't shared.

Barrel: As others have said, there isn’t anything we have not shared. And the more we have communicated, the spankings have improved for both of us. 

Ronnie: Can't think of anything spanking related that I haven't shared with P.

A.J.: I think once you get past "I want to spank you/I want you to spank me," phase - and they agree - there isn't much left. If anything. How can you be shy about anything after that?

Just like everyone above T and I have shared all our thoughts, desires and fantasies. There really is nothing we can't talk about. 

Hermione: Oh dear. I guess I'm the odd one out this time. I wish I could tell Ron to speak the phrases that press all my buttons. You know the ones, like "You're a naughty girl and you need a good spanking". But he's not a talker and he just wouldn't feel comfortable saying things like that.

I'll try to come up with a more popular topic next time!