Monday, November 3, 2014

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for November 2

This week's topic dealt with telling a new person in your life about your interest in spanking.

Dan: I would wait until the relationship is a little established. Even if someone might not be interested if the issue is sprung on them early, they may be willing to try for someone they are comfortable with.

Baxter: It was well into our marriage, which this year is 31 years. Probably I brought it up early and was turned down as being a pervert. But 0 or so years ago, she understood after reading a Fiona Locke book of spanking novels. I had to ask her for a spanking and she gave it. It now is becoming more of her telling me to bend over. Just as I want it.

Alex: While I know lots of couples who were able to introduce the idea of spanking into a relationship after it was already formed with great success, I honestly think that if you're looking to find a new relationship and spanking is important to you, it might make sense to date in the spanking community intentionally. I know lots of people who have met on sites likes and it's worked out really well for them. It can be tricky to find someone who is both compatible with you as a person and a spanko, but I think that starting with the common spanking interest can be the better way to go!

Arched one: Our spanking started later in our marriage. It started with me giving her light pats during sex, then one night she told me to roll over and spanked me. After it was over she said you liked that didn't you. I told her yes and later we checked a few spanking sites and she has been spanking me since.

D: As early as possible; decide if your future partner can live with an often red and smarting bottom, and before her trial spanking whether she is going to charge you with assault or snuggle happily in to your arms on completion. Her first spanking should not be on her bare bottom, tight jeans or skirt will be fine, nor with an implement, a well applied hand will provide all the sting she needs. If she is ok with that, it won't be long before she graduates to a hairbrush on the bare, and then who knows?!

Bogey: I would not want to be with anyone that did not share my spanking interests. I would introduce spanking after a few dates.

sub hub: In my FLM, the idea was brought up well into the marriage. The only way I felt comfortable bringing it up at all was because I loved her very much, I trusted her very much and we always had a policy that we could be honest with each other without fear of, well, rejection. That being said,  there was no guarantee that this lifestyle was something she would agree to just because I brought it to her. Thankfully, everything worked out that way.

Wisdom comes to us later in life. Knowing what I know now, I would now always recommend that whenever the desire is realized, there must be an honest conversation about it within a relationship.

Nina: Hubby introduced spanking, and he did that early, while dating, before marriage. But we started with the playful version and he communicated that he wanted dd in our relationship. I had no clue about dd until he told me, but I felt absolutely safe with him and trusted him completely. It was good that I did that. Maybe he was just clever in how he introduced dd, because I already knew the good-girl version of spanking from him and was open to try dd.

Whether this approach would always be the best, I don’t know. But if dd is so important for one of the partners, they should really discuss this, the other partner should learn about it and try small steps. I think honesty is important here and I cannot imagine that a partner who craves dd but does not communicate this need, could be happy in the relationship in the long run.

Nevertheless, I know that not everybody is open for dd and discussing the topic then could cause problems.

Six of the best: If your date displeases you, tell her she needs a 'good spanking'. If she consents, give her one right that moment. Hopefully she will also consent to you giving it on her knickers down bare bottom.

Six, I'm glad you included "if she consents" in view of the current allegations against an extremely popular Canadian radio personality and his non-consensual violence toward the women he dated.

Sir Wendel: I would suggest finding out early in the relationship. I tested the waters during dating. When the opportunity presented itself I would give her a little smack on the bottom. Turned out she liked it and often returned the favor.

Jenn: If he's completely opposed to the idea, it doesn't matter when you do it. If he's into it, earlier is better. So go for it and bring it up on the third date. If he's pure vanilla, at least you'll find out early.

Hermione: If spanking is an important part of your life and you need to find a partner who enjoys it too, it's important to bring it up, but not on the first date. If you are compatible in other ways, then introduce the subject in a casual, light-hearted way and judge the response. Mentioning 50 Shades of Grey is an easy way to get the ball rolling.

What if there is real chemistry between you, but the object of your desire has no interest in spanking? Then you have to decide whether it's worth pursuing the relationship for all its other merits, or breaking it off. There is always the possibility that the two of you may eventually be on the same page, but do you want to take the risk? It's a difficult decision.

Stay tuned for more news about Love Our Lurkers Days, coming soon to a blog near you.
From Hermione's Heart

1 comment:

ronnie said...

So late.

If spanking is a big part of your life I would say bring it up fairly early into a relationship but not on the first few dates. Make sure there is something between you first.