Monday, April 21, 2008

Spanko Shopping

Ron and I shop for groceries together every weekend. He likes to accompany me, mainly to make sure I don't slip too many low-fat, high-fibre, low-sodium or otherwise healthy goodies into the shopping cart.

On a recent excursion we were in a playful mood; we were both thinking about the upcoming spanking that is also part of our weekend routine. Our minds were very much on that subject as we took a shortcut through the health and beauty department.

Along each aisle were small signs at regular intervals indicating the type of merchandise available. At the head of one aisle I saw a sign for Implements. I had to check that one out. Sure enough, there were the hairbrushes! Dozens of them in various shapes and sizes. I wanted to linger, but Ron reminded me we didn't use the one we had often enough.

Next, we detoured through the assistive devices. We passed crutches, neck and wrist braces, and other assorted paraphernalia, then Ron suddenly pointed to a display and said, "Look!" I looked, and saw an exquisite collection of long, highly-polished rosewood shoehorns.

"Beautiful," I murmured as I caressed one. "This is what I want for Christmas." I seem to have a thing for shoehorns.

At the checkout, we had a small difference of opinion over a magazine on display. Ron, who always has the final word on such matters, said, "You don't need that magazine."

As he pushed the cart past me, I replied, loud enough for anyone nearby to hear, "No Sir."

I rarely call him Sir when we are out in public, but I was feeling quite reckless by then. Our eyes met, Ron smiled slightly, and I could tell that his thoughts at that moment were very clearly along the lines of "wait till we get home" in the best possible way.

To pay for our groceries I brought out a brand-new credit card that has a time-saving feature. Instead of swiping the card through a slot, you just tap it against a special plate.

So I tapped the corner gently. Nothing happened.

"Try again," the cashier advised. I did. Still nothing.

"May I?" The cashier took my card, gave it a sound whack against the plate, and handed it back. "You have to smack it."

Smack it? I glanced at Ron with my eyes wide. He grinned.

"Ooh, can you do that again?"

"Only if you want to pay twice." Right.

I can't wait to come back next week," I giggled as I waited for my receipt. Now I really didn't dare look at my husband. I was losing it, fast! "Sorry, I don't get out much!"

I signed the slip, waved good-bye and joined Ron beside the cart.

"So you spanked your MasterCard," he teased.

We laughed all the way to the car, and headed home.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh, Hermione! When I read your title for this story my mind went in all different directions and when I settled down enough to read it I laughed the whole time. I am glad that you and Ron do things like that together and it is amazing what we can find in a simple grocery store! I am sure Ron made sure you got what you deserved for that "wait until we get home" look! LOL! Good story and again thanks for the smiles and laughs as I read this one!

Paul said...

Hermione, nice post made me chuckle.
So did "wait 'til I get you home,"
pay dividends, I hope that you enjoyed them.
Spanking the credit card can be dangerous, I remember the time, in the early days of credit cards, I'd got one for Mel, credit limit £100, this would have been about thirty-five years ago. Well Mel really spanked the credit card, she spent £140, not only did I have to pay the £40 excess but a fine and interest a total of £55 as I remember.
Mel was well spanked for that, she never spanked the credit card again.
Thanks Hermione, I haven't thought of that for years.
Warm hugs,


Shoe horns are fun :-) two totally different sensations at the end of the same toy - just ask for it to be flipped over at randomly chosen times and you never know what is coming next! love it.


david said...

I have a smile on my face that will last thru the day.

*hugs and grins*

mthc said...

That's cute..David likes to shop with me too. He's always smacking me in the stores..and i'm always looking to make sure NO ONE ELSE IS LOOKING!

Hermione said...

Pest - I love shopping, and if there are spanko overtones, so much the better!

Paul - I'm very careful with credit cards, as I'm sure Mel was after that first time.

spankedhortic - I'll have a shoehorn story to share with you soon.

David - And I can guess why!

mthc - That sounds like a lot of fun.


Anonymous said...

There is just nothing like the delicious pleasure leaving them guessing is there?

What is it about leaving a shop? How many times have I had the "Wait till I get you home" at a checkout

If shop assistants ever start a blog on "what I heard at the checkout today" I can't help wondering if someone might notice a trend and more of us would get found out!

Thanks H.


Dragon & Tiger said...

LOL!! That's too funny. I wonder if the cashiers had a good chat about it later? You know how gossip goes after all. You might get special treatment when you go in next week!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Harmonica! This is terrrific, though not at all what I expected from a spanko's 'credit card issue' post. Not that I'm disappointed, it's just that, as Paul mentioned, it isn't usually the card itself that causes the conflict in the story, but the credit line's being overspent, and I've written just that sort of conflict into several stories and at least one of my novels - all of which involved Gwen, oddly enough.

Well, perhaps not so oddly, but like Dariachick's similar fictional experience, those episodes occured only in my head. Anyway, just wanted to tell you how much I liked your grocery foray, and I do hope one of those shoehorns appears in your Christmas stocking, if not sooner.


Terpsichore said...

Thanks for the smile! :-)

Hermione said...

Recidavist - I like to leave a little something to the readers' imaginations. :-)

D&T - Many of them do know us and remember our preferences, so we'll see!

Devlin - Sorry to disappoint, but Hermione is far too responsible to be guilty of overspending by plastic.

Terpsichore - I'm glad you liked it.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it a truly secret delight to be a spanking enthusiast in a straight world?

Michelle said...

I ditto the sentiment span king