Thursday, May 29, 2008

Can You Be More Specific?



Here's a definition of the part of the body that is the source of delight for us spankos, courtesy of St. John's County, Florida.


"Buttocks: The area at the rear of the human body which lies between two imaginary lines running parallel to the ground, when a person is standing, the first or top of such lines drawn at the top of the cleavage of the nates: (i.e., the prominence formed by the muscles running from the back of the hip to the back of the leg) and the second or bottom line drawn at the lowest visible point of this cleavage or the lowest point of the curvature of the fleshy protuberance, whichever is lower, and between two imaginary lines on each side of the body, which lines are perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above, and which perpendicular lines are drawn through the point at which each nate meets the outer side of the leg."
Anti-nudity ordinance, St. John's County, Florida


Is that clear?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Huh?

Dr. Ken said...

There's an error in the ordinance in that there is no such thing as a "nate". I just checked with the on-line dictionary. "Nates", yes....."nate", no.

Dr. Ken

Anonymous said...

Some folks in FL. have way too much time on their hands.

Anonymous said...

Ummm,could you say that in plain language please?

Brooke D said...

What is up with the whole 'anti-nudity ordinance' thing anyway? From all the pics I've seen of florida beaches they seem to like skin. A lot. I must say though, that is the most technical (though not the most thorough) description of a booty I've ever heard of!

Paul said...

Hermione, just some bureaucrat with too much time on his hands.
Or an anal person freaking out at the thought of, gasp, nudity.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

Anonymous said...

Just give it a dam good slap, that all I want

Jess said...

Clear as mud - lol

Hugs

Jess

Hermione said...

sara - That's what I thought too.

Dr. Ken - Wow! You're more anal than I am. BTW I couldn't find either one in my Oxford Canadian dictionary.

Span King - I agree.

Anonymous - You're right on! It was an example of what not to do, taken from an online course called Plain Language.

River - It is a strange ordinance, all right.

Paul - Probably both.

stefan - Sounds good to me.

jess - It sure is!

Hugs,
Hermione

Anonymous said...

Dear Hermione-

This description of the buttocks reminded me of a joke my university Anatomy 101 teacher liked to tell.

He said that a deformity of the natel cleft (butt crack) can also be termed "asphalt".

Thank you very much. I'll be here all week.

:) Marie

Anonymous said...

This will be useful when I've misplaced my bottom. I will know exactly where to look for it. Oh... wait. I'd forgotten, my bottom is EVERYWHERE now. Have you noticed how one's bottom tends to take over one's life? I feel a bit like Sally on "Coupling," but seriously, I feel like my own has just run amuck and insists upon being noticed at all times. Perhaps if I explain to it that it has to stay within those imaginary lines that description mentioned... *grin*

hugs,
Abby

Terpsichore said...

oh my...is that clear to anyone? :-) hugs, Terpsichore

Hermione said...

Marie - Asphalt - that's a good one!

Abby - Yes, I do seem to have noticed it a lot lately!

Terpsichore - Only to the politicians.

Hugs,
Hermione