Monday, April 23, 2012

From the Top Shelf - Saucy Sal

I feel like a little poetry today. Here's a charming and humorous poem about a sailor on leave, from Old Jim's blog Tail Tales.

Saucy Sal - A Sailor's Tale

A sailor boy was I on leave
A girl in every town
And once in port I'd waste no time
To pull their knickers down.
In London there was little Nell
Near Liverpool lived Nancy
While Bristol harboured Jill and Jane
Who both did take my fancy.

In Plymouth fair I chanced to stray
One morning bright and early
And there I spied a pretty maid
Whose hair was long and curly.
“Would you care to step out with me?”
I asked in tone quite pally
“I don’t mind if I do kind sir,”
She said, “My name is Sally.”

“But not today for I must work
Meet me tomorrow night at eight
And if you buy my beer and ale
You surely will enjoy our date.
For I am gay and fancy free
And liberal with favour
If you would kindly spank my bum
My normal fee I’ll waver!”

Next day before our rendezvous
Not wishing to be bored
I met with Sue and Katie too
With both of them I scored.
Then in the afternoon I met
A girl called Lizzie from the docks
Inside her knickers she me let
Down on the beach, behind some rocks.

At eight o’clock I made my way
Down to the Rose and Thistle
My throat was parched; I ordered ale
With which to whet my whistle.
Then through the door behind me stepped
Young Sally for our meeting
Her eyes were flashing wild with rage
She spurned my cheery greeting

Confronting me my saucy Sal
So full of fun and frolics
A vicious oath at me did yell
And kicked me in the bollocks.
“Two timing rat!” she screamed, irate,
“I've heard that you’ve been busy
Out dallying with Sue and Kate
And then with my friend Lizzie

“Now piss off back to sea,” she said
“Forget designs upon my bum
And if you come near me again
I’ll go and tell my mum!”
So friends heed warning from this tale
The next time a pretty girl you dates
If time to spare, for goodness sake
Don’t spend it with some of her mates.
I hope you'll visit Tail Tales and sample some of his other work. You won't be disappointed!

From Hermione's Heart


Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...


Fun poem. Thank you.


ronnie said...

That's a funny one. Will certainly visit Tail Tales. Thanks for the link and the poem Hermione.


ricky said...

I'm called little buttercup,
Sweet little buttercup,
Sailors should never be shy . . .

Hermione said...

Joey - I'm glad you liked it too.

Ronnie - I hope he is prepared for the onslaght of visitors today:)

Ricky - Yay! Another G&S fan! Little Buttercup, the bumboat woman - how appropriate!


Anonymous said...

funny.. makes me wish i was a sailor in my youth,with such good fortune...

sixofthebest said...

Here is my poem to you Hermione. Beauty is of the heart, and that of mind. Beauty is what you possess. Especially your voluptous BEHIND. Thanks, and Spanks.

Daisychain said...

The poem is great, its funny,
I giggled all the way through,
You never let us down, hunni,
We always can trust you.
Every day you are here,
With a witty, funny post
Come rain or shine, never fear,
Hermione writes the most.
Fiction, fact, puzzle, rhyme,
We really should be thanking
You for how you spend your time
And your dedication to spanking!


Aimless Rambling said...

very cute. Thanks

Hermione said...

Red - He does seem to have a lot of stamina. Must be that salty air.

Six - How sweet. Thank you dear.

Daisy - I love it! Thank you so much:)

Sunnygirl - My pleasure.


ricky said...

...the bumboat woman . . .
You know, I just got that (LOL)!