Bonnie is away this week, so I welcome you to my blog for some friendly discussion.
Many athletes adopt the habit of motivating themselves by repeating certain phrases in their minds while performing. For example, a swimmer might use 'Ebows high" as a reminder. It's called self-talk, and it's a proven successful technique to improve stamina, style, or strength.
As a spanker or spankee, do you self-talk while engaged in a spanking? If so, what do you say to yourself? What is the intention of your internal conversation? Does it have an effect on your performance, or on the outcome? If you don't self-talk, is it something you might try? Why or why not?
Leave your observation in a comment and I will provide an edited summary once everyone has had a chance to speak.
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20 comments:
Great question, Hermione! I definitely engage in self-talk when spanking my lovely Season. It usually concerns where to place the spanks upon her tantalizing tush. I say to myself not to spank too high so to stay away from her kidneys because when that happens it is painful instead of squirmily ouchy.
Also, I try not to leave dark bruises on her bottom but instead strive for an overall glow with some red marks mixed in so I tell myself to cover her entire backside and not concentrate on one spot or side too much. This requires a delicate balance as during discipline spankings (usually during role play as Season is mostly a good girl.....mostly) I will briskly spank the same spot repeatedly to drive home a point.
When I run, I will focus on each step and repeat "One step at a time" rather than how many miles left. When I am spanked, I focus on each stroke and repeat "You can take one more." Using that phrase gets me through most hard spankings.
Sometimes if I am beginning to really feel the punishment my Mistress is giving me I begin to wonder if I can take it. She gives the strokes of the paddle,strap or cane in set numbers and then gives me a little breather. I find that working out the percentage of strokes that remain helps me get through them. For instance if I am receiving 24 strokes of the cane and I have taken 18 knowing that I have only 25% left helps me endure the remainder.
When I use the cane on a lady's bare bottom, I sometimes, repeat the word's "Its six of the best for you, my naughty lady. Six of the very best, on that naked rear end of yours".
Whether it's a punishment or a maintenance spanking, I always think to myself "This is for us. This will reset us, release guilt and anger."
I seem to be able to set aside the pain and focus on us when I keep reminding myself of this.
I'm a big believer in self talk. Say the wrong things often enough in your head and you believe them-and the opposite is true, too. But-having said that, I have to admit that often I am having rude thoughts in my head, varying, from: "Oh for Pete's sake- is that the best you can do?" "Find a different spot, d---h----!" and in response to his frequently muttered comment, uttered reverently while he admires his work, running his palm over my flaming ass(You should feel that!) "I AM feeling it you, Idiot." I have, for the most part, mastered the art of keeping these thoughts to myself......And when the intensity does ramp up I have fine tuned the ability to zone out, and then flying into subspace-which I understand many do not approve of....
That is a great question, but I, as the receiver, try not to think during because I feel that would take away from DH. I feel like it would be rude, therefore, I am just all ears!
I don't so much self talk as self sing. During the early part of a spanking, before the magic happens, when it is just horrible pain that has to be toughed out, this is when I mentally sing. The song does not come out loud but is just in my head and it does help get through the harsh part to the good bit. The song is Be My Enemy by The Waterboys.
Prefectdt
Self talk? Yes, sure...it goes "oww, owwwwww, shi*, that hurt...owwww..." then more of a similar nature...
xxxxxx
"I think I can, I think I can..." "Oww mother *#@%! Don't curse out loud!"
It really depends on the situation. Sometimes I'm just trying to take it all in and get through it, other times I might be pleasantly zoned out and not thinking much of anything.
I think the paddle does all the talking necessary. It gets the message across without much input from me.
Self talk? "Oh CRAP that HURTS!"
I often times find myself keeping a count in my head while giving a spanking. There is usually a temp behind it as well.
Okay, since we're new at this, I say "ouch" out loud, and then when he backs off, I think, "No, harder! don't stop!" but of course I don't say that out loud (sigh).
Even with my admittedly limited experience, I agree with reneerose~closetgirl. I want to be able to say "ow" but have him continue - a little harder.
The need for some sort of mental strategy is something I realized when an expert gave me one of my first spankings. I told him afterward, "I realized after it started to hurt that I didn't have any sort of a strategy for dealing with the pain," and I didn't really like the pain! Lol - so inexperienced! He said that some people tell themselves, "I can take it. I can take X more" or "I can take anything for one minute."
So far with my boyfriend I have always wanted more, though I may have met my match in that wooden paddle! Just four good swats with that thing and I was wondering if I should burn it! I guess, in general, I would tell myself that I can take it and that it won't last very long. A second between spanks and only 16 spanks would be less than a minute. Also, I would be thinking, "That's the last one! Please??" if it ever gets bad. If I go to the corner, I know there will be more to come, so I would just be panicking, "It hurts so much. How can I take any more?? But there will be more." Repeat.
Good question Hermione.
Depends on the spanking I'm getting. Sometimes it's the usually owwww owwww, god that's hard and telling myself not to swear and to breath.
Other times I'm just in another world and not thinking of anything.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
Hi Hermione good lunch topic,I`m usually to busy crying for misbehaving again but I keep telling myself to keep my bottom up and legs straight so I don`t get extras on the back of my legs love to all david
This one made me laugh out loud for real! 99% of my self-talk is not fit for public viewing. Mostly about how I can't take it and it hurts and I can't do it...but add lots of colorful words to those sentiments. Others might find it disrespectful, but I do keep it silent and find it helps me to be calmer afterward.
I am not part of your "club", so if I am not allowed to comment please remove this! :-)
My inner dialogue is very loud and cheeky! I spend most of my time thinking either
A: I know he loves me, and he is doing this for me, so I will not complain that it's boring.
B: Should I say ow on this one...no no it could get a little harder and i'd still be ok, is this..noo...WOWZERS! OW OW OW OW OW~
C: How do I tell him that he has hit the same dang spot 10 times in a row and I can tell it's bruising up while the rest of my derriere is white as ivory.... if I tell him he is going to hit that same spot harder and tell me to not direct him... masybe if i shift a litttle OUCH! bad plan... he caught me...
or
D: How strong am I really? How much do I really trust him? If I "safe word" he will stop immediately, but it means that I am taking control...do I NEED to take control, am I really in danger, or am I just uncomfortable and wanting to take charge... I'll let him keep going.. I trust him.
Sometimes I sing in my head...sometimes it comes out and then...well. let's just say i dont sing anymore. ;-)
I don't always have the same mantra, but I do tend to float between a few.
I tell myself "You asked for this, now take it" when we first get started, because I was the one who asked if we could introduce spanking into our play. Joeyred's "You can take one more" has helped when the going gets tough. When I can hear that he's really enjoying himself I starting thinking "Damn! That's good!" on every stroke. And when it hurts like all get out I think "Don't tell him to stop," because I know if I say it he will stop and somehow I will feel like I lost the game.
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