Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for November 6

Do you like the feeling of danger that someone could learn your deepest secret?

Roz: That is a great question. Only in the context of spanking outdoors in a semi-secluded spot where there is the thrill of possibly being seen by strangers. The thought of people we know finding out doesn't thrill me, although I do wonder if neighbours have heard and know. We have had close calls a couple of times with door knocks.

Anon: First, why is it your deepest secret?

Jack: While dating I kept my spanking desires my secret, but soon learned that women, especially older women, catch on. I was dating an older woman, I said nothing about my secret, then one day out of the blue she reminded me the age difference and that she was old enough to my mother. I looked at her and said nothing, she said what I needed was a spanking, and then to my shock, this is what you want me to do is it not. I said nothing at first, asked how she knew, females just know, and I asked if that what she was going to do, spank me. She smiled, said yes, then said you may want to be spanked, but you need to be spanked, and soon bare bottom over her lap I got my first adult spanking and it hurt and I squirmed, kicked, wanting her to stop. When she did, told to face the wall, no rubbing, talking. I soon stood before her, admitting I wanted to be spanked, and it was not long afterwards she introduced to a good friends of her, my age. That first date she said she knew of my secret. 

Wendy: Kinda sorta? I’ve had conversations in my head with people about it under the scenario that they accidentally learned of it. The thing is, I am pretty sure that one family member does know, and there is a good possibility that he is a kindred spirit, but we have never discussed it. 

Prefectdt: In a play situation, yes. Someone did accidentally walk into a room, whilst I was bare butted and enjoying a pay to play once, a few years ago. I have to admit that the friendly "Oops" situation did add a bit of an extra thrill to the play. I don't like the feeling of danger from an unsympathetic individual being able to identify me and my activities, though. I have been left a little wary, after my blog gained the unwelcome attention of some far right groups, in Belgium. That happened some years ago now, I was still on blogger then. But still it is always in the back of my mind.

Barrel: I am going to tease the question into two parts. First, I do like the feeling that someone might find out about our secret. While it does not excite me that someone might learn about it, it heightens the mental sensation of the act. Second, I don’t think of it as dangerous. If someone were to find out, I would have to accept their knowing and embrace it as it is something unique and very intimate my wife and I share.

A great topic this week. Thanks.

Bonnie: The fear of accidental disclosure is the only genuine fear I associate with being spanked. I know my spankings will always hurt a lot and sometimes leave marks, but I absolutely trust that Randy will never endanger me. Even with the emotional side, I know he is there to protect me and help me feel safe.

Here's where the enigma comes in. Being exposed is a thrilling fantasy. Randy teases me as I lie across his lap, "What would your (adult) students say if they knew you get paddled before class?" A tingle goes through me as I momentarily envision raised eyebrows and expressions of concern. "And what would they say if they knew you love to be spanked and even beg for it?" This suggestion makes me want to blush with embarrassment. And yet, it's indisputably arousing. This banter definitely heightens the experience.

But I have no desire to be out. We have people in our lives who are incapable of understanding and I have no desire to try to explain our peculiar love. So this joy remains just for us (and people who read my blog).

Dan: A couple of years ago, the rubber hit the road for me on this topic. I was sitting at home one night and had, in fact, been reading spanking blogs. I got a well-timed email, from a sender I didn't recognize but with a subject line that included one of my actual passwords. The email claimed that the sender had hacked my computer and copied my browsing history. It also claimed to have captured screenshots of videos and websites I had visited. Finally, it claimed to have downloaded all my contacts and threatened to send them all the nastiest examples of my internet browsing unless I immediately sent $25,000 in crypto.

The key to the scam was that it included one of my actual passwords. It gave it a lot of immediate legitimacy. Initially, I went into a full-blown panic. I thought about my parents, siblings, work colleagues, clients/customer contacts, etc. getting a front row seat to my most embarrassing viewing habits. After an hour or two of indulging the panic, I started to calm down and had glimmers of positive thoughts about what it would feel like to just own it. Of course, my next move was to look up the scenario on-line, where I found this was a common scam in which the scammer got access to thousands of passwords that had been exposed in previous data breaches. I was comforted for sure, but there was, in fact, a twinge of regret that I wouldn't now be forced to own my kink.

I had a much less threatening incident in which someone at work actually did get a small peek at my kink. I was working remotely and had a computer problem. A female IT worker at my company finally had to take remote command of the computer. At one point, she tried to cut and paste something, but the "paste" somehow was a very explicit spanking reference that I had cut right before the remote session. Well, there was a pause for a few seconds as the female IT person absorbed what she was seeing, then she quickly moved on. While it was embarrassing, I admit it was a bit of a turn on when I'd see her at work, knowing she knew something about my little secret.

Anon: I do not like the feeling of danger. I have been scared of people finding out my entire life. Now I do not care so much. I do wish I had someone to talk to about my interest so I would not feel so alone.

Wendel: The thrill of spanking outdoors and the fear of being seen make those spanking more pleasurable. Although we do pick outside locations that are very secluded so it is not likely someone will stumble on our spankings.
We have spanked each other many time right before the family stops over for dinners. It is fun to watch the Misses maneover around with a sore bottom while family is over. 

A.J.: Not sure about the word 'danger,' but yes.

Some years ago I read about a divorce. Did not know them, but the story was that it was an angry divorce, one that could not be settle amicably and out of court. Papers were filed. That became public. Papers before the court in which she tried to burn his character by saying he like to be spanked, and she did so regularly. She did it to claim custody of their children, and this was proof he was unfit (a pervert!)

He was an attorney, and his law firm and all his fellow employees found out. As did his long-cultivated clients. His entire family also found out; parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins. So it's not just ONE, casual friend finding out, it's the greater outside world that can bring your career and reputation to ruin.

For that reason, and I'm sure for you too - I'm damn careful! And I never get spanked without also spanking her too. For parity.

Alan: I would like to know a few more details about the divorce alluded to above. Simply engaging in what appears to be consensual adult spanking is not prima facie grounds to rule someone an “unfit” parent. And then there is the little matter that his wife also allegedly did the spanking. It sounds like at worse a case of the kettle calling the pot black. I am not saying that situation like this can’t get messy. But lets be careful about implying that a reveal of this type can get you locked out from your children on that basis alone.

Nele: For me, people we know finding out falls firmly into the "It's fun to fantasize about, but let's not find out what happens in reality" category. I love to take pictures of my partner's well-spanked bottom and to ask him if I should send them to his parents to compare notes, but always with a dedicated camera instead of my phone to avoid the risk of actually sending them to someone accidentally.

Occasionally, we will do something in semi-public like in the woods, an abandoned building or a deserted parking lot, and it does add this little extra thrill, but we always try to make sure we would see unsuspecting witnesses before we see them. 

Only two actual incidents come to mind. One is an occasion where we had a paddle laying around on our bed, while a technician was in there to repair a heater. I only noticed it after he was gone, which made it less awkward, but to this day, I wonder if he noticed and if so, what he thought about it. On the other occasion, I got a hard caning the day before I was due for a small medical procedure that had completely slipped my mind, so a gynecologist and two nurses got a close-up look at what were clearly cane marks on my butt and thighs. I just said that they were consensual and then everyone focused on the more important things, but it was deeply embarrassing and not something I would like to repeat.  Now it's fun to think about it though.

KDPierre: I thought this was an interesting question taken literally. However, it soon became apparent from the responses that "deepest secret" was just being used as a euphemism for spanking activity. In that context the question doesn't apply to me because we are quite open about it. My actual deepest secrets are serious and kept as secrets precisely because I do not welcome the danger of exposing them. (I think if spanking is truly someone's deepest secret, they are probably candidates for sainthood. ;-) )

Hermione: Sometimes I have wondered what the folks in the office would have thought if I had spilled the beans. I know my workmates considered me somewhat uptight and straight-laced. If they only knew. But it would have jeopardized my career, so I was very careful to keep my mouth shut when the talk around the water cooler turned kinky.

I did have a little bit of exposure at work, both times with the same co-worker.  The first time, she came to my office to work on a spreadsheet with me. She needed to go into Word for something, and saw a spanking image that I had been playing with (a Do Not Disturb doorknob sign). I quickly closed it and nothing was said. The second time, she saw me reading an erotic novel and commented on it, but in a positive way. Since her lifestyle was not mainstream, I felt that she wouldn't out me.

Rosco: I can’t think of 4 friends, all women, who know have indicated they know so I’m guessing others know as well but are discreet. I would mostly be embarrassed to hear it from my kids. Two of the women said they wanted to spank me. I told them they’d need Irene’s permission and it never went any further.

Stay tuned for some very exciting news later this week.

Glory to Ukraine