It snowed again yesterday, and more is predicted for today and tomorrow. Le sigh! (as dear Morningstar used to say). Never mind. If life hands you snow, make snow cones, right?
To cheer me up, our thoughtful friend Bonnie sent me an interesting question that you will all enjoy.
If you shared your spanking interest with a close vanilla friend, do you think your friend would be more surprised to learn that you and your partner engage in real spankings, or that the spankee willingly accepts those spankings?
I'll be waiting to hear your thoughts, so please leave them in the comments section below. Once everyone has had a chance to think about their answer, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.
Glory to Ukraine
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15 comments:
I posed this question based upon a recent real-life experience. A few weeks ago, a close work friend of many years who is now retired joined me for lunch at our house. We did a lot of catching up as you might expect. Along the way, she shared that she and her husband enjoy nudist activities. This was not a major revelation because Sue was always an open-minded sort. She described what they do and how much they like it.
Then the conversation swung around to whether Randy and I had any interesting "hobbies." Since we were sharing, I revealed that I receive regular spankings and have done so since college. She was more surprised than shocked. I think she wanted to tell me, "You don't seem like the type," but she didn't use those words.
"Do you mean real spankings or fun kind during sex? Everyone does that." I assured Sue, it was the real thing. "Like with a paddle?" I then showed her a well-worn wooden paddle that was indisputably real. "And you just bend over and take it?" she asked as she ran her fingers over the surface.
"Yes," I replied, "In fact, I sometimes ask for a spanking." She had many more questions and as I answered them, her tone transitioned from concerned to intrigued. I wouldn't be surprised if Sue and her husband has an interesting conversation later.
For my friend, the second answer applied. She was most surprised that I agree to be spanked.
A very interesting question. I'm not sure, but the friend I have in mind would probably be more surprised than shocked. Maybe a little of both.
Hugs
Roz
Several years ago, I did share our spanking and discipline relationship with a close female friend and former colleague. She was interested in hearing about it but didn't ask enough questions for me to get a feel for whether there was a particular thing she found surprising. It probably would have been that I initiated this aspect of the relationship. She knew me as someone who was pretty intense and in control at work. Kind of the opposite of a submissive. I suspect she would have been puzzled about how the "real spanking" lifestyle I was describing could be squared with the fairly dominant traits she had always known me to display.
The people I've shared this with are more curious about the consent to real discipline aspect since nowadays the more sexy/recreational type of play spanking is fairly accepted, especially among younger folks and even among those who themselves don't engage in it.
We’ve tried to be pretty private, but there have been a few occasions in 40+ years when hints have slipped out. I have no idea if our friends and relatives have mentioned it to each other.
I’m guessing that most realize we still have a pretty active and passionate sex life, and few would be surprised to learn of our proclivities. I’m also guessing they’d know Irene was the top, but I could be wrong.
Rosco
Sadly, I've lost my understanding of the vanilla mind.
Intellectually, I know there are people who aren't turned on by spanking. But really, what are they thinking?
Perhaps they wouldn't believe we did this unless they saw it for themselves. Then, they wouldn't be vanilla any more.
Really, my guess is that they would be too traumatized for me to get a good reading.
There is a divorced woman in the neighborhood, my wife and her enjoy one another company, coffee at our home or at her's. It was maybe six months of knowing one another, the woman shared why she was divorced and wonder what kept our marriage going. I was not present, by my wife told me that she said she gives punishment spankings. The woman was surprised, and my wife explained further and this woman ask some questions. My wife told me she would never spank, was not that type of woman. Jack
My attempts at coming out as a Spanko, to friends and family, have only met with rejection of the fact. Apparently, I am not the type. So my answer to the question is neither of the above.
Prefectdt
I thought I will sit one out, but just couldn't...
Izzie drops the robe to put on the next wedding dress, and N. notes the particular pink stripes across her butt.
"I see he takes good care of you."
"This morning, to remind me of him while I'm away." Izzie rubs dreamily.
"A belt?" N. scoffs.
"Hey, I left him for the whole weekend!"
"Does he know, you're buying a dress?"
"Of course not."
"You will get another one for that."
"No, I won't. That's not how it works with us. " Izzie gets all defensive.
"How does it work, dear?" N. asks, genuinely worried for her friend.
"I don't know, it just works. Don't jinx it! Maybe I will get one, a happy one."
I am living vicariously through the people who have commented here that they have opened up to share this spanko secret. What a liberating feeling that must be! I would not dare to dream of doing that in real life, as much as I would fervently love to! I wrote a blank verse poem that I put prominently on the home page of my blog, "Trailblazer with a Blazing Tail" because I cannot come out at present. God bless you if you have.
Another great, thought-provoking topic; made for a delicious brunch! Thanks for having me!
Warmly,
Jean Marie
In real life, I came out as having a spanko blog to my most faithful and thoughtful beta reader (actually an alpha reader, as she was always the first to read) and lost her. I nudged a couple of times but nothing. Maybe I should write some pure vanilla fluff and send it to her as a peace offering...
If Bonnie does not re-do her response with more details of that conversation - we are all losers!
Yer' on kid!!
A.J.
A.J. - I think I covered the high points above.
I learned what people do at nudist parties - cook, eat, sing, drink, dance, smoke pot, talk, and play games. I didn't think until later to ask about Naked Twister. It's not our thing, but clearly Sue enjoys it all.
As I mentioned, she asked me a bunch of questions about our spanking relationship. These were questions I've answered many times on my blog: How does it feel? (It hurts) Why do I like it? (It's complicated) Does it really hurt? (Yes!) Do I ever spank Randy? (Never) Do we use other implements besides the paddle? (Yes). An so forth.
I think that's about it. You're not losers!
I have a close male friend that I have known since school (and I'm over 50).
I'm not sure how it came about (maybe something my wife said at a party years ago), but both him and his wife think that I like to be spanked. It hasn't ever (so far as I am aware) been confirmed, but I am sure that if I ever confirmed that my wife spanks me and that I sometimes ask for it, neither would be surprised.
Would my friend would be more surprised to learn I and my GF engage in real spankings, or that the spankee willingly accepts those spankings?
Whadaquestion!!!
That's a delicate conversion. Being a switch I'm extra careful. Not to leave out "appearances must be maintained."
In that vein.... Spent an afternoon with a really vanilla GF some years ago. A late lunch led to drinks in a wonderful ritzy hotel bar. We were the only ones there. (Alcohol was involved.)
For the fun of it I asked her if she ever did something sexually dangerous or kinky. The best should could come up with was that she and her partner made out in a car one dark night; he got to kiss and fondle her C-Cups, and finger her to a big wet and sloppy "O!" (I think he got a BJ.) And that's was it.
Yes. (Yawn...)
Then I got asked the same question. Told her I had trouble with the word "kinky" and didn't think much of anything I ever did fell into that category (one person's kink is another's 'Meh' - as long as you don't scare the dog!!!) but certainly different.
"Oh?" she asked.
Oh, what the hell. Told her before I met her I dated a girl who LOVED to be put OTK and spanked.
"Oh, my God!!!!!!! Noooooo!!!!!
She thought that was sick (NB: I got the message.) And then wanted to know all about it.
Told her that the former GF got off by being spanked. Her orgasms were volcanic. She heard that and... Noooooo!!!!!
Yes.
Told her some of the details of the when, the how, the stream of the events, etc. And she was fascinated!!! Sat across from me, intently listening to my every word, mouth slightly open... I think she was a bit dry in the mouth hearing all this, trying get the thought that some women might actually get off on fantasies that include spanking.
Anyway, she was fascinated. (And never asked if I had ever been on the other side of the lap. Not sure what I would have said if she asked.)
Can't say for sure, but I'd make a small wager she became a little "moist" hearing all this. Do I think she would let me spank her? Not a chance.
A.J.
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