Welcome, dear friends, to our weekly celebration of all things spanking. Today's topic was suggested by our good friend and fellow blogger Bonnie.
What one change could make your spankings better?
Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.
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Glory to Ukraine
Do hand spankings work for you?
Bonnie: I love receiving hand spankings from my husband. It's just so intimate.
Unfortunately, this doesn't happen very often. Randy has endured a
series of hand and wrist problems over the years that limit his capacity
for delivering spankings. We think spankings may have played a role so
we are very careful. Spankings are supposed to hurt, but not that way.
Fortunately, his ability to swing a paddle is mostly unaffected.
Anon: They can be very effective. I find it easier to target the sit spots by
hand. I also like the moment later on when the spankee reveals she
spotted the hand print which occasionally occurs.
Like any other
form of spanking, the keys IMO are covering every speck, with absolute
firmness. Any good spanker understands well when the spankees reactions
are showing effectiveness.
Wendel: A good old fashioned hand spanking is wonderful. Hard to beat (pun) the feel of the bare hand smacking the bare bottom. After countless spankings with the paddle and belt a hand spanking really does not cause much pain for us. The butt turns red and stings a little but the intimacy from the smacks is far more enjoyable than the actual spanking.
Sage: I love hand spankings but they hurt my partner's hand after a while. So I
bought this leather hand protector called a spanking buddy, from Cane-iac. It's fantastic. It stings more than his hand does. In fact, if
he whacked me harder, it could be a punishment spanking, if we did
that, but we don't. He
can spank me a long time with it, without his hand hurting at all. Not
sure why it's so effective, but it is. It spanks great for foreplay for
him, and foreplay and stress release for me.
Can-iac is such a
marvelous place. I can't believe they're going out of business. All the
stuff I've gotten from them has been top quality, though I love the
horse brush and the leather stuff the most.
Sadly, people outside the US are unable to access their website.
Graham: For M/F hand spankings can work fine. For F/M, I find them OK for a warm-up, but I need considerably more than just the hand for the rest of the session.
Wolfman7446: I have always enjoyed giving hand spankings, My hand was very calloused due to work and I never felt any discomfort in administering them. However, if the girl had been appropriately naughty, a hairbrush would have been in order.
Roz: I love the intimacy and connection of a hand spanking and yes, it can be very effective!
Norse Cavalier: I love giving OTK hand-spankings; they are by far my favourite type! As
for "effective", that depends on what you mean by the word. When I
deliver a punishment spanking (which is rare), I prefer to end it with my
clothes brush to make the spankee feel truly sorry for what she's done.
But I always start with the hand, regardless of whether it's a fun
spanking or punishment.
The longest hand-spanking I've ever given
was about two hours, I think. There will be some slight stinging in my
hand, but not much. At one party I was at, I gave a hard hand-spanking
for about twenty or thirty minutes, and a guy that was watching (and is
new to the scene) was concerned and asked whether my hand was OK.
Interestingly, he did not ask whether the young lady's bottom was OK.
Prefectdt: I find that the answer to this question tends to vary, depending on how seasoned the hand of the person giving the spanking is. The problem with hand spankings is that butts spank back and anyone with a hand that is not experienced and tempered will not give an effective spanking before it becomes too painful for them. Other people can give very effective hand spankings. I experienced one professional who used to make me sigh with relief, as she reached for her hairbrush, when I was over her knee.
Jack: My first spanking as an adult was a hand spanking, an older woman I was seeing. Nothing sexual, she had enough of my attitude and decided a spanking was needed. Oh I was given a choice end the relationship or take the spanking. I took the spanking, a bare bottom hand spanking that had me squirming, kicking, pleading and trouble sitting. My wife/mommy will sometimes do a hand spanking, but mostly it is the bath brush.
KDPierre: As a guy spanking a female (at those times when I switched) I found hand spankings to be effective. However, as a male spankee, getting one from a female? Never--not once--have they ever been even the least bit effective, even when I was just starting out.
A.J.: "Why do you think hand spankings work or don't work for you? "
I
only give/get hand spankings that are not hard or punishment, and for
the reason so many have already mentioned - the intimacy. I just love
her warmth when otk, love baring her bottom and hearing her little
squeak when her panties are pulled down, the pre-spanking feel and
caresses of her tush. On the flip side, when it's me otk - the same!
(Without the squeak, though.)
It's just fun. An implement takes that fun away (to me.)
"Do you find hand spankings to be effective?"
For me and her - yes. Because the goal is a nice pink tush leading to further intimacy if-you-know-what-I-mean-and-I-think-you-do.
Quick story #1.
I had a wonderful woman, an Asian-American and a spanko, over my knee for our first time spanking, using only my hand.
Her reaction?
"Yawn..."
So I pumped up the intensity!
"Yawn..."
Really pumped it up!!! Spanking almost has hard as I could!!!! A fer'-real spanking!
"Yawn..."
So we paused and I asked her why. She said, "Asian butt. We have butts like leather."
I
didn't know if that was true and told her I'd have to do more
"research," and she would have to supply me with some Asian-American
girl bottoms for testing! Yeah; that didn't happen.
She wanted
more and my hand really hurt, so I made her go get me something in her
apartment that I could use to take care of her - properly! She got off
my lap and started to pull her panties up and..."No! Panties stay were they are!"
The highlight of the evening!!!
The
sight of her bare bottom as she walked away in little steps, hobbled by
those panties at her ankles; and that same view as she came back with a
small paddle - priceless!!! Still makes me smile. Come to think of it,
she was smiling, too.
My hand hurt all the way home. By morning
I noticed it was swollen; later it started to turn black and blue at
the thick part of my palm. This woman was one of the very few I played
with where a hand spanking was just not going to work, so that little
paddle was used.
Quick story #2.
On a grueling road trip and needed a massage. Found one, and in a "What the hell" moment asked if she would also spank me. By hand, of course.
Her: "You want that? For me to spank you? Really?"
"Yes."
As so she did. OTK she pinked me up pretty good with about 150 gentle-to-mild with her bare hand. And it was over. And fun.
But then I had to be the damn fool, I asked her for a bit more. "Just" 100 more, all bare hand on bare bottom but, this time, HARD and FAST! A real spanking. I told her I wanted what I called The Angry Girlfriend" spanking.
Her, carefully: "Are you sure...?"
Yes. Simple. Just 100.
Big mistake!
And
I knew it from the first smack. With the next two in rapid succession I
inhaled all the air in the room, grit my teeth, and held on, hoping not
to yell! And since I ASKED for this, well, big boy, you gotta' take it!
It lasted all of 20-25 seemingly endless seconds. My butt was on fire.
I
was on a flight home the next day - and I could still feel it! Forty
hours later and getting into bed - I could still feel it.
Lesson: Be careful what you ask for. Especially from someone who uses their strong hands and arms to make a living.
Did I "find (that) hand spanking to be effective?"
Oh God, yes!
It's funny,now; at the moment less so!
Rosco: Irene, my darling wife, cannot spank my bottom nearly hard enough with
her hand to feel even the slightest sting. 30 years ago maybe, but not
now.
But she can slap my balls or penis and get my attention for sure.
Ronnie: I love hand spankings. I find them very intimate and yes they can be very effective.
FL: Absolutely they can be effective, as well as incredibly intimate. Of course there are many variables but unless the goal is maximum pain, a hand spanking can produce whatever effect is desired, when delivered with some skill and connection between parties.
Hermione: OTK hand spankings are my absolute favourite in stories; in real life, not so much. I find the position uncomfortable. Whenever Ron uses his hand, it's only for a few brief smacks. They never hurt very much, but the closeness, as others have said, is what counts. For good effect, leather implements do the job.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Just when I thought spring was here, it snowed again! But my motto is, when life hands you snow, make snow cones :)
Let's stay in where it's warm and consider this week's topic for discussion.
Do you find hand spankings to be effective? Why do you think they work or don't work for you?
Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a
chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation. Thank you, KDPierre, for this interesting topic.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
We get plenty of spam telephone calls, from Ashley at Amazon Prime, Lisa at Home Comfort, and the always annoying Paul from Microsoft tech support. But yesterday's call was somewhat different. I answered the phone, and after a short period of silence (always the sign of a spam call), the conversation went something like this.
Voice: Hello, is this Mrs. _______?
Me: Yes.
Voice: How are you today?
Me: Good. (Get on with it, what do you want)
Voice: I'm calling from Mega Millions to let you know you have won 8.5 million dollars.
Me: Oh. (I never buy lottery tickets)
Voice: Is this the first time you're hearing about this?
Me: Yes.
Voice: Let me tell you how to claim your prize.
Me: No thanks. I have plenty of money.
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. I told Ron, who said the next step would have been for me to give my bank details so they could supposedly credit my account with the millions of dollars, but more likely clean out my account. He then consulted Mr Google, and it seems that Mega Millions is only in the USA, so I would never have been able to buy a ticket.
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Glory to Ukraine
Our topic was trying to get out of being spanked, and here's what you said.
Dan: Since all our spankings are disciplinary, oh yes, I've tried to get out of many of them. They say "justice delayed is justice denied," and delay is my go-to move for trying to get out of one.
Sage: I am always trying to get into a spanking, not out of one. But then my spankings cause me pleasure & no serious pain. I am grateful though that my vanilla partner is willing to spank me twice a week, for between 30 minutes & an hour, interspersed with vanilla stuff. He's stopped asking me "Have you had enough?" because he knows by now I'll always say "No, I'm insatiable. Stop when you are tired."
Bonnie: I would say very seldom, and never without a good reason. We generally agree to postpone the spanking until a better time, but I don't get out of it.
Graham: Nope! Never had a spanking that wasn't well deserved -- or at least pretty well deserved!
Wendel: I would have to agree with Sage Blum. The Misses and I are happy to get spanked.
Roz: I may have protested verbally on the odd occasion but the spanking always happened. There have also been times where Rick has decided not to spank and I have said "I thought you would spank". A dodgy move perhaps lol,
Jack: No way, tried everything, not going to happen, my wife/mommy isn't going to change her mind.
FL: Was role playing with a new partner, I pleaded a little too enthusiastically not to be punished and she let me off the hook. Then the penny dropped and boy, did she make up for it!
Prefectdt: I'll say a big fat no to that question :)
Barrel: Our spankings are consensual so either of us can opt out…for a while. We use spanking as a prelude to intimacy and if there is a better or more desirable offering at the time, either of us can pick a better option. Spankings are also used for disciplinary, educational and stress relief reasons, and while not always implemented at the time of the triggering event, we always get to the thrashing, but not until both of us feel the time is right.
A.J.: Nope!!! Good Lord, why? Too much fun!
Allow me nominate poster “FL” for providing us the “Comment of the day!” That one made me laugh.
Hermione: Like many of you, I would never try to avoid a spanking. Bring it on, I say!
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Top of the morning to you all! On this St. Paddy's Day weekend we have an interesting topic to explore.
Do you or your partner ever try to get out of being spanked? If so, what techniques are used and do they work?
Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation. Thank you, Bonnie, for yet another great topic.
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Glory to Ukraine
Click on the image if you need to, to read all the text.
Thank you, KDPierre, for a fun romp through Persnickety.
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Glory to Ukraine
Click on the image if you need to, to read all the text. Part 4 tomorrow!
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Glory to Ukraine
Click on the image if you need to, to read all the text. Part 3 tomorrow!
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Our good friend KDPierre wrote a fanciful description of a fantasy implement at our brunch some weeks ago. Inspired by his effort, he went on to create a story complete with excellent artwork, all in the style of Dr Seuss. I was impressed by his effort, and he has allowed me to share it with you here. It's quite long, so I'll be sharing it in four parts. Before you read part one, you may want to refresh your memory by reading his original description here.
Part Two tomorrow. I'm sorry some of the text on the right side is truncated, but I had to enlarge the images for ease of reading. You can click on the image to see it all.
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Glory to Ukraine
How have your spankings changed over time?
Wendel: The Misses has been naked the last few paddlings in the woods, so I guess we have gotten a bit braver. Other than that, spanking at home have remained the same.
Sage: It hasn't been that long for me, but I've bought all these new implements from Cane-iac, Etsy and Amazon. We keep experimenting to see how they work. They all feel different. We're trying implements in different positions, although mostly OTK. Some toys feel a lot different in wheelbarrow, or when I'm bending over a chair, than OTK. Just a lot of exploring and then staying more with those positions & toys that work well for both of us for erotic spanking.
Roz: I'm not sure the spankings themselves have really changed, but what does change is the reason behind them due to the ebb and flow and changes in our dynamic and the feelings, emotions behind them. Punishment, play, role affirmation etc.
Mary: The spankings themselves have not changed at all. Once a month, after
dinner on the first Friday, I clean up the kitchen and go up to our
bedroom and wait for my wife. After reviewing my behavior the past
month, I go over her knee. How hard I am spanked and for how long is
determined by her assessment of my behavior.
What has changed is
my behavior and my attitude. I am much better at taking care of the
house, I respect my wife's authority and I am eager to please her in
bed.
Most importantly, she looks at me lovingly as her helpmate.
Jack: In the beginning my wife used her hairbrush, her mother said the bath brush does a better job, trust me it does. She
decided also that when I need a spanking, which has always been over
her lap, never changed.
Early bed time really happened quickly.
Spanked
in front of others, my mother-in-law happened really at the first,
along with the fact my mother-in-law at her home did the spankings.
Others, well a couple of her best friends now see the spanking, or me facing the wall afterwards.
The
latest is the worst. I face not the wall, but her or who ever else is
present. I can be naked, or just having my pants and underpants around
my ankles, all on display, and that tells me I have really crossed the
line and been a very naughty little boy.
Barrel: Ours have changed on two fronts. First, the emotional connection. We
have morphed from purely foreplay, to tension relief for both of us. As
a dominant in my former business life, a long thrashing is a dam
breaker for me emotionally and a port for my wife to release tension I
have reluctantly gifted her. Finally, we have changed from just, OK…OTK
to a planned build up, orchestrated teasing, use of other toys that
culminate with bondage necessary for a long and intense thrashing.
It will be interesting to hear from others how theirs have changed.
Bonnie: I think our spankings have evolved a lot as we've moved through life. They tend to be less intense physically, but more intense psychologically. Randy has learned how to get inside my head and feed my kinks. By the time he's finished, I feel thoroughly punished.
Rosco: Well, it’s been over 40 years. Almost from the beginning, it’s been spanking followed by cunnilingus then intercourse.
Irene
paddled me hard with a hairbrush on our honeymoon in 1982, but we
stopped using one soon after. I remember being very nervous buying a
riding crop at a western store before you could buy such at a thing at a
sex shop or over the internet.
From 1985 til 2005 or so, our
sessions would often be nooners when the kids were at daycare or school.
Intense, wonderful and satisfying - but often a bit hurried.
When
our youngest went off to college, we started to take our time. Lots of
foreplay. Irene would spank me, leave, then return 20 minutes later and
start all over. She’ll dress up - yesterday she was a southern belle. I
buy Irene low cost dresses on the Internet - fun stuff that’s not her
normal personality but not the usual sex outfits. At some point we
started getting into bondage - it works for us but she’s not altogether
competent in strapping me down. We’ve experimented with many other
activities on the kinkier side - some things we do once or twice then
move on - like her peeing on me. Other things we incorporate from time
to time like ice cubes in my bottom.
These days, Irene uses a two
tailed leather strap, a leather paddle and a riding crop. She’s learned
not to strike the far hipbone and is usually a tad gentler when she
whips me between the legs.
We’re almost 70 and have these
passionate encounters about once a week. We take our time. In the old
days it was almost daily but done much more quickly.
Hermione: I think that what's really changed for me is my need for spanking. When we first got into it, I was almost desperate for it to happen. Over time, I have come to realize that I will always be spanked regularly, so no need to fret about it. Now I pretty much take it for granted, although there is still a feeling of anxious anticipation as the time approaches.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Welcome! Come on in, you're just in time for some lively conversation about spanking. Some of you may just be starting out on your spanko journey, and many of you have been at it for a long, long time. Either way, we'd like your feedback on this week's topic.
How have your spankings changed over time?
Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation. Thank you, Bonnie, for this week's topic.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Rosco: Heidi admired her own soft flesh in the mirror, knowing that Rosco was surreptitiously peeking through the keyhole. She'd catch the naughty boy in the act this time, and give him a sound thrashing. The prospect of delivering a spanking was oddly titillating, or maybe just titillating.
Prefectdt: I'm not naked. I just don't have any clothes on.
Barrel: If you want me to drop my towel, it will cost you. Hand me my hairbrush and bend over the couch.
Sage: OK. I'm ready. When my boyfriend walks into this room, I'll bet he's going to feel the urge to pull this cloth the rest of the way off of my butt and then spank me. I can hardly wait.
Sore: The alabaster bosom will soon bloom with his hurried bite marks. The
alabaster bottom will turn scarlet under the loving strokes of his
fashionably thin leather belt. She blushes at the naughty thought that
paints her alabaster cheeks the faintest shade of pink. Regretfully, the
photograph cannot capture colours.
Dear Hermione, may I use your lovely photograph?
Of course, help yourself :)
Roz: Well, my boobs are still sore from the crop last night but I can't see any marks.
KDPierre: Damned Amazon sent the wrong size skirt again.
Anon: After seeing me standing next to the bed like this, I can't believe the first thing he did was to put me over his knee and use that damned hairbrush on me. Now, given the way my bottom feels, I'm afraid to turn around and see what kind of damage he did back there.
Deja Vu: I have a divine right.
Ronnie: Bathed and ready for her.
Hermione: Does this wrap make my bum look big?
That was fun! For more fun, please join us for brunch, coming up soon.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Our local antique shop is a wonderful place, filled with all sorts of treasures. This vintage photo is a priceless peek into the past. Who is the woman, and what might she be thinking?
Complete the caption by leaving a comment below, and I'll publish them before our weekly brunch.
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Glory to Ukraine
Today is a double celebration: my blog and I are both one year older. The blog is 14, and I am...older than that :)
Thank you to all my dear readers who have supported me through the years. I couldn't have done it without you.
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Glory to Ukraine
How do we define ourselves?
Jack: I was looking for a woman who would take charge. I had could at times spend too much, get mad if I did not get my way. It was dating a older woman, the first time I was spanked as an adult by her, that the spanking hurt, but it brought relief, security. The woman I married, knew this older women, while dating I got out of line, was given the choice of ending the relationship or getting a spanking. I took the spanking knowing she would be easy on me. Boy was I wrong, she started with the hand, and then the hairbrush.
Dan: I have a hard time defining my role, too. I'm on the receiving end of spankings at home, and my wife and I have dipped our toes into a FLR dynamic. Yet, I'm not remotely submissive in temperament or in my day-to-day relationships. At heart, I am a Type A, dominant personality that, as a result of those tendencies, feels a strong need to give up control at home and to be accountable to someone (my wife) in a way that is very different from my usual role.
Rosco: If I knew the term, I would have called myself a switch.
I
administered one very successful spanking in 1969 which preceded my
first trips to 1st and 3rd base - Martha encouraged me to skip 2nd base.
What a night that was.
In the 1970s, the few times I tried to introduce spanking were unsuccessful and I was pretty discouraged and hesitant to ask.
I
started dating Irene in 1980. We had a great honest relationship from
the onset. When I mentioned spanking, she seemed surprised, and said
she’d give it a try but she would be the one doing the spanking and had
no interest receiving one.
My interest in being the top has
pretty much evaporated over the past 44 years, but I enjoy being spanked
as much as ever. If I wasn’t married, and were with a particularly
bratty woman I’d probably think about spanking her but I’ve pretty much
settled into being the spankee.
KDPierre: Submission can have many faces besides just taking a spanking. And even
then, the type of spanking one is willing to accept is also open to
personal needs and taste. Like Dan, I am not what people expect when
one thinks "submissive male". In fact when we came out to a few friends,
they weren't as surprised at the kink as much as who was in each role.
However, for us, our roles are a perfect fit.
Now as to the 'why'
of it all? Well, for me, I know I can be many things...most of them
good...but others a bit frustrating for those around me. I also find
that besides enjoying spanking for fun, I sincerely benefit from
deserved punishments. They ground and balance me, and help with guilt.
(They also give Rosa (and others) an outlet for their feelings). I, like
others have admitted, have fallen into such a role with women who
learned that not only was such a lifestyle empowering for them, but that
it worked! Any hesitation or concerns disappeared as they found they
could address something that bothered them and rather than me feeling
resentment, I would sincerely apologize, and try to improve. It didn't
take long for the Tops in my life to realize the emotional and practical
benefits of using spanking as a household management tool!
But I
am also sexually submissive and it has been decades since I had an
orgasm that wasn't formally approved by another. In fact I associate the
physical pleasure and release of orgasm with the final asking of
permission to come and hearing Rosa grant it. Since I am 'holding back'
until that permission is given, the granting of it and the subsequent
sensations have been inextricably linked for so long that I can't
imagine "just having an orgasm". It would seem...diminished or
incomplete.
And I think the "why" for this level of submission to
the will of another is not the same as it is for spanking. I believe
for me, making myself an exception to the usual rule of everyone being
entitled to free orgasms whenever, I feel my role is reinforced, my
status and pride healthily diminished, and the actual orgasmic
experience elevated to something rare, special, and powerful.
As
you can see, both are different, yet combined? Living a lifestyle where
my spouse can feel free to not only govern the household, but to feel no
obligation to granting orgasms unless she feels they are deserved,
establishes a very real world of 'reward and punishment' for me. And for
me, that is a good thing and makes everything better, including ...and
perhaps especially...my own behavior.
Hermione: I am naturally submissive, just as Ron is naturally dominant. That is reflected in both spanking and vanilla activities. I didn't decide to be this way; I just am.
Sage Blum: I can see how if you are a female spanko, who wants to be a spankee, or a
male spanko who wants to be the spanker, then traditional gender roles
of dominant male/submissive female seem to fit. So you go that
route--maybe even extra dominant/extra submissive to try to help your
success in the dating world, in finding a compatible partner.
Although
in my particular relationship they don't fit. My partner and I were
attracted to each other partly due to our independence. There's no
consistent dominance or submission on the part of either of us--either
in the bedroom or elsewhere. And once I finally got the courage to ask,
spanking fit into our relationship just fine. Because it's all
"foreplay" to him. If he were a spanko, maybe he would be a switch.
For
most female spankees and male spankers, I guess traditional gender
roles seem like they're not broke. So you don't fix them. Maybe you even
accentuate them. But for male spankees and female spankers, traditional
gender roles do seem broke. So you fix them.
It sounds like it's all a matter of us doing things that we think can get our needs met, whatever those needs may be.
For me and my partner, traditional roles seemed broken, because we both
grew up in a strict religion. And both in the religious schools we
attended, and at home, gender roles and other hierarchical roles seemed
arbitrary and broken. Also, the idea of deserved punishment was foreign.
Punishments were arbitrary. We never believed that we or others we knew
who were punished, deserved it--or that anyone was punishing anyone out
of love. I realize now that that can sometimes be true, though it still
seems somewhat foreign to me.
So all that seemed broken to us.
Which is why we choose to relate through frequent feedback, exploration,
communication and negotiation. Which is not for everyone, of course.
Just our way of fulfilling our own needs.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Welcome, one and all, to the first spanko brunch for the month of March. Today's topic was suggested last week by Sage Blum, one of our newest brunch guests and fairly new to spanking. I hope you can give her some good advice.
I am curious about people who are dominant or submissive. What draws people to these roles? Since neither of us is consistently in a role, I don't even know what, if anything, my partner and I should call ourselves.
Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
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