While browsing in one of my favourite home furnishings stores, I saw this lovely bamboo spanking paddle spatula. It's beautiful to look at, sturdy, and produces a nice sharp noise when... (Yes, I did try it on my palm when I hope no one was looking!)
I was shopping with an older female relative, and while buying the paddle might not have raised any eyebrows, I might have been questioned about why I needed more utensils for the kitchen. So I decided I wouldn't do it, and told myself the usual. Didn't need it. Had enough implements. Too expensive.
The next day, I was driving past the store, alone this time. Well, I wasn't exactly going past it to begin with, but it wasn't too far out of my way. I had a few minutes to spare, so I pulled into the parking lot, headed inside and wandered over to the kitchen department.
No one had bought the lovely paddle. It was still there. I picked it up, stroked it, hefted it for weight, and checked the price tag. It was smooth, solid, a decent weight, and not very pricey after all.
Lying on the shelf above was a pair of bamboo salad tossing implements. Mmmm, just the right size for.... And the wooden fingers would feel so nice....
At that point, my willpower dissolved and I scooped them up as well, then headed purposefully toward the checkout. The next time Ron suggests salad for lunch, we might have quite an adventure!
Here's the other side of that wicked wooden pasta paddle. (Thank you, Dr. Ken, for providing the perfect name.) As you can see (and click on the image to enlarge it if you can't) the other purpose of the holey horror is to measure uncooked spaghetti. That's why I chose this one. The other one didn't have the measurements printed on it.
Most of you came up with the correct answer. There are a lot of pasta lovers out there! Some of the other guesses were pretty creative:
- tool used to make butter or cheese
Because I've always been a mouse lover, I want to share Mr. C's response with you.
This is a very close copy of the one found at Quidenham Monastery in Norfolk.
That one was fancier and gilded, but this looks a nice plain example.
This is indeed a pet mouse sizer. If the mouse can pass through the smallest hole then the naughty monk has been underfeeding his furry pet. On the other hand if the mouse cannot pass through the largest hole, it is mousy diet time. The other holes are simply to keep an eye on mouse girth gain, or MGG as it is known.
Ahhh, the joys of monastic mouse keeping.
This implement will be so useful in our kitchen. I usually grab a handful of spaghetti, think it doesn't look like enough, then toss in more. And more. Ron does the same when he cooks. We always end up with leftovers.
Maybe we could start a new ritual for pasta night. I measure the spaghetti and put it in the pot. Then Ron spanks me with the wooden measurer until I think the spaghetti is done. He tosses a strand against the wall, and if it sticks, we eat. If it doesn't, I get paddled for an extra minute or two.
But what if we get carried away and the pasta ends up overcooked?
Here's my latest treasure from a large thrift store that's right on my way home. There were two, but I didn't want a pair of them--one will be more than enough--so I chose this one. Why? There's a reason, and you'll find out in my next post.
It looks like this paddle might deliver quite a wallop to my backside. But what else can it do? It has a vanilla purpose too, and I think it will come in quite handy, but I'll leave that up to you.
What will is this lovely wooden paddle be used for, besides spanking?
I'll let everyone have time to guess and will then I'll reveal the truth in a day or so.
Some months ago I told you about an especially frightening pervertible that lives in our kitchen.
The last time I visited my dentist, he noticed that one of my front teeth, which had been repaired several years ago, seemed to be weakening. "Be careful eating baguettes," he cautioned me. How did he know?
When I got home, I paraphrased the warning and told Ron I wasn't able to eat baguettes any more, so we might as well give away our baguette board.
Too bad, but dental care is expensive.
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