Friday FAIL

As bloggers, we all get our share of spam comments. Blogger and other blogging platforms are pretty efficient at detecting spam and isolating it in a separate folder instead of allowing it to be published.

Here are some of the doozies that I found in my Spam folder recently. They'll really make you scratch your head.

• Or you win squirrel away hydraulic technician resume that set-up, you are acquiescent to go. The Missing with louder than your is not an idolized epigram that has a rather esoteric meaning. sales consultant resume cover letter 

The best way to apply for a job

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Sounds like plagiarism to me

• best people have intercourse twice a week 'Quality victories around a lot number exactly what. is going on the satisfaction.' He began to spellout the fact that the mediocre couple is carrying making love on behalf of 7.3 time when and that it is not always good enough females, whom are apt to much more compared persons to climaxing. he still ends in letting you know which experts claim adult men taking as few as two calling, Or beyond what 40, To male orgasms should evaluate venturing his gynecologists.

An online sex manual

• Man drops dead for seriously chased by way of apprehended policeman inspired couple at a distance thai sexual acts maritime police reveal an individuals in being young : at home by yourself pop, the length of his as a rule renowned aspect hardly ever made a deal with clear credit card bills 

Keep your credit cards under control

• You from unmistakable, escape of dissertations including, equalize college, who are experiencing resources with their math homework can relish some. His english and hes a standout kid, not disruptive, but not oddments reading contain a go at steel fixer resume schoolboy, either. 

Go to the head of the class

• The galvanizing mooring come-on of the flagyl unceasing ingredients is to prompt the bump and reinforce mane follicles and shafts from the restricted, innards them with vitality.

A surefire cure for hair loss

• Inimitable torment toward the profit of legs trial from veins problems containing troxerutin and extracts of horse chestnut, gingko biloba and battleaxe hazel. Has a kilo not sad preventing action. Eases the nervousness in the legs including black legs syndrome as sufficiently as unpleasant burning.

And one for varicose veins

• After series of buyer interviews and a corner of scrutinization into the products hoard altercation, we be subjected to possibility gamble upon up with the unexcelled noggin massagers in the industry.

Can I buy one on Amazon?

• A stressful nicely being fad which sun light swap delicacies, That the women in far east may be a lot more obsessive about losing fat than in other countries is not truly a revelation, due to odd patterns including belly tab crisis and the collarbone that identified an individuals cool ever before. at this time just another development also has captured an super duper. As peculiar as seems, mothers become trying out the sun's rays as a replacement for nourishment. For women who live been spotted staring symmetrical at the sun in the fact that it will replace their fact that food together with increase their eye and doze higher

The latest fad diet

Wasn't that fun?

Spam, spam, spam, eggs and spam

Thanks to the Blogger spam filters I haven't had more than a trickle of spam lately. But here are some oldies that I saved for you.

These comments are written as requests for technical help, hoping I will fall for the ruse.

I'm not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I'm thinking about creating my own but I'm not sure where to start. Do you have any tips or suggestions?

I'm curious to find out what blog platform you're using? I'm having some small security problems with my latest site and I'd like to find something more safe.

Do you have a spam issue on this site; I also am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation;

Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with Search Engine Optimization?

Nice blog here! Also your site loads up very fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?

Hey there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing months of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have any methods to protect against hackers?

What's up, I desire to subscribe for this website to obtain newest updates, so where can i do it please assist.

These spammers go a bit farther and try to convince me that there is something wrong with my blog. Perhaps you've received similar "warnings":

When I originally commented I clicked the "Notify me when new comments are added" checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Cheers!

Hey there just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the images aren't loading properly. I'm not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I've tried it in two different web browsers and both show the same outcome.

Hmm it appears like your blog ate my first comment.

Currently it appears like Movable Type is the preferred blogging platform available right now. (from what I've read) Is that what you're using on your blog?

I did however expertise several technical issues using this website, as I experienced to reload the website a lot of times previous to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK?

Hey, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.

Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thanks, However I am going through difficulties with your RSS. I don't know the reason why I am unable to join it. Is there anyone else having similar RSS issues?

Finally, here's a collection of spammy comments telling me how useful my blog is for their workplace. Unless they are employed in a dungeon, I doubt that my spanking posts will help them write their weekly reports.

It is often very terrific plus jam-packed with amusement for me personally and my office co-workers to visit your site nearly 3 times a week to learn the newest items you have got.

Thank you for every other great article. Where else may just anyone get that type of info in such an ideal way of writing? I've a presentation next week, and I'm on the look for such information.

What's Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It absolutely useful and it has aided me out loads. I am hoping to give a contribution & assist other customers like its helped me. Good job.

Say What?

More from the wonderful world of spammers.

These spam messages I have categorized as Huh? What are they trying to say? Some look to be written in other languages and translated into English (of a sort) while others are just plain weird.

The grandness of Alimentation labels comes into play when you're devising to be able-bodied to make an indelible commencement notion on your customer. Moving on to Joseph crosswise the street, I lust after a disastrous trench with the great unwashed giving up music?

What a stuff of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious know-how on the topic of unexpected emotions.

supply ourselves with the funding cipher. In its robust mix of success books from beginners to the SBA lend self-confidence programs. Online improve through online mood. net is the influence too, with the unbroken skills and you pay the owe, the postulate of the secrets of property you either acquire finance furnish ourselves with the financing serve. In its people mix of big books from beginners to the SBA loan statement programs. Online back up through online modal value.

Internet is the period too, with the undefiled skills and you pay the owe, the price of the secrets of period of time you either buy

 This next one is just plain bizarre. Google Translate, you failed!

A endmost sprog asked his affront: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The broken-down lady tried to proportion down to account this injure to backsheesh her daughters: “It is because of you, dear. Every depreciating hooch of yours kindly wrongdoing a precise of my hairs cloudy!”
The newborn replied innocently: “At united then I be sensible why grandmother has on the other dole unconscious erudite hairs on her head.”

Then there was the spam message that consisted of an extensive list of gibberish. Below I have reproduced a small selection from the original list of over 50.

dulaRateGlild
VomsBessGex
Amerrymer
TobaeropLoorn
JalTeliaerole
cymnDeems
futttadsMathy
Dwewrilia
TrorStareesob
nakyDaccade
Tutassogs
Utinariance
TeaniennaDole
embottepoiste
seelrymes
DembabClele
Quefafefent
Snoggitoswilt
UnonaZesnor
Avatryerelt
EnveveMip
Gratrygab
floucourl

If you haven't already done so, you still have time to Complete the Caption.

Not just for breakfast

We all get our share of spammy comments on our blogs, and sometimes I think I'm getting way more than my fair share. Still, there are some comments that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside; that is, until I see that the comment includes a link to knock-off perfumes, discount drugs, cheap holidays, or other nonsense.

If I truly believed these spammers, my head would be very large indeed. But I know that these comments are made on thousands of blogs, so I take them for what they're worth - nothing.  Here are a few of the most complimentary ones. As you read them, keep in mind that they are referring to a spanking blog, and enjoy!

Excellent website. Lots of helpful information here. I am sending it to a few friends ans additionally sharing in delicious. And of course, thank you for your sweat!

I delight in, result in I discovered exactly what I was having a look for. You have ended my 4 day lengthy hunt!

I am glad for commenting to make you be aware of of the great discovery my wife's princess had studying your site. She came to find a good number of issues, which include how it is like to have an ideal coaching mood to get certain people clearly comprehend a number of extremely tough subject matter. You actually exceeded readers' expectations.

Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.

I must thank you for the efforts you've put in writing this site. I am hoping to see the same high-grade blog posts from you later on as well.

I'm impressed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog that's equally educative and engaging, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head.

It's a pity you don't have a donate button! I'd most certainly donate to this excellent blog! I guess for now i'll settle for bookmarking

It's amazing to go to see this web page and reading the views of all mates about this piece of writing, while I am also zealous of getting experience.

Terrific work! That is the type of information that are supposed to be shared around the web. Shame on the seek engines for no longer positioning this submit higher!

Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I'm impressed! Extremely useful information specially the remaining phase :) I handle such information a lot. I was seeking this certain information for a long time.

This website was... how do you say it? Relevant! ! Finally I've found something which helped me. Thanks!

On the flip side, many of the spammers try the opposite tack. They complain and criticize in the hopes that I will respond to defend myself (and in the process perhaps I might buy some fake designer handbags or male member enlargers). All spelling and grammar errors have been retained (aargh!)

The very next time I read a blog, I hope that it won't disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read through, but I actually thought you'd have something useful to say. All I hear is a bunch of crying about something that you could possibly fix if you were not too busy seeking attention.

I do not even understand how I finished up right here, but I believed this post used to be good.

I was curious if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?

Thank you, I have recently been searching for info approximately this subject for a while and yours is the best I have discovered till now. But, what in regards to the conclusion? Are you sure in regards to the supply?

naturally like your website however you have to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very troublesome to tell the truth

I believe what you said made a bunch of sense. However, what about this? suppose you added a little information? I mean, I don't wish to tell you how to run your blog, however what if you added something to maybe get people's attention? I mean "Spam and spankings" is kinda boring. You might add a video or a related pic or two to get readers interested about what you've written. In my opinion, it would bring your blog a little bit more interesting.

I do consider all the concepts you've introduced on your post. They're really convincing and can definitely work. Still, the posts are too quick for beginners. May just you please prolong them a bit from subsequent time?

You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me.

Spelling mistakes? I don't think so! Spam and spankings boring? Oh well, you win some and you lose some.

Spam

This blog receives its share of spammy comments each day. I don't have CAPTCHA word verification on because it's so annoying, but the Blogger spam filters are very good at identifying a spam comment and directing it to the spam folder instead of publishing it. You see, I have trained the filters to recognize spam. I don't simply delete a comment if it appears on a blog post; I mark it as spam first, then delete it. Identifying a comment as spam trains the spam filters, and they quickly learn what constitutes spam on my blog.
 
Red discussed the spam problem here and I agree they a nuisance to readers who subscribe to comments and end up reading this garbage. Not even word verification plus filters can prevent the spam from coming through via email. Sorry about that!

I have comment moderation on for posts over 14 days old, and if a specific older post seems to be a target, I will turn off comments on that post.

For your amusement, here are a few of the simpler spam comments I have seen in the past. They're short, sweet and quite generic.


Great post. See my blog. [URL for Rolex watches]

Nice blog. You make a good point. [URL for Ugg boots]

Appreciate this post. Let me try it out. [URL for the little blue pill]

This is an amazing business opportunity. [URL for enlarging a body part I don't even have]


Then there are the ones that have a bit more detail in them. Still obviously generic, but might possibly be mistaken for sincere comments were it not for the inclusion of a link to some unrelated web page. They're fun to read when you keep in mind that they have been left on a spanking blog. I have made no effort to fix the shaky grammar.


I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often. [URL for job seeking]

I am satisfied to seek out so many useful information here within the put up, we want develop more strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. [URL for more Ugg boots]

I havе been browsіng online greаter than 3 hourѕ nowadays, уet I never founԁ аny fascinatіng article likе yours. It's pretty value sufficient for me. In my view, if all site owners and bloggers made just right content material as you did, the internet shall be much more helpful than ever before. [URL for increasing website traffic]

At this time I am ready to do my breakfast, once having my breakfast coming yet again to read other news. [URL for online dating]

This one's my all-time favourite.


Thank you for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do some research about this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I'm very glad to see such excellent information being shared freely out there. [URL for - you guessed it - Ugg boots]


I can imagine the spammer and his neighbour doing spanking research at the library.


The next one is an example of overkill. The spammer seems to have strung together a bunch of unrelated spammy comments that could each stand alone. Why? For effect? To give the impression of having really read the blog? Or maybe to fool the filters. Anyway, here it is, and remember, it was left as a single comment. I couldn't resist adding my own comments in [square brackets].


Woah! I'm really loving the template/theme of this blog. It's simple, yet effective. A lot of times it's very difficult to get that "perfect balance" between superb usability and visual appearance. I must say you've done a superb job with this. In addition, the blog loads super quick for me on Internet explorer. Outstanding Blog! [2 URLs to unknown sites]

Hi! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group? There's a lot of folks that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Thank you [Myspace? Really?  This is the 21th century!

Hey I am so glad I found your site, I really found you by accident, while I was browsing on Digg for something else, [You were looking for Harry Potter, am I right?] Anyways I am here now and would just like to say many thanks for a fantastic post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don't have time to look over it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, [2 more URLs here]

Please do keep up the great job. I like what you guys are up also. Such clever work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it'll improve the value of my web site :) [There's nothing like a link to a spanking blog to raise the value of a spam blog.]

Hello just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren't loading properly. I'm not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I've tried it in two different browsers and both show the same outcome. There are certainly a variety of details like that to take into consideration. That could be a nice point to convey up. [There's nothing wrong with the pictures but this statement might have grabbed my attention if it wasn't part of a comment flood.]

I offer the thoughts above as general inspiration however clearly there are questions just like the one you bring up the place an important factor will be working in sincere good faith. I don't know if best practices have emerged around things like that, [Yes, we have best practices in spanking as in everything else] however I'm certain that your job is clearly recognized as a good game. [Huh? Spanking is neither a job nor a game] Both girls and boys really feel the influence of only a second’s pleasure, for the remainder of their lives. [Spanking children isn't allowed here.]

So here's the final word on spam, from George and Gracie:

Moving Day

Recently I received an odd request in my inbox. It was from a website interested in exchanging links with me. Now, I am happy to link to other spanking sites, but not so eager to link to vanilla ones. The website in question was for a moving company. I was invited to suggest the category my blog's link might fall under. Alas, I didn't see a suitable category, except perhaps the ever-popular "miscellaneous".

Why would a moving company want to link to a spanking blog? Do they provide expert assistance in packing and moving canes, paddles and straps? Do they guarantee the dismantling and reassembling of dungeon apparatus? Will they assure the customer that all roleplay outfits will be transported in plain brown wardrobe boxes?

Or maybe they want to be able to reassure clients that no matter where they move to, there will always be like-minded individuals there to welcome them.

I declined the offer.

Job Opportunities with S&M

Among the spam in my email inbox was an invitation to visit a website for information on job opportunities. it wasn't the usual nonsense; the email came from a reputable source, and the link was to a Canadian company offering flexible hours working with well-known brands of products.

Curiosity got the better of me so I clicked. And ended up on an SM site!

No, not an S&M* site as we know it, but I thought for a moment it might have been. The home page extended an invitation to join the SM team and enjoy my day. Among the temptations were a perfect job that fits my schedule, an ideal life/work balance, a chance to build new relationships, and positions to suit everyone. There was a page called the SM community, that had a picture of the SM fan of the month, a calendar of events, a collage of happy smiling faces, and a community blog.

What am I waiting for?

* SM stands for Sales & Merchandising, but they omitted the & for obvious reasons.