Spank On!

After I published this post last week about the Spank shop being closed, my friend René sent me a followup. He wrote:

After I saw "my" picture this morning I just knew I had to find the other stores.  Success,  I found two of them, one more is in another part of the city.  No extra service is provided but one store has an upstairs marked For staff only (?).

And by the way, they answer the phone with "Spank Clothing".  Presumably with emphasis on "Clothing".

Here's his proof that Spank is alive and well in other locations.

 I wonder if some "extra service" might be provided in that upstairs room. But is it for customers or for inefficient or rude staff? It's an intriguing thought.

No More Spanks

Last year my friend René sent me news of a store on the west coast called Spank. Yesterday he gave me the sad news that the store had closed.

Their Facebook page still seems to be active so let's hope that only one of their several locations has closed. It would be a shame to lose a shop with such an appealing name.

The Spank Prank

Be sure to watch all the way to the end.

Spank that Robot

From time to time we see various machines that are designed to spank humans. Now the tables are turned. Reuters News reports that a Japanese inventor has created a robot that responds to spanking.

Nobuhiro Takahashi called his creation "Shiri" which means "butt" in Japanese. Shiri responds with different emotions to different human touches.

The inventor hopes to use the prototype to develop responses that can be applied to other parts of a robot's body, in particular the face, to help with non-verbal communication. He decided to develop his technology with a bottom because its movements are large and make it easier to convey emotion.

"I wanted to try and use a butt to reflect emotions - fear, joy and relaxation," he explained.

To get a robot to show fear, Takahashi spanks it.

"Fear is a very human - very living - emotion, so it's expressed with force, with a spank." The robot bottom responds by quivering. A slow wobble is the sign for relaxation, while a gentle stroke causes clenches that signal pleasure.

See for yourself.  It's pretty amazing!

Spanked by a Kitteh

First Aid

Last week I had an appointment and was running late. In my rush to get ready, I hadn't fastened my BlackBerry securely to my belt, and just before I left the office, it slipped off and fell into, um, some water. Never mind the details, okay? It was a small body of water. Use your imagination. And yes, I was tempted to walk away and leave it there.

Anyway, I fished it out, pulled the BlackBerry out of its holster and wiped it dry. It was blank. I removed the battery, dried it off, and put it back in. The device made a sizzling sound, flashed briefly, and died.

I was seriously worried; I knew that I would not be allowed to have a replacement. I depended on that little gadget to stay in touch with my virtual world, and now my carelessness had cost me my umbilical cord.

Then there was that appointment I still had to go to. I hopped into the car and hurried to the clinic. After checking in with the receptionist I was ushered into a small examining room, and soon a friendly technician came in and asked me how I was.

"Fine," I gave my standard response. Then I reconsidered. "No, I'm not fine at all. I just drowned my BlackBerry and I'm very upset." This was a medical office; no point in concealing the truth.

"Oh," said the technician, "that happened to my son's cellphone. I called the service provider's hotline and they told me to put it in a bag of raw rice. The next day, it was right as rain."

I could have kissed her! During the next half hour I was oblivious to whatever discomfort I might otherwise have experienced; all I could think about was the location of the nearest grocery store. As soon as I was dismissed, I drove there and bought a bag of regular, raw rice and some ziptop bags. Right there in the car, I poured some rice into a bag, added the BlackBerry, then the battery, and topped it up with more rice. Then I headed back to work. From time to time during the day I turned the bag and massaged it, kept my fingers crossed, and hoped for a miracle.

The next morning, I pulled my device out of its plastic sleeping bag, spanked the rice grains out of it, inserted the battery and held my breath. Then I heard the welcome beep and saw the message "initializing device". There was the menu! Those little icons had never looked so beautiful!

My BlackBerry still rattles when I shake it, but it works like a charm, and I never had to confess my carelessness. Except to you, but I know you won't tell and get me in trouble.

Spank the Virgin

While decluttering a drawer full of old papers, I came across a page torn from a newspaper dated August, 1996. The article I had saved was about a new game (CD-ROM version) based on the movie Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail, and the heading promised that "Pythons leave in naughty bits..." No wonder I had saved the article, even though I never bought the game.

I quickly skimmed the text. The specific naughty bit was based on the knights' visit to Castle Anthrax, and the sex-starved ladies therein. After you have navigated to that place, according to the article, you have the opportunity to play the "highly politically incorrect game called Spank the Virgin, a description of which is perhaps best left to the imagination".

Ooh! I can imagine!



I found a very old review of the game here.

Here's a fun reminder of one of my other favourite parts of the movie. Now, if I only had an audio of coconut shells horses' hooves...