There's an app for that

The Magic Butt is an interactive wallpaper for Android that lets you imagine you’re touching - and spanking - a lady’s bare bottom.

Friday FAIL

This picture appeared on Failblog, but I don't think it's a fail at all. It's perfectly true, don't you think?

Dead Butt Syndrome

Recently I read an article about the sorts of injuries you can get if you're a dedicated runner. Each injury had a specific name, and here they are:

Overtraining Syndrome
Runner's Anemia
Snapping Hip
Dead Butt Syndrome

Say what?

That last one is an inflammation of the tendons in the gluteus maximus, caused by having weak glutes. Runners who don't cross-train are prone to it.

The symptoms are a sharp pain in the hip, and discomfort sitting for long periods.

The cure is to cut back on running and do strengthening exercises. Deep tissue massage is recommended to break up the scar tissue and increase blood flow to the buttocks.

That's very intriguing, since the syndrome sounds very much like the after-effects of a good spanking. My butt is usually numb, and I experience the same symptoms.

As for the cure, "deep tissue massage" is probably a euphemism for spanking.

Where are my Nikes?

It's Watching You

Bum looker!

Complete the Caption

You're walking along a quiet street in the evening. You happen to glance at the window of a house as you pass by. But what's that? Is it really a bare bottom, or is the streetlight playing tricks? Whatever could be going on inside?

Complete the caption, either as a comment or in an email, and when I post your contributions I'll tell you where this picture came from.
 

Love your Bottom

It's the only one you'll ever have.

Bare Bottom Sighting

Or is it?

Do You Need Glasses?

Look carefully at the picture below.

Did you see the bare bottom of the girl in the back?



If you did, then go have your eyes checked. It's actually the shoulder of the girl in front of her.

A Well-Executed Smack

see more Hawtness

Why does Jell-o come to mind? A big "thank you" to Ron who sent me this little beauty. I told him a lot of other bloggers would be posting this picture too, but it's so nice I couldn't resist.  When it comes to smacks, the more the merrier.

You Completed the Caption

I knew this intriguing picture would generate some off-the-wall captions. Here they are:


Bogey and Bacall - He has stepped away for a minute and she thinks it will be fun to hide. Of course, she knows she will pay for her mock rebellion.

Mitch - He'll never find the paddle in that pile, but I better scram anyway.

Ronnie - I thought it would be a good time to escape my spanking but now I'm in big trouble, I'm stuck and I can hear him coming.

Mick - Me escape? I was just looking for your favorite paddle, sir.

Prefectdt - Stay here and get a warmed back side or escape and freeze outside? Oh I do wish that I had remembered to bring some clothes!

Red - It looks like the daughter of Santa Claus, coming to bring you a pre-Christmas present.

Michael - Why do we have to hide the toys up here? We could keep them in a chest in the bedroom like everyone else.


Hermione - I've got to change into my my blue socks before he gets back. Now where did I put them?

A what on my where?

What does Speedy Gonzales - the fastest mouse in all Mexico - have to do with spanking? Read on.

Ron and I were engaged in our favourite activity last weekend. Due to unforseen circumstances, we had had to postpone my bottom-warmings a couple of times. Now Ron was making up for the neglect, and I was struggling to remember why it was that I liked spankings. This one really hurt. My poor bottom had become soft and tender with the absence of regular attention, and now an ordinary spanking felt like a real humdinger!

Ron could clearly see that I wasn't up to the usual menu of swats that he normally delivers.

"You've got a blood blister." He patted me and motioned for me to get up. But I didn't want it to end so soon, in spite of the discomfort. I stayed put and hoped things would soon become more enjoyable.

After a couple of half-hearted swats, Ron put down the paddle. "You've had enough." Then, as he saw me reach around behind, "can you feel it"?

"Yes. Did you do that? With that paddle?" There was definitely a large raised area on my right cheek.

"Yep. I did it with the Big Bopper" Ron is a fifties music fan, and had renamed our most-used leather implement to suit his taste in music.

I giggled, then tried again. "I mean, was it there before you started?" I was hoping Ron wouldn't decide that I was no longer up to taking the kind of spanking I had always enjoyed up till now.

"No."

I pulled on panties and shorts, and rubbed my bottom thoughtfully. Maybe I needed some aloe vera. Maybe I can't handle this any more. Maybe I'm too ol.......

Later, as I sat uncomfortably on the couch beside Ron, trying to watch whatever was on TV, but actually attempting to find a non-painful position, my husband turned to me and, in his best Speedy Gonzales accent, said, "How's the bleester on your keister?"

As we laughed together, I knew that he wasn't at all put off by my slight injury, and would do his best to toughen up my bottom again.



My keister will soon be back in shape for a good old-fashioned spanking. And who knows? Ron may start a new career as a stand-up comedian.

Wednesday WIN

This week I'm showing you a product that could equally qualify as a Friday FAIL. Called Cool Shapes, they are shorts with several pockets to hold ice packs. The idea is that you put a frozen pack in the pocket on your tummy, your hips, and your bottom. Then the fat supposedly freezes off, leaving you slim and trim.

Yes, you would literally "freeze your butt off"! So why is it a Wednesday WIN? The possibility of wearing these shorts after a vigorous bottom-warming was too good not to share as the positive feature of this garment.

Spanked by a Kitteh

Wednesday WIN

These are the perfect solution to uneven spankings, and will put an end to those "too many on the right side" complaints! The alternating left-right blinkers guide the spanker to the appropriate cheek to strike next. Great for beginners!

Spankable?

Quite possibly. At the very least, she deserves a good spanking for going out in public like that. The very idea!

But why is the fellow behind her looking elsewhere?

Lopsided

When my husband Ron gets into spanko mode, it takes a while for him to resume normal non-spanking activities. Take last week, for example. He had given my bottom some very generous attention, and I was still feeling the after effects several hours later. Ron surprised me by bestowing a very sound swat on my left cheek as he passed me on his way out the back door to check on the barbecue. That same side received a similar slap as he came back in.

"Ow! That side is getting too much attention. I'm starting to feel lopsided."

"Which one?" Whack. "That one?" Ron asked innocently.

"Ow. Yes, you're giving that side too many whacks," I complained.

"Too bad."

Five minutes later, as I was setting the table, Ron passed me on the way to the fridge for more barbecue sauce. My back was turned and I didn't see the attack coming.

Whack! Whack! Whack! Three solid swats landed on the neglected right side.

"There. Is that better? Do they feel even?" Ron inquired, full of fake concern.

"Ow, yeah, that's fine," I agreed, and backed away.

But Ron wasn't quite through. After a struggle with the sauce bottle top, he turned to the sink and rinsed his hands, then proceeded to rub them vigorously on my cotton-clad rear to dry them off. He couldn't help throwing in a few pats to remove any lingering water drops.

"Mmmm. You make a good towel," he muttered.

"Glad to be of use to you," I replied.

And that still wasn't all. Later, the long barbecue tongs were applied to my seat before they were used on the chicken. (Note to self: spanked with metal! Blog about this.)

It's funny how much additional attention my bottom gets in the hours after a spanking. I'm not complaining, but I sure wish that attention could be spread out a little over the week. Maybe a bit less when I'm tender, and a lot more as time heals the soreness and I'm starting to eagerly anticipate the next round of bottom-warming. The day before one would be the best time for a good preview of the hard swats soon to follow.

But I won't be asking Ron to stop those unexpected but ill-timed flurries of attention to my bottom any time soon. I appreciate his enthusiasm.

Is Your Bottom on Fire?

Cool that burn.

Wednesday WIN

No explanation is needed here. These products are both WINs.

Global Warming

These globes are ready for it.

The Eve of All Hallows

Happy Hallowe'en!