Friday FUN

A few more bathroom signs for your amusement.

A big thank you to Ron for providing these pictures.

Complete the Caption

This photo made me laugh! What is he thinking? How long do you think this relationship will last?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment and I will publish your Dear John letters on Saturday.

From the Top Shelf - More Brandy

We are back at Hope Hall for another installment from Hall of Infamy by Amanita Virosa.A lot of brandy seems to be consumed at the Hall, and Jamie isn't the only one who enjoys it.

It had been late when Lucy had been summoned to serve brandy in Lord Alexander's private study. Lady Alicia was elsewhere; no doubt finding new ways to vex her little blonde maid in her boudoir. Usually Lucy would consider this to be a favourable situation. If she was alone with Lord Alex, even if she had to endure a whipping, there was more chance that he would screw her afterwards and thus she would attain some measure of relief before being pinioned for the night. A good chance but, unfortunately, no guarantee.

That night, he had read for a long while, sipping brandy and smoking a cigar as she stood to one side, silently awaiting her master's pleasure. The Marquis had been perusing the very latest work, delivered by the author himself, the Reverend Dawes. This volume was a collection of improving anecdotes entitled Bridled Lust - The Suppression of Vice in Nubility, From Chastity Belts to Chastisement. From time to time, Lord Alex had jocularly read out passages that took his fancy , or informed the maid of what he considered an especially interesting fact.

"I say, listen to this, Lucy, my pet! 'When Dr Fergus MacCuip was appointed governor of the penal colony on the island of Latigazo, he was shocked to find the female prisoners greatly addicted to self-abuse.' "

He had paused and turned to look directly at Lucy, who had dropped her gaze demurely. "Rather like you, eh, you little monkey?" Lord Alex laughed and Lucy had been unable to stop the blush spreading across her cheeks.

" 'He was at a loss as to how to control this vice, as he found that whipping the culprits only stimulated them to more urgent need to masturbate.' Ha, we know all about that particular phenomenon, do we not, Miss Nimble Fingers? Perhaps he should have had them trussed up at night - like you, eh, my girl? That would have stopped the vixens' tricks, I'll warrant."

Lord Alex had taken another sip of brandy before returning to his passage. " 'Until one day he treated a cook who had inadvertently rubbed her eye after preparing a dish with the island's famous diablo peppers, a fearsome local variety of the haberno, widely respected for its blistering ferocity. Even though the girl had washed her hands before touching her eye, it had swollen painfully. That night he made the girls in his charge chop up peppers. Then they were sent to bed. A few minutes later the howls of agony from the first culprit rent the tropical night. Then the next girl sang out and then the next. Dr MacCuip sat and listened with satisfaction to the symphony of shrieks as he laid his plans for making chili sauce production a mainstay of the penal colony's economy.' "

Again Lord Alex had paused and taken a pull on his cigar.

" 'The product was a great success. It was called Firefinger Sauce, and to this day features a dusky maid with watering eyes on the label.' "

There could be only one eventual result of Lord Alex reading such material. Eventually he had closed the book with a snap so decided that it had caused Lucy to start. There had been a long pause, long enough for her to wonder, with mounting panic, what he planned to do with her.

"It's late so I think I will just give you a spanking, sweetheart. Pull up those skirts and get over my knee."

Lucy found the short skirts of the 'tutu' which she sometimes had to wear most shamefully revealing, yet the full skirts and petticoats of her full uniform had drawbacks of their own. Pulling up the voluminous material far enough to expose her bottom was not easy. Failure to do so adequately was certain to earn extra slaps. Somehow she had bent, billowing skirts and all, over her master's lap, but the tutting sounds told her she had not succeeded in baring her bottom to his satisfaction.

Crack!

His hard hand stung her right thigh.

"Ooohhh!"

"Be silent, girl, I told you to lift your skirts." There was a deal of rustling silk as he struggled with the copious material. "These long skirts are a bother. As are all these petticoats. Still, your bottom does look peachy like that, against the folds of white cotton. You really must stop clenching it though. You know that by now!"

There had been a warning growl in his voice and Lucy had somehow managed to relax her bottom-cheeks. Then she had been spanked. Lord Alex was a big man, extremely strong for all his indolent airs, and his hand was very, very hard. Lucy had tried to stay silent, as she was supposed to do when her master spanked her, but all too soon found that the cries of pain were being forced through her tightly gritted teeth. Again and again his hand had come down, cracking across her bottom-cheeks, and then the backs of her thighs, where these were bare across the tops of her silk stockings.

Lord Alex had gruffly ordered her to be quiet, but her bottom stung like fury and little yips and gasps of pain spilled out with every smack as the pain built up and up... Perhaps he had been feeling merciful - more likely the spanking had aroused him to the point where his own need had become urgent. Whatever the reason, for once, a short spanking was all Lord Alex had required her to endure.

"All right, get on your knees. Frig me, girl, quickly now!"

As fast as she could manage, the skirts slowing her down considerably, Lucy had sunk to her knees at his left side. A little hesitantly, but deftly, nonetheless, she unbuttoned her master's breeches and took out his length. The sight of it, as always, made her feel a little dizzy. he had not ordered her to suck it on this occasion, so she had not. Instead the maid leaned forward and pumped a dainty fist up and down as she delicately teased his balls with her free hand.

"Oh God, yes, that's it. You're getting better at this, you cheeky little bitch," he had murmured between grunts of pleasure. "Practice makes perfect, eh. Saucy little baggage!"

Lucy's heart had skipped a beat at his words. She had been whipped enough times in the past for not getting this job right. Still, she hardly dared hope it, but it seemed she might be giving satisfaction this time. She licked her lips anxiously and concentrated on the task in hand with renewed attention.

"Oh, God, yes!"

It had begun twitching in her hand and she could have sworn that the blue veins marbling the shaft were throbbing. Lucy had felt a surge of panic flood her. He had not given her any instructions at this stage. If he spurted and made a mess she might well earn a whipping, yet it was not her place to decide whether to catch his spending in her mouth, over her hands or, as Lord Alex often preferred, over her breasts. What was she supposed to do with it this time?

Oh, I do hope Lucy got it right, don't you?

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for June 5

We discussed the length of spankings and you had some interesting thoughts on the matter.

Dan: Hi Hermione. While it feels like much longer as it is happening, the reality is probably more like 5 minutes.

Sir Wendel: Typically I spanked the misses for about 3 to 5 minutes. A hand spanking can be a couple of hundred swats. For the paddle there will be a lot fewer swats but it will last just as long. It takes her a good 20 minutes to give a proper spanking. The longer the better.

Arched one: In this house a spanking is about 15-20 as she uses different implements. What has happened a number of times she gets into a mood where she just feels like spanking me I can get spanked 3-4 times in one day.

abby: Hmm..the actual spanking, probably around 15--20 minutes....Sometimes there is a multiple implement spanking and those can be 45 minutes or more.

Simon: Sadly I don't get spanked often enough. I live a long way from the lady who punishes me so when we do meet up we devote a lot of time to it. After a leisurely lunch she likes to spend the whole afternoon beating me with a variety of implements and finishing with the cane. There are breaks and it is surprising how much punishment a person can take if it is spread over four hours.

Fondles: I definitely enjoy long spankings with lots of breaks in between, unfortunately BIKSS sometimes prefers to just let rip in quick machine-gun bursts. Time isn't always on our side too, and sometimes he has more pressing matters that need addressing which might cut the spanking part of our playtime short *wink*.

Six of the best: The spanking that I usually give to one particular mature lady, lasts about 10 minutes. This turns us on for our wonderful loving making that follows. The spanking can be with a cane, birch rod, paddle, or hairbrush, on her knickers down bare bottom.

Anon 1: The length of a spanking is as much a part of what is going on in the head of the spankee. I can remember a couple that seemed to go on till the next century but others that seemed only quickies. There is soon much that is mental that short of using a stopwatch its pretty hard to tell. My GF thinks that its a matter of how her hand feels. Sometimes she can go on forever other times its not so long. We use paddles and other stuff but hands are really the most personal and meaningful.

Yorkie: Good question Hermione. I've never timed them but I'd estimate about 5-10 minutes as her method is opposite to my kink. She wants it over with as soon as possible where as I would like it to last forever.
As we operate with multiples of a set of twenty swats, be it a short otk leather strap or the short, ever ready rattan cane to the short handled bath brush I like to get as many sets as possible before it's too boring for her.
As an example, my last spankings were the cane, the bath brush and then the smack stick so allow about one swat every second or so for about 260 swats on total plus rub time and what not between sets, changing implements I'd say typically about ten minutes, possibly fifteen maximum. These were repeated once or twice daily for a three day period so they're not isolated sessions but I have to say they would be about ten to fifteen minutes of sheer, divine OTK bliss!

Happy Spankings!

Ronnie: It does depend on the type of spanking as to how long they last. Can be a quick otk 3-4 minutes or with breaks in between and if more than one implement is used a spanking can last 1/2 hour to an hour.

Anon 2: At this point I'm not spanked and paddled often enough, let alone long enough. Not enough time due to all the things going on during summer with the kids not in school and all their activities taking center stage.

Master used to give me 3 swats a night when time got limited, just to keep me in line and ease my need to be bent over. But when he is out of town for a bit I get really edgy while I wait for the inevitably long makeup paddling I know is coming.

With the lengthy period of anticipation ahead of the expended session, it usually doesn't even come close to long enough for me when it finally happens.

Hermione: My Ron is very much a creature of habit. At a predetermined hour, we set off upstairs for a spanking. At first I never bothered to look at the clock to see how long our spankings lasted, but after a while I got curious and remembered to check the clock as soon as it was over. Over the weeks I realized that no matter when they actually started, they always finished at exactly the same time. So if I want to shorten the length of a spanking, all I have to do is dawdle on the stairs or take a little extra time in the bathroom. The actual length is around 10 minutes, give or take a minute or two.

Thank you for sharing with us this week!

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #128

Welcome to our first spanko brunch for June. Today we will be pondering that age-old question: does length really matter? The length of a spanking, that is.

How long do your spankings usually last? Would you prefer them to be longer or shorter, or are they just right? What is the longest spanking you have ever participated in?

Leave your response as a comment and I will publish your thoughts once everyone has had a chance to speak.

You Completed the Caption

What are these two gossiping about? Read on and find out!


arched one: My husband gave me the most wonderful spanking this morning and I'm getting another tonight I'm so excited.

Baxter: The boss is very particular about how his typed letters look. When I was doing your job, I got spanked a couple times a week by him. I really enjoyed being over his knee with his big hand spanking my bare bottom. I sometimes would make a mistake just to have him warm my bottom. Go ahead, it is fun.

Ronnie: He did what? He pulled me over his knee lifted my skirt took down my knickers and spanked me.

Sir Wendel: Well I heard Jonathan gets paddled by Miss Jones every morning before her 8am meeting. No wonder he is always on his feet.

Simon: "You know, I'm not sure that there is such a thing as International Spank the Secretary Day"

"I think it was very cruel of Mr Jones to superglue me to your ear"

Anon 1: You were right, I acted like a spoiled little girl, pouted, pulled out all stops.
It was great, over his lap, my skirt pulled up, my panties down, his hand spanking my bare bottom, it felt really good. When he stopped I danced around the room rubbing and crying, he smiled and said next time the hairbrush. I cannot wait, oh and thank you for the cushion my bottom is still sore and it has been three days.

Anon 2: "The boss's wife just stomped into his office with a belt in her hand."

Anon 3: Woman on the right: I know you're new here and you're probably wondering about the noises coming from the boss's office. That's Marge getting her weekly maintenance spanking. The boss has a policy of spanking each of us secretaries one day a week to keep us in line. Today is Marge's turn. Jean gets spanked on Mondays, Alice on Tuesdays and me on Thursdays. Friday is your day. Of course, spankings aren’t limited to just your day. Believe me, the boss doesn’t have a problem hauling us over his knee for a good paddling any time we make too many mistakes … and we tend to make a lot of mistakes … if you get my drift.
Woman on the left: Oh, my, after hearing Marge getting her spanking, I don't think I can wait until Friday. I was trying so hard to get this letter just perfect, but I guess I'll have to redo it so he'll have a good reason to spank me this afternoon.


Anon 4: Oh, those squealing and smacking sounds. That’s the boss dealing with his spoiled ex-wife. You saw the way she stormed in here bitching about how she was going to make him pay for cutting off her credit cards. Well, he told me this morning that after her outburst here last week, he’d had enough of her foolishness and had decided to take my advice and put her across his lap and give a long overdue spanking the next time she bursts in here ranting and raving with her silly demands. He even showed me the “spanking” new hairbrush he bought just for the occasion, saying he’d probably get to use it very soon because he’d closed her credit cards accounts and expected she’d show up any day now. So I suggested that if he really wanted to make an impression with that hairbrush he should do what my husband does and vigorously apply it to her bare bottom until she can’t sit down for a week, and that he should then make her stand in the corner out here with her red bottom on display so that all of us who’ve had to put up with her bitchy attitude all these years can enjoy seeing the results of her having gotten her comeuppance.

Six of the best: Said one of the female typists to the other. "Old Baldy the boss has promised me 'six of the best' on my knickers down bare bottom after work." "You are lucky. He is giving me a dozen strokes of the cane, when Old Baldy takes my bloomers down, right after you've received your caning," said her co-worker.

Anon 5: I heard Mr. Jones say on the phone, "I'm a little sore. But is that all you've got, Honey? Maybe I'll be late, again, just to see what you really have."

Anon 6: Secretary on the right: Just in case you were wondering where I've been since lunch. I just got my first spanking from the boss. He called me in because he was displeased that I still couldn't get through the contract I was typing without making mistakes even though he'd been over it twice with me. He gave me a long lecture, and then he put me over his knee, raised up my dress and pulled down my panties. Once he'd bared my bottom, he gave me a long, hard spanking with his hand, and then he brought out this really nasty hairbrush and spanked me until my poor fanny was on fire. Then he made me stand in the corner with my hands on my head and my red bottom on display while he marked all the errors I'd made. When he was finished, he told me to go back to work and that I'd better get it right this time or he's going to bend me over his desk and use this big paddle on me the next time. My bottom is so sore, I can barely sit still, let alone concentrate on my work. I just had to tell someone.
Secretary on the left: Damn it. I think I'm about to get the same treatment. I just got a call from him to come to his office, and he didn't sound very pleased. He said we have some things to discuss and that I should plan to be in his office for as long as it takes for him to get his message through my hard head.
Secretary on the right: Oh, no. That's exactly what he said to me when he called me in. I guess he's found the best way to get a message through our hard heads is by using a hairbrush to deliver it to our soft bottoms. It certainly worked in my case.

Anon 7: You're not going to believe what just happened. Mr. Jenkins finally gave me the spanking I've been hoping for since I started working here. He said he'd finally had enough of my naughty behavior, and then he turned me over his knee and bared my bottom, just the way I'd hoped he would. He gave me a real good walloping that had my wiggling my bottom and squirming around on his lap until my rear end was hot and sore ... and he certainly seemed to enjoy it because he was very worked up ... if you know what I mean. So after the spanking was over, I felt so bad for him, seeing as it was my fault he was in such a state, that I crawled under his desk and gave him the most delicious blow job. When I was done, he told me that I've been such naughty girl and that he's going to have to give me a spanking every day until I learn to be good. I think it's going to take a long time for me to learn to be good.

Hermione: It's true! The boss really did spank Shirley for forgetting to pick up his suit from the cleaners.

Well, it seems that not much work gets done in that office! Those were the good old days! For more spanking tales, be sure to join us for brunch, coming up next.

Complete the Caption

These two office workers seems to be more interested in gossiping than in doing their work. They'd better not let the boss catch them! What do you think they are discussing?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment and I will circulate your memos on Saturday.