Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 10

How have your spankings changed over time?

Wendel: The Misses has been naked the last few paddlings in the woods, so I guess we have gotten a bit braver. Other than that, spanking at home have remained the same.

Sage: It hasn't been that long for me, but I've bought all these new implements from Cane-iac, Etsy and Amazon. We keep experimenting to see how they work. They all feel different. We're trying implements in different positions, although mostly OTK. Some toys feel a lot different in wheelbarrow, or when I'm bending over a chair, than OTK. Just a lot of exploring and then staying more with those positions & toys that work well for both of us for erotic spanking.

Roz: I'm not sure the spankings themselves have really changed, but what does change is the reason behind them due to the ebb and flow and changes in our dynamic and the feelings, emotions behind them. Punishment, play, role affirmation etc.

Mary: The spankings themselves have not changed at all. Once a month, after dinner on the first Friday, I clean up the kitchen and go up to our bedroom and wait for my wife. After reviewing my behavior the past month, I go over her knee. How hard I am spanked and for how long is determined by her assessment of my behavior.

What has changed is my behavior and my attitude. I am much better at taking care of the house, I respect my wife's authority and I am eager to please her in bed.

Most importantly, she looks at me lovingly as her helpmate.

Jack: In the beginning my wife used her hairbrush, her mother said the bath brush does a better job, trust me it does. She decided also that when I need a spanking, which has always been over her lap, never changed.
Early bed time really happened quickly.
Spanked in front of others, my mother-in-law happened really at the first, along with the fact my mother-in-law at her home did the spankings.
Others, well a couple of her best friends now see the spanking, or me facing the wall afterwards.
The latest is the worst. I face not the wall, but her or who ever else is present. I can be naked, or just having my pants and underpants around my ankles, all on display, and that tells me I have really crossed the line and been a very naughty little boy.

Barrel: Ours have changed on two fronts. First, the emotional connection. We have morphed from purely foreplay, to tension relief for both of us. As a dominant in my former business life, a long thrashing is a dam breaker for me emotionally and a port for my wife to release tension I have reluctantly gifted her. Finally, we have changed from just, OK…OTK to a planned build up, orchestrated teasing, use of other toys that culminate with bondage necessary for a long and intense thrashing.

It will be interesting to hear from others how theirs have changed.

Bonnie: I think our spankings have evolved a lot as we've moved through life. They tend to be less intense physically, but more intense psychologically. Randy has learned how to get inside my head and feed my kinks. By the time he's finished, I feel thoroughly punished.

Rosco: Well, it’s been over 40 years. Almost from the beginning, it’s been spanking followed by cunnilingus then intercourse.

Irene paddled me hard with a hairbrush on our honeymoon in 1982, but we stopped using one soon after. I remember being very nervous buying a riding crop at a western store before you could buy such at a thing at a sex shop or over the internet.

From 1985 til 2005 or so, our sessions would often be nooners when the kids were at daycare or school. Intense, wonderful and satisfying - but often a bit hurried.

When our youngest went off to college, we started to take our time. Lots of foreplay. Irene would spank me, leave, then return 20 minutes later and start all over. She’ll dress up - yesterday she was a southern belle. I buy Irene low cost dresses on the Internet - fun stuff that’s not her normal personality but not the usual sex outfits. At some point we started getting into bondage - it works for us but she’s not altogether competent in strapping me down. We’ve experimented with many other activities on the kinkier side - some things we do once or twice then move on - like her peeing on me. Other things we incorporate from time to time like ice cubes in my bottom.

These days, Irene uses a two tailed leather strap, a leather paddle and a riding crop. She’s learned not to strike the far hipbone and is usually a tad gentler when she whips me between the legs.

We’re almost 70 and have these passionate encounters about once a week. We take our time. In the old days it was almost daily but done much more quickly.

Hermione: I think that what's really changed for me is my need for spanking. When we first got into it, I was almost desperate for it to happen. Over time, I have come to realize that I will always be spanked regularly, so no need to fret about it. Now I pretty much take it for granted, although there is still a feeling of anxious anticipation as the time approaches.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #530

Welcome! Come on in, you're just in time for some lively conversation about spanking. Some of you may just be starting out on your spanko journey, and many of you have been at it for a long, long time. Either way, we'd like your feedback on this week's topic.

How have your spankings changed over time?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation. Thank you, Bonnie, for this week's topic.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

You Completed the Caption

Rosco: Heidi admired her own soft flesh in the mirror, knowing that Rosco was surreptitiously peeking through the keyhole. She'd catch the naughty boy in the act this time, and give him a sound thrashing. The prospect of delivering a spanking was oddly titillating, or maybe just titillating.

Prefectdt: I'm not naked. I just don't have any clothes on.

Barrel: If you want me to drop my towel, it will cost you. Hand me my hairbrush and bend over the couch.

Sage: OK. I'm ready. When my boyfriend walks into this room, I'll bet he's going to feel the urge to pull this cloth the rest of the way off of my butt and then spank me. I can hardly wait.

Sore: The alabaster bosom will soon bloom with his hurried bite marks. The alabaster bottom will turn scarlet under the loving strokes of his fashionably thin leather belt. She blushes at the naughty thought that paints her alabaster cheeks the faintest shade of pink. Regretfully, the photograph cannot capture colours.

Dear Hermione, may I use your lovely photograph?

Of course, help yourself :)

Roz: Well, my boobs are still sore from the crop last night but I can't see any marks.

KDPierre: Damned Amazon sent the wrong size skirt again.

Anon: After seeing me standing next to the bed like this, I can't believe the first thing he did was to put me over his knee and use that damned hairbrush on me. Now, given the way my bottom feels, I'm afraid to turn around and see what kind of damage he did back there.

Deja Vu: I have a divine right.

Ronnie: Bathed and ready for her.

Hermione: Does this wrap make my bum look big?

That was fun! For more fun, please join us for brunch, coming up soon.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Complete the Caption

Our local antique shop is a wonderful place, filled with all sorts of treasures. This vintage photo is a priceless peek into the past. Who is the woman, and what might she be thinking?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment below, and I'll publish them before our weekly brunch.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Still Going Strong

Today is a double celebration: my blog and I are both one year older. The blog is 14, and I am...older than that :)

Thank you to all my dear readers who have supported me through the years. I couldn't have done it without you.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 3

How do we define ourselves?

Jack: I was looking for a woman who would take charge. I had could at times spend too much, get mad if I did not get my way. It was dating a older woman, the first time I was spanked as an adult by her, that the spanking hurt, but it brought relief, security. The woman I married, knew this older women, while dating I got out of line, was given the choice of ending the relationship or getting a spanking. I took the spanking knowing she would be easy on me. Boy was I wrong, she started with the hand, and then the hairbrush. 

Dan: I have a hard time defining my role, too. I'm on the receiving end of spankings at home, and my wife and I have dipped our toes into a FLR dynamic. Yet, I'm not remotely submissive in temperament or in my day-to-day relationships. At heart, I am a Type A, dominant personality that, as a result of those tendencies, feels a strong need to give up control at home and to be accountable to someone (my wife) in a way that is very different from my usual role.

Rosco: If I knew the term, I would have called myself a switch.

I administered one very successful spanking in 1969 which preceded my first trips to 1st and 3rd base - Martha encouraged me to skip 2nd base. What a night that was.

In the 1970s, the few times I tried to introduce spanking were unsuccessful and I was pretty discouraged and hesitant to ask.

I started dating Irene in 1980. We had a great honest relationship from the onset. When I mentioned spanking, she seemed surprised, and said she’d give it a try but she would be the one doing the spanking and had no interest receiving one.

My interest in being the top has pretty much evaporated over the past 44 years, but I enjoy being spanked as much as ever. If I wasn’t married, and were with a particularly bratty woman I’d probably think about spanking her but I’ve pretty much settled into being the spankee.

 KDPierre: Submission can have many faces besides just taking a spanking. And even then, the type of spanking one is willing to accept is also open to personal needs and taste. Like Dan, I am not what people expect when one thinks "submissive male". In fact when we came out to a few friends, they weren't as surprised at the kink as much as who was in each role. However, for us, our roles are a perfect fit.

Now as to the 'why' of it all? Well, for me, I know I can be many things...most of them good...but others a bit frustrating for those around me. I also find that besides enjoying spanking for fun, I sincerely benefit from deserved punishments. They ground and balance me, and help with guilt. (They also give Rosa (and others) an outlet for their feelings). I, like others have admitted, have fallen into such a role with women who learned that not only was such a lifestyle empowering for them, but that it worked! Any hesitation or concerns disappeared as they found they could address something that bothered them and rather than me feeling resentment, I would sincerely apologize, and try to improve. It didn't take long for the Tops in my life to realize the emotional and practical benefits of using spanking as a household management tool!

But I am also sexually submissive and it has been decades since I had an orgasm that wasn't formally approved by another. In fact I associate the physical pleasure and release of orgasm with the final asking of permission to come and hearing Rosa grant it. Since I am 'holding back' until that permission is given, the granting of it and the subsequent sensations have been inextricably linked for so long that I can't imagine "just having an orgasm". It would seem...diminished or incomplete.

And I think the "why" for this level of submission to the will of another is not the same as it is for spanking. I believe for me, making myself an exception to the usual rule of everyone being entitled to free orgasms whenever, I feel my role is reinforced, my status and pride healthily diminished, and the actual orgasmic experience elevated to something rare, special, and powerful.

As you can see, both are different, yet combined? Living a lifestyle where my spouse can feel free to not only govern the household, but to feel no obligation to granting orgasms unless she feels they are deserved, establishes a very real world of 'reward and punishment' for me. And for me, that is a good thing and makes everything better, including ...and perhaps especially...my own behavior.

Hermione: I am naturally submissive, just as Ron is naturally dominant. That is reflected in both spanking and vanilla activities. I didn't decide to be this way; I just am.

Sage Blum: I can see how if you are a female spanko, who wants to be a spankee, or a male spanko who wants to be the spanker, then traditional gender roles of dominant male/submissive female seem to fit. So you go that route--maybe even extra dominant/extra submissive to try to help your success in the dating world, in finding a compatible partner.

Although in my particular relationship they don't fit. My partner and I were attracted to each other partly due to our independence. There's no consistent dominance or submission on the part of either of us--either in the bedroom or elsewhere. And once I finally got the courage to ask, spanking fit into our relationship just fine. Because it's all "foreplay" to him. If he were a spanko, maybe he would be a switch.

For most female spankees and male spankers, I guess traditional gender roles seem like they're not broke. So you don't fix them. Maybe you even accentuate them. But for male spankees and female spankers, traditional gender roles do seem broke. So you fix them.

It sounds like it's all a matter of us doing things that we think can get our needs met, whatever those needs may be. 

For me and my partner, traditional roles seemed broken, because we both grew up in a strict religion. And both in the religious schools we attended, and at home, gender roles and other hierarchical roles seemed arbitrary and broken. Also, the idea of deserved punishment was foreign. Punishments were arbitrary. We never believed that we or others we knew who were punished, deserved it--or that anyone was punishing anyone out of love. I realize now that that can sometimes be true, though it still seems somewhat foreign to me.

So all that seemed broken to us. Which is why we choose to relate through frequent feedback, exploration, communication and negotiation. Which is not for everyone, of course. Just our way of fulfilling our own needs.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #529

Welcome, one and all, to the first spanko brunch for the month of March. Today's topic was suggested last week by Sage Blum, one of our newest brunch guests and fairly new to spanking. I hope you can give her some good advice.

I am curious about people who are dominant or submissive. What draws people to these roles? Since neither of us is consistently in a role, I don't even know what, if anything, my partner and I should call ourselves.

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine