Wednesday WIN

What could this well-dressed woman possibly have in mind?

Not What it Looks Like

A painting of a leopard. Very nice.

But look at it from a different angle.

The lady is the leopard.

Rather an interesting form of bondage.

From the Top Shelf - At Home II

This selection from At Home by Bill Bryson is taken from the chapter on the evolution of the bedroom, which examines the sleeping arrangements of people over the centuries. The author refers to a passage written by John Aubrey, a seventeenth-century historian, about the marriage of Thomas More's daughter Margaret to a man named William Roper. For those of us interested in canes and their application, it leads to some interesting speculation.

...Roper calls one morning and tells More that he wishes to marry one of More's daughters--either one will do--upon which More takes Roper to his bedroom, where the daughters are asleep in a truckle bed wheeled out from beneath the parental bed. Leaning over, More deftly takes "the sheet by the corner and suddenly whippes it off," Aubrey relates in words that all but glisten lustily, revealing the girls to be fundamentally naked. Groggily protesting at the disturbance, they roll onto their stomachs, and after a moment's admiring reflection Sir William announces that he has seen both sides now and with his stick lightly taps the bottom of sixteen-year-old Margaret.

Was the suitor testing the resilience of his intended's backside? A sign of things to come, perhaps? Rather a novel way to ask for a woman's hand in marriage.

You Completed the Caption

Housework can be so confusing! Here's what you had to say on the subject.


Michael: Whenever Joyce did housework wearing a dress, makeup, garter, hose, and heels then "accidentally" snagged her dress just when hubby Roger was watching she really didn't want to do housework at all, but rather have Roger "work" on her.

Anonymous: Suddenly, her panties blew off to reveal her shiny hoover!

Six of the Best: She says to him. "I'll plug in the light, if you plug my two holes."

Sunnygirl: Step away very slowly and you won't get blown away.

Simon: Simon's new maid wasn't the best cleaner he'd ever seen but her other qualities were blatantly obvious.

Mick:
Her: Honey, I'm caught.
Simon: You have no idea.

Sara: "I KNEW I was never meant to do housework! How do you turn this thing off anyway?"

Ronnie: "Henry, don't be so horrible. Please stop laughing and help me."

Dorothy thought it's a good job Henry isn't in as he'd certainly take advantage of me in this position.

Bonnie: "Housework sucks."

Emanuele: Don't unplug that yet, let me give you a hand dear.

Prefectdt: The electric skirt lifter that Gloria had received at Christmas was working better than she had hoped.

Jackie: The vacuum wanted some revenge on the little lady.

Ricky: Oh, hello dear! Well yes, I can explain everything!
Ahem . . .

Anon II: I tried to look like Marilyn for you, but the damned thing just doesn't work!

Recidavist: Darling, you said this wonderful machine would help with some of the regular household duties...well it's lifted my dress and hauled my panties down just like you used to do. What else is it for...surely it didn't come with a Slipper attachment...DARLING..tell me it didn't....

Anon III: Oh the marvels of technology dear, it's the same with our mobile phones...those rampant rabbits have got so much smaller since the good old days.

Vfrat25000: The Suckmaster 500 Panty-Inspector successfully completed its first field test.

Pawhuska Power Company’s new Energy Saving poster didn’t appeal to about 50% of the demographics but strangely enough the other 50% thought it was TERRIFIC!

Oh, Mr. Peterson…. you are a NAUGHTY…NAUGHTY BOY…Oh DARN, it’s just the vacuum!

Something very strange happened after Betty Lou used the Electrolux to vacuum up a bottle of Viagra spilled on the carpet.

The Cover Page for the New York Times’ Best Seller, “How an Electrolux Introduced Me to my Husband.”

Sir, could you do me a big favor and turn off the vacuum?
I’m sorry Betty, I can’t hear you, the vacuum is running!

Tex: Looks like someone is a little "behind" in her housework!

Spanking Desire: The boys walking by the window got a surprise when she leaned down to unplug the vacuum that was feeling frisky.

Jai: Busted! Don't you DARE think about unplugging that, young lady!

Rattan: Professor Pettigrew's patent for his 'Automatic Domestic Discipline Skirto-Lifter' never really took off. Fortunately, young Mrs. Pettigrew discovered that Skirto-Lifter cleaned the living room rather well.

Hermione: I just can't figure out this vacuuming thing. Can you show me just once more?


Thank you, everyone, for pitching in this weekend. I promise you next week's photo won't be about dusting, dishes, or laundry!

Complete the Caption

It's time to do some housework, and this young lady could use a little assistance.

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I'll publish your helpful tips in the next post.

Friday FAIL

An unfortunate name for a pharmacy.

Once you're there, don't forget to pick up some of this.

Implement Relocation

Last week I decided that our kitchen looked pretty dull and needed some decorative touches to liven it up. I didn't want to do anything extreme or expensive (although granite countertops would be nice - sigh) and I like the colour scheme we have, so I decided to enhance the walls with some of our more decorative implements.

With Ron's help, I hung the heavy baguette cutting board beside one of the cupboards. Then, on either side of the window, I mounted the maple pizza cutter and the heart-shaped spoon using clear plastic hooks. Finally, I relocated the bamboo backscratcher to a prominent location near the dining room door.

The room has been transformed from a utilitarian kitchen to a spanko's paradise. Implements are within reach when needed, and they give me a little thrill whenever I see them, hanging there, waiting. Visitors will never guess the double purpose, I hope.