Thursday, May 23, 2013

Pain or Pleasure?

What is it about pain that appeals to us spankos when we experience it on our nether regions? Why is it so pleasurable on our bottoms, yet quite unwelcome when we feel it on other parts of our body?

I had reason to ponder this anomaly last weekend when I was preparing dinner for some guests. I had filled some flattened chicken breasts with asparagus and cheese, rolled them up, secured them with toothpicks, and browned them in a skillet on the stove. Then I placed the skillet in the oven to finish cooking the chicken rolls. When they were done I removed the skillet from the oven, then decided it would be a good idea to remove the wooden toothpicks, so my guests would not injure themselves or accidentally eat them.

This proved more difficult than I thought. They refused to budge. I struggled to restrain a piece of chicken with tongs while I pulled at the hot toothpicks with my fingers. The pan started to spin, and in an effort to control it I grabbed the handle, forgetting that it had just come out of the oven. Yeowch! I let go immediately and rushed to the sink to put out the fire in my hand with cold water. But I couldn't linger; the food was cooling off.

"Ron," I called. "Can you get me the pliers?" I was determined to get those toothpicks out one way or another and put the meal on the table, in spite of the pain.

Ron came into the kitchen, took one look at my face and asked what was wrong. I showed him my hand and explained what had happened. After examining my burn, he obligingly fetched the pliers, but he was no more successful than I had been in removing the wooden objects. He declared that we would simply warn our guests about the embedded hazards, and together we plated the food. (I hope Gordon Ramsey doesn't find out about this. He would spank us both.)

While Ron carried the plates to the table, I ran upstairs, broke a stalk off my aloe vera plant, and pressed the jellylike interior against my blistered hand. It felt better immediately.

My hand throbbed all through dinner and for the rest of the evening. I endured it, but couldn't help wondering about the paradox. When I am spanked, the pain is much worse than what I was feeling in my hand, but pain from a spanking is also pleasurable. Why wasn't I enjoying my burning hand in the same way? Why was it just painful, but not in a good way?

I am always stoic about pain from injuries, and rarely make a fuss. I didn't tell our guests about my accident and did my best to conceal my discomfort. Spanking, on the other hand, makes me shout, squeal, and protest loudly. It's my way of showing my appreciation, I suppose. If I were to endure a spanking silently, Ron would probably think I wasn't enjoying it, and might even stop.

What about you? What are your thoughts on pain and how you handle it?

From Hermione's Heart


Anonymous said...

Very good question Hermione. I've never put in that light. I would guess that one is an injury, while the other isn't. Yes spanking hurts but the glow after is wonderful, where an injury isn't.
Also spanking is a way for us spankos ( submissives ) to show our submission.

DelFonte said...

Spanking, for me, has to be given in a pleasure seeking context. Take away the context and pain is simply unwanted and a hindrance. Plus pain is supposed to warn you of impending injury. When I'm being spanked I feel safe and secure, so I don't see the pain as a warning signal. It's activating different emotions.
Where I don't have an answer his how far I'm willing to go before pain is negative again. Do I want to a masochist?

PK said...

I have wondered about this often. Why to we enjoy the pain of a spanking? Like you most of us don't enjoy other types of pain. I've often teased that scientist should study us - but truly I'm serious. I wish there was a true study that could answer some of these question.

abby said...

Maybe some of it has to do with the whole 'context' of the spanking,,,the position, the feel of His hand..or the leather. A question we have all pondered.
hugs abby

Hermione said...

Archedone - You make three mery good points.

DelFonte - I like your idea of pain as a warning. Doesn't happen with spanking.

PK - I would like to volunteer for that study.

Abby - I agree. Context is everything.


Anonymous said...

I had the same thought when I visited a dentist. Perhaps, it is the power exchange that gives us pleasure. I know that I enjoy the connection with the person who is spanking me. Good question.

BTW. I hope your hand has healed.


Roz said...

Ouch Hermione! I'm sorry about the injury.

This is such a great question. With spanking, for me it's the act of dominance and submission and the intimacy and closeness it provides that brings pleasure rather than the pain itself. When the spanking becomes a little intense, it's the fact that he is really exerting his dominance that I like.

With an injury. It is unexpected and unwanted and we put negative connotation on it.


morningstar said...

I am thinking that spankings are consensual - and wanted/needed/desired

Any other pain is not consensual or needed/wanted or desired... shrug not really sure what the difference is..

i do know - as a sort of side note - that after being sick (a couple of years ago) for 7 months - 7 months that included a whole mess of non-consensual pain.. my tolerance for pain now is much much lower....... and it seems to take a whole lot more work to get me to appreciate... weird eh?

sunnygirl said...

I have thought about this too. Perhaps it's because spankings are a prelude to pleasure. I don't know if this is true in everybody but it is for me.
I don't want to think about it, just enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

There's no sensual aspect of the burn on your hand. You weren't prepared for it the way you prepare mentally for a spanking! :D

maryanne said...

oh no hermione! i work with fire, so i know how badly a burn can be. i have many scars on my hands and neck from glass spitting at me and melting to my skin. ouch!

as for the spanking pain... yes, i agree. i get a little miffed if i am spanked in the "sit spot" area and not on my bottom. hey! that's not the place for being spanked, i'll croak out. lol the feeling is most definitely different, even though it is SO close to the perfect spot. why we love it i don't know, but i do love it so. :) i've just recently figured out that it gives me great release and that's what i need. i finally put two and two together that spanking = calming for me. :) maybe not during but afterwards... absolutely!

hugs to you H,

ps: i hope your hand feels better asap! oh, and your food sounded fabulous, btw.

Red said...

The immediacy of the burning sensation, in an area not used to being warmed, might be part of the answer. No single stroke with even a loopy johnny, can be as severe as the pain of a burn.... and dare I say that there is significant less padding on your hand than on your bottom! :)
Okay, that applies to both women and men :)
bottoms up

ronnie said...

Good question Hermione and one I think we've all probably asked ourselves from time to time.

For me spanking is a pain I mostly enjoy, can mentally prepare for it whereas an injury is unexpected and unwanted.

I hope your hand didn't blister.


bobbsroom said...

As a top i have always found this question intriguing and it is something i always ask when i meet someone new. The general consensus seems to be the idea of consensual pain against non-consensual. I do not want to clog up your box with my thoughts but i think i will put them in my blog.

Hope your hand heals quickly and you have a good weekend

Take care


Erica said...

A lot of people assume that those who enjoy being spanked are masochists. That's too easy.

For me, spanking pain is eroticized, fetishized. It's so much more than the physical pain: it's my head space, the power play, my top's voice, the various sensations, the dialogue. There is absolutely nothing yummy and sexy about burning my hand on a pot handle. (So sorry that happened!)

I crave spanking-specific pain, bottom-stinging pain. But anywhere else, under any other circumstance? NO.

Hermione said...

Joey - Dentists definitely have all the power! Actually, my current dentist does everything he can to make sure the pain is minimal.

Roz - I can see where you're coming from. When it's expected, and from someone whose dominance you want, it's easier to handle.

Morningstar - It makes sense that consensual pain would be agreeable. I remember your long period of non-consensual pain - glad it's over.

Sunny - We look forward to the pleasure that makes up for the pain.

Sara - Yeah, it wasn't the tiniest bit sexy!

Maryanne - That sounds so dangerous! Molten sugar melts onto your skin in the same way.

Dinner was a big hit!

Red - True, I'm not into getting rulered or caned on my hands. they are not as well-padded as other parts of my anatomy.

Ronnie - No, it didn't blister at all. The skin is shiny but didn't hurt the next morning.

Bob - I'll look forward to reading your thoughts on pain. I love knowing more about a top's point of view.


Rollin said...

So, can you give me that recipe again? What kind of cheese? This sounds really good.

Hermione said...

Erica - I can really relate to that craving. I really dislike pain on other parts of my body, but I guess I am a masochist, because while I don't enjoy it, I don't make a big deal about it.

Rollin - LOL! The cheese I used was 10 year old cheddar, and the asparagus was straight out of our garden and freshly steamed. We have agreed that I will use twine next time to tie the bundles.


Anonymous said...

Hmm, I'm not sure… I make as much of a fuss from spanking pain as I do about other kinds of pain, lol. I'm a total wimp. While the sting of a random playful smack is definitely pleasant, pain isn't the main draw for me when it comes to spanking. Rather, it is the psychological aspect and the experience of being overpowered.

I do agree with Anon that the afterglow is key, after a spanking when the pain subsides a little the after glow is a wonderful feeling, and there is no such thing when you burn your hand or cut your finger (I hope you're all better, by the way! Burns suck.)

chickadee said...

Hope that hand gets feeling better quickly! I have absolutely no reference point to go on from the spanking perspective. I have a crazy high pain tolerance though.

I had some honey that had crystallized and the kids wanted it in their chicken. I meant to hit the 10-second button on the microwave. I instead hit the 1-minute button. I'd been doing other cooking and didn't notice how long it cooked. It looked fine when I got around to taking it out. But when I moved it, honey exploded everywhere. I have 10' high ceilings in my kitchen and there was honey up there on it. My hand was burned terribly. I was wailing and shaking so bad hubby thought it was a seizure. It was just the most horrid pain.

So I can walk on a broken leg, hose down a few horses, feed the farm, drive the car, make dinner and have a shower before heading to the hospital. It was so bad I needed emergency surgery plus a follow up surgery later.

Get burned and I'm reduced to a shaking ball of near-shock.

Burn is a totally different type of pain. I don't care how tough you are or how well you enjoy or tolerate pain. Burns are horrible.

Kenzie said...

Aw, first off, I hope your hand is feeling better! Those burns are NOT fun.

I've thought about the whole pain in different areas, thing, a few times, and I haven't really been able to come up with much lol ..

maybe it's what accompanies the pain that makes it pleasurable? The closeness, that feeling of giving up control, that kind of stuff?

Lady Koregan said...

Hm... Forgive me if I repeat what anyone has said, I have not had time to read all the comments.

In The Loving Dominant John Warren puts forward a theory that I think best explains the contradiction.

He says that pain experienced as part of play is under your (or in some cases your Top's) control and therefore it is not threatening.

Pain from other sources, however, is not under your control, and therefore it feels more threatening. The body's natural insticts (pain = danger) kick in, leading to the strong negative reaction.

It's the difference between knowing you're safe... and knowing you're not.

ricky said...

An unexpected pain hurts, because
it's a warning of something harmful.
But a conditioned pain, that's
something else again; for example,
athletes and their high.
Maybe spankos are just couch potato
athletes; you know, without all that sweat?

Dragon's Rose said...

Hope your hand is okay.

I am the same way with a pleasure spanking. I dance around and call Dragon names. If I don't, he doesn't think I am having any fun.

Hermione said...

Faline - The afterglow from a spanking is very nice indeed. Unlike a burn's afterglow. That just sucks!

Chickadee - Wow! That was some explosion! Burns can be terrible.

BTW did you know how the ydiscovered that salt water was an excellent treatment for burns? In World War II, the burned airmen who fell into the ocean after their planes were hit healed much faster than the ones who landed elsewhere (and survived).

Kenzie - There are a lot of things that make spanking pleasurable, and you've listed them.

Lady K - That sounds like the explanation for why you can't tickle yourself; because you are in control. Good explanation.

Ricky - There's a strong similarity among those of us who seek the endorphin high.

Dragon's Rose - I think Tops enjoy the fact that we aren't enjoying ourselves. Ron would be disappointed if I didn't complain:)


Terpsichore said...

pain for pain alone is simply pain for me...pain with intimacy, sensuousness, playfulness, and love is pleasure for me. I am always bumping into things, bruising myself, burning myself (I know graceful for a dancer)...I do not find pleasure in any of those pains...spanking is is fun and the feeling afterwards is incredible...