Wednesday, May 7, 2014

A Gift from Above

I've mentioned before that Ron takes very good care of our cars and is quite particular about them. So imagine his horror when he looked out our front window yesterday afternoon and saw something that displeased him.

"What's that on the car?" he asked, as if I had seen something happen to the car and had the answer.

I was busy in the kitchen so I replied without looking. "I don't know. Probably bird poop." Our cars get targeted regularly by birds, especially at nesting time in the spring.

"No. Come see." I joined him at the window and saw the whole front of the car spattered with what looked like mud. I hurried out to take a closer look. It didn't look like bird poop at all. I leaned closer and took a sniff. The aroma was reminiscent of freshly fertilized fields. Our second car, a few feet away, was likewise anointed.

I reported my findings to Ron, and we wondered if some neighbourhood kids had sprayed our car with something noxious. But the cars were both facing our house, not the street. The following morning, further investigation revealed a portion of the roof near the cars was also spattered with the brown liquid. We often see private planes, helicopters, and small commuter planes fly over our house, so we finally decided that a plane must have emptied the contents of its toilet onto our property as it flew over.

Yuck! That pilot needs a good spanking!

Despite the chilly weather, Ron got out his bucket and brushes, and scrubbed the cars clean right after breakfast. I do hope that, like lightning, airplanes don't strike twice in the same place.

From Hermione's Heart


abby said...

EWWWEY......hope they change their flight pattern.
hugs abby

Roz said...

Yuck ts right ... gross!


Measha Stone said...

Oh my! Imagine if Ron had been outside working on the car at the moment of impact. Yuck!

ronnie said...


Oh no, how horrible.

Birds a nuisance where we live, you wash the car and two minutes later damn birds have pooped all over it.


Anonymous said...

Oh my God, how gross! The airlines are supposed to pump out their toilets on the tarmac using a waste vehicle. Poor you!

Dragon's Rose said...

Gross. Good man for taking care of the problem.

an English Rose said...

Hi Hermione, makes our seagulls and pigeons seem not so bad now. How horrid
love Jan,xx

Hermione said...

Abby - I hope so too, or even airports!

Roz - +1

Measha - It doesn't bear thinking about!

Ronnie - Seagulls are the worst!

Annapurna - We may complain to someone (who? police?) if it ever happens again.

Rose - The roof will have to wait for the next rainstorm.

Jan - It was about twenty seagulls' worth, although more diluted.


Erica said...

BLECCCHHHHHH! What a nerve!

Ni Na said...

That's really gross. ... Return to sender :)

Jay said...

I am pretty sure that when planes do dump, they are only supposed to unload over bodies of water...I mean what if someone happened to be standing there?! Sorry it happened, but hopefully it won't happen again.


Baxter said...

Hermione, I agree with you. Someone richly deserves a spanking for that.

Cat said...

Oh Yuck! Poor Hermione...that is pure D disgusting! At least neither one of you were outside and your car windows weren't open!

I do agree with you...the pilot deserves a barn burner!


Hermione said...

Erica - A whole lotta nerve!

Nina - If only I could.

Jay, That's what we thought, although it wouldn't be good for the fish. We thought if only it could have happened in our neighbour's front yard instead :)

Baxter - I hope they do, but probably won't.

Cat - Probably very unsanitary as well.


Autumn said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I didn't know they actually did that; that is disgusting!!

smuccatelli said...

I wonder if you have any carwashes nearby. I think I would rather someone else took care of it myself. Even if it costs some money.

I think it likely the nearest airport would have information on the flight plans of all commercial planes and they could likely pinpoint the culprit pretty quickly. Then contact the airline and threaten to sue them. Might get a free trip out of it at least. And they could pay to have your roof cleaned too...

Charlie said...

That sound like aerial warfare in the form of an "icey B M".

Hermione said...

Autumn - I would have thought it was illegal too.

Smuccatelli - There wasn't that much, really, and Ron doesn't trust his precious cars to car washes.

We'll keep your suggestion handy in case it ever happens again.

Charlie - GROAN! Too funny!