Monday, July 14, 2008

The View From Here - Why?

There are many different reasons kinds of spankings: erotic, stress relief, good girl, maintenance, discipline, punishment, playful. What labels can I give to ours?

The Fantasy - I would like to be lectured and punished, for real or in play. All my fantasies are about punishment. A spanking for being good would also be as welcome as one for being naughty or for breaking the rules.

The Reality - Spankings are part and parcel of our romantic life. They are always erotic in nature and ignite a spark in both of us that bursts into flame with the intimate activities that always follow. So when I ask to be spanked, or Ron suggests it, it is always in the context of an amorous encounter.

Punishment is not an option. Ron thinks knows that I would enjoy it so much it wouldn't have any effect. When he finds some reason to complain about my behaviour, I usually tell him that he should spank me. His response is, "Good things don't happen to people who mess up." Or if I ask him if I'm in trouble, he'll reply, "No. there'll be NO trouble for you." Then we both laugh, and my crime of commission or omission is forgotten. But I can still fantasize!

Then there is stress relief. I have found that while a spanking will excite me, it can also help reduce any stress that's building up inside. More and more, I can tell when things are getting out of control inside my head. I know when a spanking is what I need to calm me down and restore inner balance.

And sometimes, especially when I am stressed, I just don't feel like I want or need the erotic activities that go along with spanking. The spanking itself is all I crave. Ron, however, sees my request for a stress-reliever as an invitation to the bedroom, and he might or might not be interested in such an invitation. If he isn't, then the spanking doesn't happen.

So the challenge was to explain to Ron that spankings now have two purposes, and that while one does not necessarily exclude the other, it's perfectly fine with me to have a spanking without sex. And that's what I did. We discussed it on two separate occasions, and I explained that when I requested a stress-buster, that was really all I needed. He probably would find that my body would be giving out signs of being aroused but it wasn't necessarily a demand on my part for sexual activity. I could enjoy a spanking for its own sake, and anything more would be his choice.

After our second conversation, Ron understood where I was coming from, and must have decided I'd better have some stress relief soon. The next day, he got out the new wooden paddle and applied it vigorously to my posterior, without benefit of a warmup. (I don't count six hand spanks as a real warmup.) He definitely got the idea! And we concluded in the usual way, to our mutual satisfaction.

Lately I haven't felt stressed enough to put our new agreement to the test, but I'm sure something will come up soon!


smith said...

this is what i need....a spanking to relieve stress! Glad you have someone that understands that.

PK said...

Hermione! Boy do I understand! Nick and Ron sound so much alike! All my fantasies are all about punishment too not that I don't completely enjoy everything we do but those old fantasies will probably never go away.

When we play, sex nearly always follows and that is great but there are sometimes when one or both of us don't have the time or energy for sex but I would still like a good spanking!

I could us some motivations! I go to the gym 4 or 5 days a week. I sill don't like it and often drag my feet about going. A good spanking when I whine or complain about it would be wonderful to get me out the door! And nothing would make exercise more tolerable than a sore butt!!


Michael said...

Hermione, things are so much better when people communicate. That can solve so many problems and I am happy that you and Ron do so to your mutual satisfaction.

Not that I'm wishing you any stess, the exact opposite actually, but I, and I'm sure all your other readers, would lke to know how your agreement fares during its first stress test.


Hermione said...

spankingbarbie - I'm glad too. they really do work.

PK - Some men are funny about that punishment thing.

Spanking sounds like a good motivation for working out, but you'd need to avoid the exercise bike!

Michael - Now that's stressing me out!! The first test will definitely be stressful.

Paul said...

Hermione, that was a major problem in my DD marriage, Mel liked being punished.
No spankings for a week was a punishment, but as our best sex always followed a spanking, I was being punished as well.
Writing lines while kneeling on the floor and PT that was both a deterrent and healthy, after I set that up the need to punish became rare.
Warm hugs,

PK said...

Paul I have to ask - PT? Explain please.


Hermione said...

Paul - Yes, that would be a problem. it sort of defeats the purpose of DD when spankings are so much enjoyed.

I also wondered what PT meant. Physical Training?