Monday, February 15, 2010

Romantic Fiction Again

Joining, another novel by Johanna Lindsay, is about (wait for it) a strong-willed young woman who rides and hunts with a bow. She's betrothed to a man she doesn't wish to marry, and there is plenty of rebellious behaviour.

Our prospective groom knows what he should have done:

He should have clouted her smartly as she deserved.

Yet he didn't. He knows there's going to be trouble and asks his friend for advice.

"But how do you teach a wench not to be a shrew when she is born a shrew?"

I have an idea. But he doesn't.

"The first time she narrows those cattish eyes at me..."
"You'll what?"
Wulfric sighed. "I wish I knew."

Obviously nobody thought to spank this lovely young lady. She had been out of control while growing up and was now considered hopeless.

They had tried everything they could without seriously hurting her, and mild punishments had done no good.

It's pretty obvious there will be no spanking in this book. A later conversation confirms that suspicion.

"When have I ever given you reason to think that I might beat you?"

Very little, unfortunately. The betrothed couple eventually marry, still at odds with one another. They were married, and there was one final episode that made me hope that all was not lost on the spanking front.

"Methinks 'tis time you got what you deserve." So saying, he took her hand, dragged her out of the hall, up the stairs, straight into their bedchamber, where he then slammed shut the door. She had not once tried to stop him, too shocked that this was to be the result of a few harsh words between them. But then she had known it would come to this eventually, and that she would despise him for it. She had expected no less from a brute such as he, had known to expect it, which was why she hadn't wanted to marry him. But so soon after the wedding?!

When she felt no blows yet, she forced herself to look at him... He was staring at her, but his expression was now inscrutable. She was herself so tense now, she could have shattered in a strong breeze.

"What are you waiting for?" She demanded, but got no answer. "Will you beat me or not?"

Wulfric still didn't answer for a moment, but then he sighed. "'Tis not a matter of 'will' but of 'can', and I cannot."
"I would rather cut off my own hand than cause you the least little harm."
She stared at him wide-eyed, and then she started to cry, those words having gone deep to wrench at her heart.

Perhaps she could get an annulment.

The two then discover that the reason for their mutual distrust was all a misunderstanding, and they lived as happily ever after as they could without spankings.

From Hermione's Heart


Indy said...

How terrible for you, Hermione, to make it all the way through and come up dry! Thanks for sharing these highly entertaining results of your efforts.

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

Are we seeing the sad effects here of some sort of political correctness applied to romantic relations?

What a sick story -- and I don't mean that in a good way!

But funny in a backwards ironic sort of way...

Hermione said...

Indy - Thank you. The book wasn't too interesting!

Karl - I certainly hope not!
And you're right, it wasn't very good at all. She has written some that are much better.


^Mike said...

I'm not the least surprised, for what more could one expect from a book whose cover art was a retouched picture of a Barbie and Ken doll (really)? And referring to a female of her status as a "wench"? Now of course, had he instead reduced her to a wench, there might've been some salvation for the story. Instead, this penny-dreadful should be valued only for the fodder it provides for engendering more interesting and imaginative scenarios than are depicted in its pages.

ronnie said...

How disappointing and you read it all the way through.


PS Congratulations to your fellow countryman, Alexandre Bilodeau for winning Gold x

Hermione said...

Mike - that picture was one I chose for the post. It has nothing to do with the book.

Ronnie - Thank you. we are all so proud of him, and pleased to have finally won a gold.