Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for April 10

If you didn't want to spank your man, would you feel comfortable if someone else did the deed?

Roz: Interesting question Hermione. I don't know, to me spanking was something personal between us that enhanced our relationship (it hasn't existed for some time now). Although, might be fun if I can watch?

I have spanked Rick on occasion, but have never really felt comfortable with it.

Bonnie: Spanking for us is an essential element of our sex life. We are monogamous and that would apply no matter who gets the spankings.

I've given Randy a stray swat on occasion, but purely as playful provocation. You can imagine how that story ends.

Abby Williams: Disclaimer to all readers: My red flags went up at this question. I had to decide if I wanted to answer, but it was going to bug me if I didn't. This is my opinion, and of course, what works for you, works for you, and I do not in any way think I know better. This viewpoint only represents me and what works for me and my marriage, especially as we're now both exploring switching (only with one another). Here goes.

I'd like to answer this from outside spanking explicitly. This question, as I'm reading it, is asking, "If there is something your partner wants, even needs, but you won't do it for whatever reason, is he/she free to go off and get it elsewhere?" No, no that's not okay, for either party. If it's something sexual, the partners need to discuss and explore and decide what works for both of them. If it's an emotional need, as seems to be implied in this question, the same answer applies. If the relationship is open, or open to polyamory, that's one thing, but if it's a monogamous relationship, the partners need to communicate, cooperate, and compromise. This applies to everything. Imagine being a woman in a relationship and telling your partner you want more oral sex, or more cuddling, or a more sympathetic ear when your heart hurts. Now imagine your partner telling you, "No, I don't do that, you can check Craigslist to see if someone local can do that for you." I feel like if you're going to be in a relationship, be in the relationship.

Yorkie: For my wife and I the answer is definitely no. Even though she hates it she still does it because she knows what it means to me and how grateful I am that she does it.

It is still an intimate activity that is purely sexual for me and therefore, in our committed monogamous marriage neither of us would contemplate engaging in this activity with anyone else.

Wishing you all lots of delicious spanking.

Baxter: Early in our marriage, I broached the subject about my wife spanking me and she said no, absolutely no that is perverted. Well I went into my shell for many years, still wanting it but reading spanking fiction. Fast forward, my wife asked to read one of my spanking fiction books and I gave her one by Fiona Locke. She read a few stories and looked at me and asked if I wanted a spanking and I said yes and dropped my pants. She spanks me on a regular basis.

Recently she said she was stupid in the early part of our marriage by not agreeing to spank me and said we could have been spanking for our entire 32 year marriage. Well that was good to hear but think of the hundreds of spankings not done. So as you can see, a marriage should be solid and neither go outside of it for anything. I think if one partner says they want to be spanked, the other should go along with it. The only person I would like to be spanked by other than my wife is her sister. For me it would only be someone different doing it but someone I trust and love, other than of course my wife.

Bogey: We don’t know it all.

What I think: Ideally, this would be discussed before marriage. But, most of us are too afraid of being seen as odd or perverted.

Spanking is not sexual for everyone. I find that odd, but it’s true.

Denying your partner what they need is selfish. To deny them seeking what you will not give is rooted in jealousy.

We are monogamous, but we have been spanked by others. She has been spanked a lot more than I have, simply because there are few women who enjoy spanking men. The spankings have been fun and enjoyable, but never sexual.

Now, here is Bacall’s answer. First she spanks me, but would be opposed to me being spanked by friend of mine, because she figures it would be sexual also. She is possessive, which is to her, different than jealousy. She is slightly more agreeable to me being spanked by a friend of hers. She would be more agreeable to a pro. But, prefers to keep things as they are. (Me too.)

I learned something about her this morning.

Sir Wendel: I do not have that problem. The missus is quite comfortable paddling my back end. I’m tempted to ask her about your question but my fear is an instant spanking. Hmmm, maybe that’s not a bad idea after all.

Ronnie: I say no as spanking is an intimate between us but if P decided he wanted to be spanked there would be no need for him to go to someone else to be spanked because I would definitely oblige.

Hermione: I know that this works for some couples, and seeing a professional for the sole purpose of being spanked is an option many men choose. But it's not for us. We are in a monogamous relationship and that applies to all forms of intimate activity, including spanking. Ron isn't the slightest bit interested in being on the receiving end, but if he were, I would give him what he needed.

Thank you all for taking part in this interesting discussion.