Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for August 21

This week our topic was Domestic Discipline, and those of you who aren't away on holiday, tending their gardens or watching the Olympics had these thoughts to share.

Dan: Hi Hermione. We are in a domestic discipline relationship, of the F/m variety. We have been doing it for over 10 years, and it works well for us. We don't do erotic spankings at all. Ours are all for disciplinary purposes. We feel like it empowers her and gives he a way to voice her displeasure with bad husband behavior in a very concrete way. For me, it satisfies a need for boundaries and to subject to some rules apart from my own. I think of it is as part of a quest for balance. I have a fairly domineering personality, and DD gives her a means of putting me in my place when I need it. It also helps her develop her own sense of power and leadership. So, while not for everyone, it works for us.

Wilma: I could write a very similar post to Dan but with reverse roles. We started out with Dd 4 years ago, give or take. As time has gone on we have ventured more into the D/s realm as well. Though I do now understand that Dd is a form of D/s. We do occasionally 'play' if you will in a BDSM form. This tends to be more of a reestablishing or augmentation of our roles.

Would I recommend Dd? It works for us, though the more D/s version works better ( seeing how I am such an angel). I will add however that Dd doesn't always 'fix' things. In fact there can be a whole lot of messiness associated with it at times. Any problems that may have been present before Dd don't just magically disappear with it. It takes a lot of time, energy, effort and determination with both parties to maintain it. Coasting really isn't an option. ( Of course one could argue it isn't an option in a vanilla relationship either...it just seems to be more obvious in a Dd one for some reason). The highs are very high, and sometimes the lows can be very low,that is until a balance is achieved...then you grow and change and start all over again! LOL.

Roz: We started with spanking for erotic fun and as part of D/s play then decided we wanted to expand it from the bedroom and introduced Dd to our relationship and continued to spank for play also. Dd is no longer part of our dynamic, although there are moments that our roles re-surface.

Dd brought many benefits such as a greater intimacy and communication and some of those benefits remain. While it worked well for us, it isn't for every couple.

Amy: Good Morning! We started out exploring and questioning if DD was for us; both intrigued but the idea of the whole thing. We ended up with a 51% 49% relationship that includes spanking for erotic play, resetting me when life get overwhelming and once in awhile, as punishment. In all cases, our communication with each other has grown leaps and bounds. If the interest is there, for both partners, explore it. Keep what works and move away from what doesn't.

Hermione: We do not have a Dd relationship; ours is very much a D/s one. Spanking is done for erotic pleasure, not punishment. Ron has other ways of keeping me in line when my behaviour doesn't please him. Some couples thrive on a Dd dynamic, but it just isn't for us.

Thank you to all who responded. I would still like to hear from those of you who aren't in a Dd relationship. What's your opinion of it? It's not too late! Leave your reply as a comment here.