Alan: Great question and there will probably be multiples of my answer. But I had no idea how much a real spanking would hurt or how much I would regret getting one during the spanking, only to have that memory almost completely erode within a couple of hours "post spanking". Closely related to that is surprise at how much power you give to your disciplinarian with little or no ability to take it back or even to resist it (without doing harm to the relationship). Knowing either one of those facts would not have changed my mind about wanting discipline but I would have been better prepared to deal with the vast difference between my fantasies and reality
Fred Bloggs: For years I thought I was the only person on the planet who thought about spanking in an erotic way. I thought I was weird. It would have been good to know there was a whole community out there just waiting for me to interact with them. That didn't happen until the internet became ubiquitous.
Wendel: Talk. Share your feelings about wanting to spank or be spanked.
Roz: So glad your eye surgery was so successful. It must feel like a new leaf on life. Love Ron's comment lol.
As for the question, I would say communicate, communicate, communicate! Talk about what each of you want from a TTWD relationship. Also, take things slowly and let things evolve. Don't put too many expectations on yourself or your partner.
Jack: The best advice is if you're getting the spanking and this is what you wanted, accept what comes. Do Not, Do Not especially if it's your wife , tell her how to and when to stop, trust me, you will do a spanking dance your wife will be proud of and remember.
Domhnall: What Mr. Bloggs said. Word for word.
Ronnie: Communication, communication and more communication. I know easier said than done, so if you do find it hard why not try writing it down and send it to your partner.
Prefectdt: Learn all that you can and then keep learning and allow others to learn about you, remember that there are always at least two people involved in a spanking. The more that you know about spanking and your spanking partner(s) and the more that they know about you will be the main factor that leads to the best play relationships.
Peter: When I confessed, (that is what it felt like) that I would like to be spanked. She knew that before our marriage I had gone to a female friend who would discipline me weekly. My wife liked my friend so I asked if she would be comfortable speaking to this lady.
She did and we agreed to try at least four session. She agreed. My former Domme came to dinner and after dinner disciplined me with a paddle and sometimes belt. MY wife watched and later admitted she was aroused by it. She then met with my former Domme who taught my wife how to spank with,
hand, belt or paddle.
I must confess my wife took to it at once. Here we are now 6 years later and we have refined the rules. More and more I have no say. That has done wonders for our sex as well as our daily life. More and more I discover how deeply my submission desires go. She determines why and how and with what instrument A week hasn't gone by that I have not been disciplined. An yes, Mr Bloggs is correct.
Barrel: When I started thinking about this question, I felt my answer would be built around honesty with my wife about my need to be disciplined, which is clearly expressed in the answers above. Clearly I feel that is a key for us. However, I also feel strongly with the comfort connecting with so many through these brunches. To me, this is such a welcoming and sharing community of people with the same needs and interests. I am more confident in this kink because of all of you. Thank you.
Bonnie: That's a whole blog post of a question. The short answer is that there is no one right way to have a spanko relationship. There are lots of variations that can work. Build one that fits you.
Rich Person: There are a lot of variations in what people in the community like to do. It's worth searching for the person who best matches what you want to do, because getting that dynamic right is important to the overall relationship and how satisfied you'll be with it.
Hermione: Communication is essential, but be careful before you divulge too much. My ex thought it was weird and a sign of mental illness. He was great at lowering my self-esteem. But then, he was in the mental health industry, and when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail. With the discovery of the internet and all the spanking enthusiasts out there, I realized that I was not weird after all. I let Ron make the first move with spanking. I didn't talk to him about it, although he must have guessed from my collection of spanking novels on the top shelf.
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