Welcome! Is everyone following the new "No mow in May" trend? Our street has a series of lawns decked with nodding yellow dandelions nearly obscuring the green grass. I hope everyone has access to heavy duty mowers and balers come June. Ron is far too obsessive to allow the grass on our lawn to grow more than two inches in height to forgo mowing. Luckily for the bees, we have plenty of naturalized areas for them to feed on.
Let's discuss a topic that Rosco, one of our most faithful brunch attendees, suggested. I'll let him present it in his own words.
I’m always interested in hearing the often awkward stories of how someone tried to interest a partner in spanking, but it didn’t go well. Also stories where an opportunity was missed with thoughts of what might have been.
Please leave your response as a comment, and I will publish an edited summary of our discussion once everyone has had a chance to speak.
Glory to Ukraine
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12 comments:
When I first tried to get hubby to do some spanking... oh, my gosh, you want to talk about awkward! I couldn't say it out loud, of course. So I blabbed out a bunch of nonsense in a letter, spent a week (at least) avoiding eye contact and when we eventually did get around to trying, I spent the whole time trying to shush him (didn't want the whole house to hear and it sounded like thunder in my ears), he didn't want to overdo it, so it was barely up to porn level spanking and the whole thing just ended in a fit of giggles. It was YEARS before I tried again.
I also have a missed opportunity. I met this great guy once, he was renting a room in my father's house. When I stayed to housesit for a couple years while my dad was living with his aging parents, I came to know this guy pretty well. He was great with my only child at the time. He drove me to the hospital when I went into labor with my second child. He was new to Canada from Egypt, and would always as me what the proper way to say something was. Like, "You have nice thighs," was actually meant to be, "You have a nice ass." So we just had a lot of fun together.
Anyway... we, uh, ended up at a hotel with my brother and his girlfriend on Valentine's day. I remember hiding in the bathroom calling my brother's room cuz I was nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof and was hurrying them along so we could go to dinner. This guy seemed more interested in having me for dinner! No, I wasn't scared, I wasn't in any danger or anything like that, but he was probably more man than I was ready to handle. I think I was about 26 at the time. After dinner, we all made our way back to our rooms... As we got off the elevator, he scooped me up, literally threw me over his shoulder, and I gotta say, it was probably one of the best nights (sexually) that I've EVER had. The following weekend, I was head over heels in love with my hubby and though me and the other guy stayed pretty good friends for awhile, we eventually drifted. I just wonder what would have happened if I'd realized at the time what his feelings were for me. I thought we were just having some fun.
One of the awkward moments for me was when I first started working. We had a woman in our department who always talked about the crazy sex stuff she did with her husband. One was that she had to buy wrist straps with quick release buckles to get free when the husband fell asleep after sex. Another morning she came in walking crooked. She explained that her husband whipped her butt before sending her to work. The woman was not shy about showing marks and hiked up her skirt so we could see the damage. I can say that he did a good job.
I do not remember exactly what I said to convince the Misses to take the first spanking. Fate would have it that the Misses enjoys it as much I do.
When I first requested that my vanilla wife spank me, it was not well received. She did not like me spanking her, even gently, and thought it should be mutual. It was not. Finally, I revealed to her that I went from “spanking-adverse” to “spanking-attracted” as a young child. I found it surprising, but true. I thought there was something wrong with me psychologically, and I certainly did not want anyone to know about it. (There was no Internet then to calibrate my understanding.) I was afraid I would lose her respect, but I underestimated her; I did not. Eventually, we worked out an arrangement in which she would paddle me on a regular basis – hard enough to generate genuine pain, to satisfy my perceived need for such. She only does it “because she loves me,” and I love her for it.
Doug
In our case we were fortunate in that we both had an interest in spanking so talking about it happened fairly easily. The most awkward moment was the first discipline spanking after we decided we wanted to extend spanking beyond play and incorporate DD. Neither of us were quite sure how to go about it lol.
Hugs
Roz
The woman I was seeing was older, our sex life was good, but unlike the younger women I dated, it seemed no subject was off limits. I recall laying in bed, she beside me and out of the blue said what do you find hard to get from a woman. I said nothing at first and then playing with her breast when ask such a question I tell the truth and say spankings. She said and the response you get, not interested, either getting or giving and the relationships ends. She noticed I was getting hard again, thinking of giving or getting, I said getting. It was two weeks or so, after a night out, that in the morning she said we are going to have a talk about last night. I looked at her, she said this is the type of talk that we are going to have and showed me her large hairbrush. You mentioned spankings, well young man, your getting one and I was soon over her lap, bare bottom and feeling the sting of the hairbrush. After a few spanks I said, okay, no more, it hurts. Good she said, you wanted a spanking and I have been wanting to give you a spanking. I was pleading, begging for her to stop, when she did I danced around the room, my pants and underpants i had kicked off. Enough she said, i looked at her, she pointed to the wall, I said No, wrong answer. Holding my clothes, then saying to take off my shirt, I was soon facing the wall. Thankful no one dropped in, but for saying No to her, once the wall time was done, I got another spanking, and said welcome to a new part of our relationship. Jack
This probably isn't squarely on point, but for us, the "it didn't go well" part really applies only to erotic spankings. I don't really recall exactly how I proposed experimenting with spanking, but it definitely was me who introduced it. She initially was game for it. From the beginning, it had a "disciplinary" component, but it was just playacting. She would pretend to be in control and would give me "play" spankings, with a flimsy leather paddle, for real offenses. We were both pretty young at the time, and I had some maturity issues. The way it played out was she got wise to the fact that she was basically doing something I wanted, i.e erotic spankings, as a response to real offenses. In other words, she was reinforcing bad behavior. She put an end to those spankings.
A few months later, I stumbled on the Disciplinary Wives Club website. That was the first time I'd even heard of using spankings for actual adult discipline. For some reason, bringing that form of spanking up to her was way, way more awkward than suggesting we play around with erotic spankings. I think it was probably about the fact that the latter didn't involve any real power exchange or rearrangement of any kind of hierarchy, while the former was a real change in the relationship dynamics. I really thought she might be turned off by the whole thing. I still remember in vivid detail how awkward it was talking to her about it. Surprisingly, she was again game to try it, and this time it did go well.
Other than that, there have been no "didn't go well" or missed opportunities around spanking. I was one of those odd instances of someone who didn't discover my spanking interest until pretty late, in my mid-30s. Until then, I had no inkling that adult spanking was even a thing.
I have a couple missed opportunities from early in my career. When I first started working there was a beautiful girl with an amazing body my age who worked in another department. We used to flirt with each other a lot in the hallways, but we were both seeing other people. One day I need to make a photo copy and the machine was in its own room. When I got to the hallway in front of the door she was coming out. We said hello and then I went in only to find a sign that said the machine was out of order. I went back out and she was in the hallway giggling. As I approached her, I asked why she didn't save me the trip. She just stood there smiling but he hands we on her bottom like she was protecting it. I figured what the hell and walked up to her and told her she was a bad girl and pretended to spank her. She just giggled even more. Soon after I got a new job and I never did get a chance to give her a proper spanking.
At another job I had my first opportunity to be a supervisor, I had this young woman named Jane working for me who prided herself on never making any mistakes. I had her do as series of calculations for me that were very complicated. When I reviewed them one did not make any sense until I went back and redid it. When I showed Jane that she made a simple calculating mistake, not at all a big deal, she looked at me and said "I am sorry, you can spank me if you want to"
I must admit I did not handle the opportunity like they do in the spanking stories but got all flustered and told her that would not be necessary.
My third story of missed opportunity was when I was starting another job and filling out the paperwork. I was about 30 at the time but looked about 20 years old. The secretary in the HR department must have thought I was just starting out when in reality I was going to be head of a department. There were tons of forms that basically asked for the same information over and over and I was getting tired of the process and needed to get to a meeting with my new boss. I asked the secretary if I signed the forms if she would fill them out for me as I was in a hurry. She looked at me and said that was not her job and if I did not fill them out correctly she was going to spank me. I said okay and finished them up myself. I then decided to brat her a little and she threaten to spank me a couple more times before I was finished. When I was all done I gave her the completed paperwork and she told me I was a good boy and she was happy she did not have to carry out her threats. I smiled and left. Later I saw her and she came up to me all white and said she did not realize I was the new vice president and she hoped she had not offended me. I told her I thought it was all in good fun and she did what she needed to do to get me to do the paperwork and for her not to give it a second thought. I still wonder to this day if I should have pushed her a little more?
Tried to post a comment to this earlier but it disappeared. Giving it another try.
My initial attempt to interest my wife in spanking "didn't go well" in the long run, but it wasn't because it didn't interest her. Instead, it was about the form the spanking took. I don't recall much about how I originally suggested that we explore spanking, though I am sure I was the one who did the suggesting. That first time, it was about purely erotic spankings, but it involved playacting in which she would give me pretend, i.e. erotic, spankings for real offenses. It was early in our marriage, we were both pretty young and, unfortunately, I had some maturity issues. She became increasingly frustrated with my behavior and connected the dots that she was essentially rewarding my bad behavior with erotic spankings. Therefore, she stopped spanking entirely. In that sense, the first instance of getting her interested in spanking did not go well.
Several months later, I stumbled on the Disciplinary Wives Club website, which emphasized real disciplinary spankings. I asked my wife to check it out. On that attempt, the conversation itself was incredibly awkward, and the fact that I remember every bit of that conversation and nothing about the conversation around our first attempt speaks volumes. I think the big difference is that the erotic spankings were, in fact, just playacting and didn't involve any kind of actual power exchange. Proposing real disciplinary spankings, on the other hand, involved suggesting a real change in who had the power to decide, and enforce, the rules of the relationship. That was way more embarrassing to propose and, therefore, the conversation was way more awkward. But, on that second attempt, it worked well.
There weren't any other instances of trying to interest someone in spanking. I'm one of those atypical spankos who didn't have any interest in spanking until I was in my late 30s, after I was already married. Until then, I had no idea adult disciplinary spankings were even a thing, and I don't recall having any real interest in erotic spankings.
"...tried to interest a partner in spanking, but it didn’t go well."
I always thought my interest in spanking girls was worthy of PRISON! So evil and deranged I buried it internally and never spanked any girl, even in jest. Eventually I dated a beautiful woman who tricked me into spanking her. She later told me she never brought up spanking because she was afraid I would think she was a pervert. And then I told her I never mentioned it because I was afraid she would think the same of me!! Life got very good.
But bringing it up is as DELICATE an act as you can get.
The next woman I merely HINTED it to gave me a look and said she could never do that.
Another, again with the tiniest of HINTS, reacted strong and loud that spanking as sex play was PERVERTED!
OK. Message sent!
A 3rd wasn't a "Yes!", but wasn't a "No!" either. It was a timid and reluctant, "Well...OK. If it's not hard." I spanked her otk and lightly, and she was OK with it. Later I asked her to spank me - and she did! We spanked each other after that, but for every one I gave her, she gave me 2-3. All were fun (I don't do or take punishment-level spanking) and always led to sexy-time.
As for "...stories where an opportunity was missed with thoughts of what might have been."
I was seeing this terrific girl and KNEW she was wild and adventurous. One day (while sunbathing nude on the deck of my beach house) she asked what turned me on and I said spanking and, "Would you be willing to spank me?"
SURE!!!!!
And she did! And then let me spank her.
After some sexy-time she asked me what other top-fantasy I would love to have. One where the woman I'm with is upset because I was sexually "inattentive," and take me to her favorite disciplinarian to correct that. Where I get spanked in front of her. Followed by the disciplinarian ordering me to "do" the girlfriend right there and then, while she "supervises" with a strap in her hand for "encouragement."
In a dry-mouthed husky voice I never heard outside of a Hollywood horror movie, she stares right at me and said, "I would so do that."
I was stunned.
She then got on her iPhone, opened up her photos, and began looking at her friends trying to find one she thought could be the disciplinarian. With me looking on and commenting with her! Talk about a day!!!
The bad part? Timing, logistics, schedules all got in the way and it never happened. And you asked ...what might have been!" (Sigh.....)
A.J.
Tried it with two vanilla partners, long ago. Same result from both. Immediate end to any relations, emotional and physical.
Prefectdt
About a million years ago in college I had my first real girlfriend and playtime partner. We were very attracted to each other but didn't get along very well. One night during playtime she was annoyed at me and gave me a few spanks. She sensed pretty quickly that I was not opposed to her doing so. A bit later on another night in similar circumstances she said, "one of these days I am going to give you a real spanking", to which I was so flustered I could only reply "that would be interesting". Unfortunately we parted ways shortly after that and her promise was never carried out :-(
((n retrospect with greater understanding I realize that I was the cause of much of the not getting along, and that my remembrance of that is part of my subconscious desire to be taken in hand. What would have happened if I had recognized that at the time I can't say, but I don't think I had the concepts to understand at the age of 20)
I am honored again that Hermione is inspired by my suggestion (another might be missed opportunities if that has not been covered).
My first (not awkward) experience came about by accident. A girl and I were play wrestling/flirting and she kicked me between the legs. Not hard, but hard enough. We were on the beach (it was night), so I bent her into diaper position and gave her semi-protected bottom (she was wearing short shorts) several sharp slaps. I would have done it longer but thought she might freak out or others nearby would hear. But she kicked me again, so I spanked her again - a bit longer. Then we repeated a third time. This all led to my first make out session and then to third base. But sadly, I never saw her after that night.
A couple of years later I had my first real girlfriend. She bragged she was adventurous, so I asked her if she would spank me. She turned me down in a way that set me back for years.
Eight years later, I had a girlfriend with a wonderfully chubby bottom. On a whim one day, I pulled up her skirt and spanked her. Her response was "I don't think I like that", but she said it nicely. She must have told one of her friends, because a bit later the friend threatened to spank me with a hockey stick (I sadly failed to respond appropriately).
One year after that I met the woman who I would marry. She had no interest in being spanked but would be happy to try to spank me. It took a few times for her to understand I wanted a serious spanking. Now, forty years later, I think she likes dishing it our more than I like getting it.
- Rosco
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