Have you ever regretted using a safeword?
Roz: We do have a safe word though I don't think I have ever used it. I have however made enough of a fuss otherwise vocally or with my actions that Rick has stopped spanking on occasion and I have regretted not seeing the spanking through to the end.
Bonnie: Yes, it's happened. I'm not always the best judge of my own state of mind and body while a serious spanking is in progress. I've called a safeword too early and too late at different times. In both scenarios, I regretted my lapse.
Simon: I have never used a safe word or ever had a safe word. I find that if playing with someone new a proper discussion about what is wanted and limits etc means you don't need one. All the ladies I play with know I will stop if they ask or that I will ask them to stop if I'm on the receiving end. I have sometimes had to ask a lady to stop beating me usually if the weather is very hot and I become faint from being bent over or similar. Only once have I had to ask a lady to stop because of the severity of the punishment and that was during my first and only experience of o sjambok an implement that I don't recommend to anyone.
Luvinhub: I regretted using my safeword the one time that I did however I on the other hand had become unsafe for my own wellbeing. It was the worst spanking I have ever received in my WLM though it was warrented. I had already received a paddling when my wife switched to my thick leather belt. It was the first time with a belt and the belt was wide and heavy. She was spanking me and I was doing all that I could to endure and "avoid". I was thrashing around; because of that there were a couple of hits that were not where they belonged. It was my fault. I needed to get control of myself so I used my safeword. She stopped, we talked, then she finished the punishment with the belt.
Jack: Safeword? Not in this family, unless pleading with Mommy to stop and promising to be good, that does not work either.
KDPierre: No, no really. Certain stops were definitely needed for a variety of reasons the Top in question would not have been aware of. (I discovered yelling "nosebleed!" definitely works in a situation where a formal safeword hasn't been established. LOL) And as others have written, there were times when something felt unendurable but after a pause I felt I could have taken more....but in each instance, it was very simple to just discuss it and resume. Pauses, adjustments, accommodations - all good reasons for using a safeword and not one negates the power within a situation or diminishes the disciplinary aspect if both parties are acting in good faith. My number one use of a safeword is to call for a pause to ask for a change in pace, not severity. If I'm being seriously disciplined, I have no intention in minimizing the pain in my punishment, but I also have no wish for my punishment to include having a heart attack. LOL Most reasonable Tops tend to agree. ;-)
Anon: No safeword here - I am the one who gets the spanking and I have to trust that my wife knows what she is doing. If we had a safeword then I would have some power but I don't want that and I don't think she does either.
Wendel: We have a safeword. It is reserved for emergencies not because we want the actual spanking to stop.
Prefectdt: No, but I was a bit miffed when a Top used the equivalent of a safeword on me, as in she refused to spank me any more. Then she shoved me in front of a mirror, to show me the damage back there and I could see that she had done the right thing.
Sore is More: I can offer a snippet from a new story that does involve a safeword.
It's a bit of a Dead Dove Do Not Eat variety, so proceed at your own
risk. I promise there is a happy ending, as Aldous is her evil
ex-husband, she left years ago.
The memories that are flooding
her brain, no, she's never going to tell Nick any of this. How she was
lying on that rocking spanking bench, ball-gagged, hands tied behind her
back, whipped into delirium, whimpering. How Aldous stepped on the
runner to stop the bench from moving and pulled the gag out of her
mouth.
"What were you trying to say, doll?" he asked.
"Don... Don Quixote," she whispered her safeword.
"Too bad, I'm done now." How the cold lube splattered on the small of her back. "What do you say now, doll?"
"Please, Aldous, please. I learned my lesson!"
Hermione: We have never discussed using a safeword, and I have never felt the need for one. Our spankings are for fun and foreplay, and if I were ever in real distress, I could stop the action immediately. Ron can tell from my voice when I am in real discomfort, and he eases up, but doesn't stop.
Stay safe, everyone!
Glory to Ukraine
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1 comment:
I don't have a personal story with a safeword, but I will note that in public places I've been, the word "Safeword" is considered a safeword.
Also, I have seen people use different shades, like "yellow" to indicate a need to check in and "red" for full stop. It can be useful to have something to trigger some straight time, but allow you to go back to activity after you fix the immediate problem.
Then, for those situations where I've had my submissive bound and gagged, I give them my set of keys to hold on to. Dropping the keys is the signal to take the gag out (and then go from there), because even if they can't talk, the keys hitting the (usually cement) floor is enough to notice.
And finally, for someone in restraints, a common way to check in is to squeeze the submissive's hand. If they are okay, they can squeeze back a couple times to signal they're still cool.
I always recommend "SM 101" by Jay Wiseman as a good primer. It's based on enormous experience in the field.
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