You Completed the Caption

What's cooking? Here are your captions:

Six of the Best: The husband says to his wife. "Honey, I would love 'rump' steak. So bare that bottom of yours, for I am going to make it sizzling hot.

Vfrat25000: Wally and the Beaver came home from school one afternoon to find out that Mrs Cleaver had just returned from the day spa following a rather amazing makeover.

"You want something to eat or something SWEET"

Oh look I burned the bacon. I am a naughty, naughty girl...!

Shake...Rattle and Roll

The enrollment in the basic cooking classes markedly increased after the school board hired Miss Pauline Wigglebottom as the instructor. Even the entire football team enrolled.

Meow: Right hand - WIN! Left hand - FAIL!

Ronnie: "Honey, don't worry I'm not going to spank you with the saucepan lid, just this fish slice."

Michael: "OH, MY, you really expect me to cook for you on this stovie thingy while I'm dressed like this? And no, I will NOT hand you this spatula!" *foot stomp*

A Lurker: Eggs-actly what are you cooking up with this spatula, dear?

Mitch: My Mama always told me to "put a lid on it before I give you something to cry about." I never understood until just now.

dd: Sweetie I was just trying to point out, before I was rather rudely interrupted, that this is what spatulas are supposed to be used for.

Lea:  A twist on an old song comes to mind.
"Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah,
Someone's in the kitchen I know,
Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah,
Spanking her 'til she goes Ooooh."

Prefectdt: "Spatula on your butt or lid around your ear hole? Your choice boy!"

Hermione: Which would you like first, sting or thud?


Thank you to all who responded and to those who didn't but enjoyed a good laugh. See you all next time! 

Complete the Caption

Something's cooking in the kitchen, and I don't mean breakfast.

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will publish your menus and meal ideas in tomorrow's post.

Friday Fail

Some people are just plain weird!

Amuse, Abuse

Although we have planned weekly spankings, Ron loves to launch unexpected sneak attacks whenever he can. Recently I was clearing some clutter off the coffee table - something Ron is very strict about, because I tend to use it as a dumping ground - when I suddenly felt a sharp smack on my bottom.

I froze and held my breath. It was soon followed by several more. I thought this was slightly odd; after all, I was clearing off the table before the piles got too high.

"I hope you're amusing yourself," I remarked a bit sarcastically.

Ron  didn't miss a beat. "Amusing myself; abusing yourself," and gave me a final pat to send me on my way.

Not abuse, of course. I loved every minute of it.

Wednesday WIN

Togetherness

While it's a well-known fact that the couple that spanks together stays together, there are other forms of togetherness.

An umbrella built for two. How sweet! (from boredpanda.com)

This is just too much togetherness!

From the Top Shelf - Enslaved

"The Slave" by Julia Morizawa is about a man and a woman who are passionately involved with one other, but only in. A physical way. They are not committed; love is not part of the equation. Well, not for a while, anyway. But here's a peek at some of their fun.

We liked to play games with each other. Our favourite was when he played the Master and I was his Slave. He'd call me up in the middle of the night and demand a full-body massage. If I was in the mood, which I often was, I'd make the short drive to his apartment, struggle to find parking, and enter his room at his complete service. When I'd arrive, I'd find him already in bed, lying on his stomach completely naked. I could see the stiffness in his toned, hairless back. The relaxed muscles of his ass. The blond hair coating the skin on his legs. I often wanted to climb on top of him right then and there. But I knew I had to be a good girl and be patient, giving him what he had called me over for first.... Sometimes the massage would last for as long as half an hour, but usually, he'd want to take it elsewhere after several minutes. He'd flip me over, interrupting his work.

"Get off of me! Lay down on the bed," he'd demand.

I'd do as I was told, knowing what would be coming. He kept a line of rope wrapped loosely around one of the bedposts. He'd use it to tie my wrists together above my head and secure me to the bed. I wasn't allowed to talk unless he gave me permission or wanted answer to a question. I'd have to finish everything I said with "Master."

...He'd ask me if he was better than other men. If he had more stamina. If he made me come better and faster. He'd demand I talk dirty to him. He'd demand I describe how I wanted him to fuck me and where. And who would be watching. Eventually, I'd say something that didn't satisfy him.

"That's not what I want to hear!" he'd scream.  Then he'd flip me over, my wrists still attached to the bedpost. He'd grab me by the waist and force me onto my knees. He'd pull his arm back and slap my ass. He'd slap me so hard I could feel the heat soar up into my arms. And he wouldn't stop until I'd apologized. I'd hold out until the pain was too much to take.

"I'm sorry, Master," I'd cry out. "Please forgive me, I'll do what ever you want, Master."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise, Master."

He'd stop the hits, but keep his hand tight around my ass, pulling the cheeks wide apart.

"I believe you," he'd respond. "But this will teach you to be more careful next time."

From The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica, Volume 8, edited by Maxim Jakubowski.