Spanked by Man's Best Friend

This dog's obviously into spanking. He even manages to find the bottom once in a while.



It's not too late to Complete the Caption!

Complete the Caption

Oh, dear, what could the matter be?
Johnny's so long at the fair.

Oops, sorry, that just slipped out. Anyway, to get back to business, what is the elegantly-dressed woman pointing out to her companion?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will publish your captions in a subsequent post.

Arnica Revisited

Several years ago I wrote about buying arnica to reduce the amount of bruising on my bottom after a spanking. Back then, the only place you could buy it was in tiny sidestreet natural products shops. You had to ask for it because it wasn't out on display, and you were afraid the clerk would guess the reason you needed it.

Now it seems to be available everywhere - even at Walmart. There are advertisements for it in many popular magazines, and probably on television too. (I wouldn't know because I always fast-forward through the commercials.)






But did you know there is a cheap and simple alternative? Ron recently sent me an email full of helpful household hints. One of them was this:

Vinegar to heal bruises... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.


You might find this one helpful too:

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief... it's not for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your bottom for soothing relief from post-spanking pain.


Who knew?

From the Top Shelf - Andy's in Trouble Again

A few weeks ago we met Andy, from Tales from a Switch by Rollin Hand.   A husband and father, Andy behaved more like an over grown boy, until his wife decided to "take him in hand" for his antics. That settled him down for a while, but it seems he's up to his old tricks again.

Andy was actually pretty good for awhile after that. Oh, he was still his irreverent self, but he restrained his most over-the-top impulses. But you can’t keep a good man down, I suppose, and truth is, I wouldn’t want him to change. All I wanted was for him to stop doing things that were stupid and had potential to hurt us or himself. So when the phone rang at 2 am on a Saturday night in the Summer, I thought, ‘Oh, no. What now’?

The boys in Andy’s informal gang had gone fishing. They were going to get back late after cooking the fish they caught (right!) at the campground by the lake. But now here was Andy saying I had to come and get him. And I naturally had to ask what had happened.

They had all gone in Phil’s SUV and it seems that Phil’s SUV was now stuck in a ditch. Well, it sounded innocent enough, but I’d learned that with Andy, sometimes things are not what they seem.

I picked up a rather sheepish Andy and the two of the guys (I was the only one with a big SUV to haul everyone), but Phil’s wife had come to get Phil because he might need stitches for his head, they said.

On the ride home the story came out. They had sat around the fire after it got dark and Andy and Rob and Gary had started talking about Bigfoot and how they’d heard that years ago there had been Bigfoot sightings here and how now some game warden had found strange footprints. So then Andy says he’s got to take a leak. He’s gone for a bit and next thing you know, Bigfoot comes crashing out of the woods snarling and growling. Well, of course it’s Andy in a gorilla suit, but Phil, who is a nice guy but very gullible, starts screaming and jumps up, runs to his truck, jumps in, steps on it and rams it into the ditch hitting his head on the steering wheel. Meanwhile all the other guys are cracking up.

Rob’s wife Helen is fuming when I get him home and they have to tell her the story. “Dammit, Rob! Of all the damn fool things, you just sleep somewhere else tonight.”

I said to Helen, “Don’t be too hard on him, Helen. Everyone’s ok. You know, boys will be boys.”

So after I drop off Rob and Gary I said to Andy, “What in God’s name were you thinking?”

And he said, “It was just a joke. Who knew Phil would jump in his truck in a panic like that?”

And I said, “A big hairy monster comes tearing out of the woods and you wonder why Phil panicked?”

Andy finally admitted that maybe this one was a little over the top. I told him that there were going to be some
consequences for this one and he said “What do you mean?”

I told him he knew what I meant, and he just groaned. Then he asked hopefully, “What happened to ‘boys will be boys’?”

I said “Andy, I know boys will be boys and it should have been a good joke, but things went wrong and now Phil’s hurt. And you guys should pay for any damage to the truck. Meanwhile I’m going to remind you why this was not a good idea. Yeah, boys will be boys and when they are they get boy-type consequences.”

I told him we’d deal with it the next day, I was too tired. The next morning Andy wa not in bed and I came down to find breakfast all made and Andy bright as a cherub. I told him it was very nice and considerate for him to do this and I loved him dearly, but I also said that he should send the kids out to play as we had some business.

Andy’s face fell. Maybe he thought I’d relent, but he should have known that once I set on a course, there’s no turning back. We did the dishes together and when the last plate had gone in the dishwasher I said, “Ok my sweet man, downstairs with you. Right now.” I gave him a pat on the butt to urge him along. Andy rolled his eyes but he knew not to argue.

I went upstairs to look for something suitable. This was sort of at a different level than the prior time.  Someone could have been hurt. Andy had several leather belts and I selected a wide one that looked like it should go with outdoor garb. It was nice and supple and when I folded it back on itself it was about 18 inches long.

Andy saw the belt in my hand and swallowed hard. “Are you…?” he asked pointing at the belt. I said, “I think this is appropriate for boyish hijinks. I understand that this is the instrument of choice in woodsheds everywhere. So let’s get going. Turn around, face the back of the sofa and lower those pants.” Andy stifled a groan but undid his belt and let his pants drop. “Briefs too, dear.” Andy started to protest but I was firm. Andy shucked his underwear down to his knees.

I said, “Look at it this way. You feel bad about Phil and you feel bad about hauling me out in the middle of the night. So I’m going to give you a licking with this belt alright, but then it’s done. By the time I’m done you will have paid for this little screw-up. So bend over and hold on.”

Andy bent over, bottoms up. I put my hand on the small of his back to steady him and reared back with the belt. It came down with a thwack! and a red band appeared across Andy’s bottom cheeks. Andy sucked in his breath but stayed still and I let him have another. Then another. More red bands appeared. Andy kept up a steady stream of “whew!...ahh….owww!” but I whipped the belt down across his rear end repetitively, about once every five seconds. One time Andy started to stand up, but I just said, “Stay down, we’re not done yet.”

Andy said, “For God’s sake Rachael, how many more?”

I had lashed him maybe twenty-five times and his butt was getting very red so I said, “Ten more and count each one.” I decided these would be a little harder so he’d remember, so I stood back, measured my distance and really let him have it. The belt thwacked and he yelled, “Oww…one.” The result was the same for the remaining nine. I took my time, lined up the stroke and delivered it square across both cheeks. The loud splat! and Andy’s yelp of distress told me that these last few licks were imprinting the lesson well.

I told Andy to stand, and like the last time, I went to him, took him in my arms and kissed him passionately. I told him to take the belt upstairs and put it away, but someplace where he’d know where it was. As he pulled up his pants I could see that he had an erection. That night we made love and it was as passionate as the first time.

We both realized by now that there was something about a whipping that made us both randy. Andy admitted this to me later. “My butt was blazing for hours afterward, but later it was just a warm glow and I started to feel aroused. But just so you know, I’d rather have my sex without a whipping first if you don’t mind.”

And I said, “Stick to the straight and narrow, my love, and that belt will stay right where you put it.”

I hope Andy has learned his lesson.

Recap: Spanko Brunch for March 9

Today's topic of fictional characters that need a good spanking generated some enthusiastic responses.

Joey: I would like to see Ironman spanked by his assistant Pepper. In the Ironman movies, Robert Downey is very arrogant and treats his assistant badly. Ideally, Pepper would cane him on his bare bottom.

mouse: Ooooh currently reading Gone with the Wind and Scarlett needed to be spanked and often by someone who knew how...
By who? None other than Rhett.

Awesome question...

Prefectdt: Love this subject :)

Game of Thrones is my favourite TV series, at the moment. I would like to see King Joffrey Barathion (Jack Gleeson) thoroughly thrashed, with a nice whippy strip of dragon's bone, by Melisandre the red priestess (Carice Van Houten). Melisandre can set the bone on fire first, just to make it extra interesting.

@Joeyred 51 - back in October 2011 I did a "Women Who Should Be Spankers" post about Gwyneth Paltrow, as Pepper Potts, being a spanker. Kinky minds think alike :)

Dr. Ken: Oh, heavens--between the movies I've seen and all the TV I watch, there's so dang many to choose from!

Shall I take the obvious choice here? Hermione Granger, as played by Emma Watson in the Harry Potter movies, finally gets a good spanking from Ron Weasley for her "know-it-all" attitude....

Lily (Alyson Hannigan) spanked by her husband, Marshall, on How I Met Your Mother.

Felicity Smoak (Emily Bett Rickards) spanked by Oliver Queen in the TV show, Arrow.

Sarah Michelle Gellar--it didn't happen on Buffy, maybe it could happen on her new show, The Crazy Ones.

We've seen Amy Farrah Fowler spanked on The Big Bang Theory--how about spankings for the other two girlfriends, Penny and Bernadette?

I could go on (and on), but I'll force myself to stop here... :-)

PK Corey: I agree completely with mouse. I remember being fairly young when my mother took me to see this one time when it came through town. My favorite part was when he threatened her with a buggy whip, I was disappointed when he didn't follow through - though I thought a good hard OTK hand spanking would have been even better.

Baxter: Most any of the women who James Bond flirted with throughout his movies. OK, how about the woman played by Halle Berry. And probably spanked by Pierce Brosnan who was James Bond.

Sunny girl: The first one that comes to mind is just like Mostly Mouse said. Rhett & Scarlett. Frankly, Ashley could have used a good spanking too, he should have told Scarlett that he had no romantic interest in her from the get go.

Autumn: This is a good one! I would have LOVED a spanking scene between Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice (after all, she's pretty feisty and headstrong). Too bad Jane Austen wasn't a spanko.

Six of the best: Miss Pennypacker of James Bond fame, needs to be given 'Six of the Best', with a pliable stinging cane, across her bare bottom.

The recent Masters and Johnson series on television. Where Masters takes Miss Johnson over his knees for a jolly good spanking on her bare bottom. Of course wearing suspender-belt and stockings, that accent her derriere.

Es May: CC on The Nanny, she always was too smug, and by Niles, the Butler. She so got under his skin, in more ways than one. lol

Also, Bones often should get one from Booth, if for no other reason than to learn to let loose a little. :)

And would love to see Virginia get one from Burt in Raising Hope, just seems like they have all this energy, and that would only add to it. :)

Sir Wendel: Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Charlotte York and Miranda Hobbes from Sex and the City all need a good old fashioned bare bottom paddling with a wooden hairbrush.

Roz: Ooh, what a fun question Hermione. Some great suggestions above!

I think both Victoria and Emily on Revenge need a good spanking. Not sure who should spank Victoria but Jack should definitely spank Emily!

River: I love this topic. I have a hard time enjoying shows where men are constantly put down or spoken to condescendingly. I give Bones a second vote, and I also think Melinda from The Ghost Whisperer and Kenzie from Lost Girl could use a spanking or two! 

Simon: Oh, there are so many going right back to Mrs Peel, Tara King and Purdey all of whom should have been spanked by John Steed in The Avengers.

More recently Xena should have spanked Gabrielle, Buffy and Willow should have been spanked by Giles.

There were also spanking references in Blackadder 2 and The Vicar of Dibley and I would have enjoyed seeing Edmund spank Queenie and the vicar spank Alice. Alternatively I think I would like to have been spanked by Xena and Mrs Peel.

Anon: How about Snow White having all those frilly skirts turned up so that the Seven Dwarfs could all take turns to spank her bare bottom ?

Nina: The witch from the Chronicles of Narnia. I like Tilda Swinton in that part and would love to see her spanked by the very friendly Mr Tumnus.

Ronnie: Fun question. Would have made me laugh to see Sybil spank Basil in Fawlty Towers.

Yes, Scarlett should have been spanked by Rhett.

houston_switch: Six of the best, I agree. Virginia needs it bad. Great TV show!

Terpsichore: Well, technically a real person - it is a character from the Little House on the Prairie stories - Mrs. Olson. I am certain Mr. Olson would have been happy to take her over his knee.

Kiwigirliegirl: Excellent topic my first thought is Rhett and Scarlett and I like roz's suggestion too :-)

Loki Darksong: Top of my picks from TV series is Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds. I am not sure if any of her team should be her spanker. Plus, given what she does for the team, a spanking would be a stress relief for her.

Kaylee from Firefly is up next, with the Companion Inara as her spanker. She does seem the logical one to do it. I might even do a spanking fabric about this.

Penny and Bernadette from The Big Bang Theory is a given. But what about Raj's sister, Priya? She more than deserves a fair share given what she put Leonard through when they were dating. She should have a fun time on the receiving end of a hairbrush.


Hermione: I recently watched the movie Emma, based on the book by Jane Austen. I think that if Emma's tutor,  Mr. Knightly, has spanked her more often she wouldn't have been such a troublemaker. However, it's never too late.

Thomas the under-butler on Downton Abbey is also bad news, and Carson, the butler, needs to give him a good caning.

Finally, Cassie in Homeland should be spanked by her boss, Max, for disobeying orders time and again.


Who knew there were so many spankable characters out there? See you all next week!

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #10

Welcome one and all to our weekly discussion about some aspect of spanking. Today, let's let our imaginations run wild. We often come across irritating characters in books, movies or television programs, and think that they would benefit from a good, hard spanking. 

What fictional character would you like to see receive a spanking? Who can you imagine administering the punishment?

Leave your response as a comment, and when everyone has had a chance to respond I will publish a summary of our discussion.

You Completed the Caption

This gossipy group had quite a lot to discuss.

Leigh: My husband spanked me yesterday and told me I could expect to be spanked anytime I was 'naughty'. What can I do?

Ronnie: He spanked you? No! You let him? what was it like, did it hurt?

The girls couldn't decide who was first to be spanked at tonight's fest party.

Simon: The weekly meeting of the town's cross-dressing society was well under way when Simon realised to his horror that his new dress didn't fit.

Katie: Anyone want to trade husbands? Mine just discovered the joy of spanking and I simply can't seem to behave!

Prefectdt: Gloria had to admit that Sue was right. Women only strip off in groups like this when either there is no chance that a man could see them or in glossy, full page advertisements.

Red: The lady in the red blouse has just stated, "All right ladies, you know the routine, when you do not have the rent money! Strip down to your bra and panties, and then I will lower your panties for the nice wooden hair brush, as your rears are going to be sore and red for being in arrears on your rent. Remember, you better have the money by tomorrow, or my husband will enjoy repeating your spankings.

Six of the best: These naughty ladies told each other how they were spanked. "My bare bum felt the cane," said one. "I tasted a birch rod," said another. "It was the paddle for me," said another. "Over the knee, for a good hand spanking," said the last of the quartet of females.

Baxter: Well, I think they are bitching about their husbands/boyfriends/fiances.
'Ya know, my husband ticks me off all the time. I am thinking of spanking him.'
'I know what you mean; I spank my boyfriend all the time; almost thinks he likes it.'
'My old man came home drunk again last night and I wailed on him but good with HIS belt.'
'My boyfriend is perfect in every way and I would never spank him.'
The other three say "BOOOOOOOOOO".

Measha: Lady #1 Do you think our husbands suspect anything?
Lady #2 No, but if they did, mine would tan my hide but good.
Lady #3 They won't find out. How could they...unless one of us tells.
Lady #4 I won't tell. My husband would be furious...because I didn't take pictures!

Arched one: Then it's settled, ladies. All of our husbands have been acting up and deserved to be spanked. We meet here tomorrow with our husbands and take turns spanking each and every one of them.

Mr and Mrs B: And do you know what lesbians do?

Hermione: Lady sitting on the bed: "Are you sure that's what will happen on our wedding night?"
Lady at left: "We've all been through it."
Lady in bra: "It's not so bad. You'll get used to it."
Lady in red: "My dear, when he puts you over his knee and paddles you hard, you will finally know what it is to be a woman."

Thanks for having fun with me. Please do stay for brunch, now being served in the next post.