Wednesday, September 24, 2008

More About Erotica

Last month I wrote about my outdated collection of erotic books, and that reminded me of another collection that I want to tell you about.
Ron has a large collection of X-rated VHS videos that we haven't watched in years. We acquired them long before the internet existed. I forget the details but I saw an ad in the back of a magazine and sent away for a free catalogue from a company in the US that was willing to engage in cross-border video sales.
Choosing them was always difficult, and they were priced to be sold in groups of three. The movies were grouped in categories which I won't elaborate on here but there was nothing kinky. There was a tiny picture of each video and a one or two line description underneath. Ron usually left the task of choosing and ordering up to me each time a new catalogue arrived in the mail. My own agenda was to try to read between the lines and guess which ones might possibly contain a bit of spanking in spite of Canadian censorship rules. I usually selected videos that had pictures of bare bottoms which suited Ron just fine.
The videos came from the US by mail, and on one occasion, instead of three, our order consisted of two plus a note from Canada customs saying that the third video had been confiscated because it contained depictions of anal penetration. What an interesting job that must be, to spend the day watching imported porn.
We usually watched a video on the weekend but rarely made it more than half way through one before other urges took over. I thought they were pretty dull, not much in the way of plot or dialogue, just a lot of in, out, in, out, remove, repeat. My favourite performer - and the only one whose name I ever bothered to learn - was Ron Jeremy. He had a great sense of humour and often said very funny things as he went about the business of copulation. He didn't take what he was doing too seriously; it was just a game to him.
I only remember seeing one brief spanking scene that probably slipped past the censors while they were looking the other way. A woman and a man were doing it, she was on top, and her partner slapped her bottom a few times and said she had been naughty and her daddy had to spank her. Whenever Ron asked me to choose the evening's entertainment, that was the video I chose.

How times have changed!


Paul said...

Hermione, I hate buying such things from abroad, the thought that customs can censor what I watch, takes all the pleasure out of it.
I must admit watching porn is boring, even spanking porn unless there is a good story plot.
Warm hugs,

Anonymous said...

I think it is fascinating, awful and misguided, but fascinating that our governments will get involved in where we may penetrate each other. Here is ok, but not THERE! And then by whom..what are their qualifications? Are they legally sanctioned? Of the condoned sexual orientation, the correct mix...on and on. We humans are so very strange....

Brambleberry Blush said...

Oh, those films were so embarrassing to watch. I would turn bright red and hide my eyes. Awful. When Ben & I started spanking we went to an adult shop to look for spanking videos, there wasn't even one in the whole store. We ordered two online, but have never even watched all of the second one. It's much more interesting to do it yourselves!

Hermione said...

Paul - Yes, it's a shame we need to be censored in that way.

Sara - Strange, indeed. Those sorts of rules really bother me too.

Brambleberry - I have only found one in all the adult stores I have wandered through. And I didn't buy it. Ron prefers the real thing.