Hat Trick

A nasty flu virus has been lurking in our office, and the sounds of coughing and sneezing fill the air all day. When I felt the symptoms of a stuffy nose and the urge to cough, I feared I had caught the plague.

Ron noticed the cough and sympathetically asked if I was sick. I said I might be, and got out the bottle of Cold-FX. I took two and left the bottle on the table as a reminder for the morning.

We prepared dinner together and I managed to eat, even though I had little appetite. Spanking was the last thing on my mind. Ron, however, had different ideas.

When we had finished, and I was clearing the plates from the table, I felt a sudden, unexpected impact on my bottom. I froze, waiting. Another whack, this time on the other cheek. I put the plates down, rested my elbows on the table, and endured several more hard handspanks. They felt ouchy but good.

When Ron stopped, I resumed my kitchen duties. As I bent down to pick up a dropped napkin, he made another assault on my bottom. Well, this was turning into an interesting evening.

The third and final set of whacks was short, and happened as I stood at the fridge, putting away the leftovers. One smack on my left cheek, then a pause.

"I'm uneven. I don't like that," I complained.

Ron rectified the situation with a second smack.

"That's better." But my pleasure was short-lived when I felt a third slap to the left.

"Now I'm uneven again."

"It's over," said Ron, and I had to be content with feeling lop-sided.

And what of my flu symptoms? They had vanished. Was it the Cold-FX, that miraculous preventer of colds? Perhaps the tasty meal of spaghetti and red wine had something to do with it; tomatoes are thought to have have special properties, and red wine is good for you. But my money is on the spanking hat trick. Three spankings in a row is enough to clear anyone's head and banish chest congestion. I heartily recommend it.