Wednesday, December 10, 2014


Last year I gave Ron a lovely red and green striped cane for Christmas. He was suitably grateful, and at the first opportunity he showed his gratitude by trying it out on my bottom. The experience was less than gratifying. The cane was just too thick for our liking, and produced too much of a thud. It was rather like being spanked with a small baseball bat. So we agreed that it has been a lovely thought, but the implement would not be included in the regular rotation.

"It would make a good Festivus tree," Ron observed. So that's what I did.

For those of you who weren't fans of the long-running comedy show Seinfeld, Festivus is a non-commercial alternative to Christmas, celebrated on December 23. "A Festivus for the rest of us" is how it is explained in the show, as a reference to the day's non-commercial aspect. A Festivus celebration traditionally includes a dinner without turkey or ham, followed by the "Airing of Grievances" and "Feats of Strength".

We'll include the Festivus tree in our holiday decorations this year, but I don't know about the rest. Meatloaf just doesn't cut it as a substitute for the traditional turkey.
From Hermione's Heart


Anonymous said...

That does not even look like something I want applied to my presented bottom. I do love the way you decorated it. I wonder if I could decorate a few of the other toys she uses that I wish she didn't. But to put them on display anyone would know what it was really for and that could be very embarrassing.

Roz said...

Hi Hermoine, that doesn't look like an implement I would like applied to my butt either! Hadn't heard if festivus but love it! LoL.


Terpsichore said...

Love your festivus tree! :-) Hugs

Aimless Rambling said...

That looks fearsome, whatever were you thinking when you purchased.
How about chicken, that's a good alternative. Or meatloaf, shaped like a turkey.
Happy Festivus

Cat said...

I agree Hermione...much better as a Festivus tree than anywhere near my tush! How about a Turducken for something different for a different holiday. LOL

Hugs and Blessings...

Katie said...

Oh gosh Hermione!! :) What a very sound decision you made there I believe. YIKES on that overly tall and thick candy cane!! It for sure makes a lovely festivus tree. Enjoy! Many hugs,

<3 Katie

Hermione said...

Arched one - I didn't decorate it; it came that way. Pretty, isn't it?

Roz - It isn't something I want near mine either.

Terps - Thank you!

Leigh - I didn't exactly choose it. It came in a stocking with 11 other implements.

Cat - Turducken is a good idea. It would last for months of (frozen) leftovers.

Katie - It's much nicer as a tree.


Anonymous said...

Ha! Cute idea Hermione! Happy Festivus! ;)

Anonymous said...

So what are you getting him this year? LOL

ronnie said...

Are you going to decorate it:)

It does look quite thick.


Unknown said...

I love and prefer thud. :-). Very cute festivus

Unknown said...

Tree. :-)

Hermione said...

Grace - And the same to you!

Clara - Something more to my liking. A leather paddle, perhaps.

Ronnie - No, it's lovely just as it is.

Jackie - Maybe you ought to buy one of these from Cane-iac.


Enzo said...

LOL I remember Festivus!
One of the girls I worked with loved Festivus and especially the "Airing of Grievances"....

I dont know about that cane though. Wow that looks like it would be way to painful.

Erica said...

LOL! John actually has a Festivus pole in his living room. I need to take a picture of it.

Erica said...

Oh, wait. I did, last year, and posted it. Never mind.