The folks who live on the hill: Look I know I ordered prawn but in a small portion.
Welcome, folks!
Baxter: Charles, I know I pissed you off, but why did you change into a monster? Oh my god, stop. Please change back and you can spank my bottom every day of the rest of my life.
Anon: The lady is screaming, "You do realise that after we mate I get to bite your head off, don't you?"
Rollin: Frank, that's the ugliest outfit I've ever seen. You really have to wear something else to bridge night at the Jensen's.
Harriet, calm down. you know this happens whenever you put out a bunch of those roach motel things.
Ronnie: Clare, calm down. It's me in my fancy dress outfit for tonight's party.
A. Lurker: This is not what I was "preying" for!
No! No! I said I wanted INSTANT gratification, not INSECT gratification! Damn you, spell check!
ricky: Eee! I know this is not happening to me. I know it's all a dream. But I just don't want to wake up. Wheee!
Simon: Look I'm a praying mantis, I just want to know the way to the church.
Nina: The instant Frank entered the house and saw his wife screaming with rage he remembered... he had forgotten their wedding day again.
Vfrat25000: Is your husband a monster in the morning before his coffee? Serve him Mellow Jack’s fine ground coffee. He will go from ugly monster to Mellow Jack, the man of your dreams, after his first cup.
I think someone slipped something into my drink at the party last night! Son of a bitch, when I got home my sister Jessie looked like a monster praying mantis!
A Giant Praying Mantis ate my homework. Honest, Professor! He also ate my brother Tony but that’s not important at the moment!
Helen, for Pete’s sake put on your glasses; you are screaming at a plaster statue!
Mom, he followed me home. Can I keep him?
Lady, I almost caught a fish that was "This Big.” Why are you crying and screaming? I’m not that upset I’ll go fishing again tomorrow!
Lady, can you direct me to the Garden Department at Walmart?
Sir Wendel: Noooooooo! You can’t wear white shoes this time of year.
Hermione: No way you're getting anywhere near my bottom with those claws. Now go get the hairbrush like I told you.
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1 comment:
Those made me laugh out loud!
How about one more: Frank was pretty sure he was going to get the hairbrush for not calling the exterminator like Louise asked him to.
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