Mental Math

Ron and I are avid collectors of Air Miles. We each have an Air Miles card for the same account, and every time we shop at specific stores we get Air Miles when the card is scanned. Our Amex cards are also connected to our Air Miles account, so when one of us uses it along with the collector card we get double points. The points add up quickly that way. Air Miles can be used for a variety of things besides travel, and we use them to get free groceries at a nearby participating supermarket. That always gives me a big thrill. The last time we shopped for groceries, a full shopping cart that rang up at $130.25 only cost me .25 because I used Air Miles for the rest. How cool is that?

Last Tuesday we went to the drugstore that is associated with the program because there was a special offer: 80 Air Miles when you spend $40 before taxes. That would be easy. I took my list and off we went.

First, a box of antacid tablets for $14.99. Call it $15. Then some low-dose A.S.A. on special at 2 for $7.99. I mentally calculated the total at $23. Half way there. Then on to the paper goods aisle, where I picked up a giant pack of triple roll bathroom tissue for $11.99. It had gone up since our last visit, but never mind. That brought the total to $35. One jar of my favourite hair conditioning mask at $8.99 put us over the $40 minimum by $4. We headed to the checkout counter.

The cashier scanned our merchandise, and when I presented her with my Air Miles card she asked if I was trying for the 80, and if so I was a little over $4 under.  Really? I thought I had added up correctly in my head. I must be slipping. The cashier told us we could go and find something else to add to our order and she would put our transaction on hold.

Ron thought I was slipping too. As we turned around and went toward a battery display Ron asked me if my BlackBerry had a calculator function, and if so I'd better use it next time. Or bring a calculator from home.  If I was going to do mental arithmetic maybe a spanking was in order to sharpen my skills.

 Ooh! Did he really say that? I agreed that a spanking might do the trick, and when did he plan on the remedial session?

"Not now, but soon," Ron assured me as he chose two packs of batteries that were on sale for $3.99.

We returned to the cashier with the batteries, got our 80 Air Miles, paid and left. In the car, I was excited about the prospect of a spanking, but still mystified how I could have been out by so much when I had thought we were over the required amount. I pulled the receipt out of the shopping bag and looked at the prices. The hair conditioner was rung up not at 8.99 but at $6 something (I forget the exact amount). Ditto for the bathroom tissue and the antacids. Why were the prices on the receipt so much lower than the prices on the shelf?

Then I remembered that Tuesday was Seniors Day. Seniors got a 20% discount on all regularly priced items. The cashier had assumed I was a senior and automatically gave me the discount without asking my age. That was courteous of her, because I hate asking for a senior's discount. I hope I don't look like one, but I guess I must, although the definition of senior can vary from age 55 through 65, depending on the store. I hope she thought I was 55, not 65!

Anyway, it was all to the good, because I got some bargains, a hefty dose of Air Miles, and the promise of a spanking. What could be a better way to spend a morning?