Early Holiday Shopping

The holiday season is fast approaching, and a sure sign is an influx of mail-order catalogues that arrive in the mail almost daily. A recent one that I enjoyed leafing through was from the Smithsonian Institute. The merchandise is unique and quite expensive, so it's a read-only catalogue. I did, however, find some interesting items to share with you.

 A vintage heart pancake spatula. This would be the perfect addition to my collection of heart-shaped kitchen utensils. Decorative yet useful for flipping or paddling.

 In keeping with the theme, how about heart-shaped measuring spoons. Too small to be useful for discipline, they are charming reminders about good behaviour. Each one is embossed with a slogan like "A pinch of kindness".

Finally, the heart tea strainer and matching holder. Made of pewter, it looks like a little arrow and is so cute it might convince my husband to switch from coffee to tea. Maybe I'll put a few sticky notes in the catalogue and leave it where Ron can see it.

All photos are from the Smithsonian Online Store.

Anatomically Correct

Last week I was browsing in Homesense, one of my favourite discount housewares stores. It's a Canadian version of T.J. Maxx, and you never know what you might find there. Like its sister store Winners (much the same except it carries clothing too), it's a new store every day.

I usually check out the cooking implements for inspiration, and to my delight I found these:

Meet Sunny the spatula and Spike the pastry brush - cooking utensils for kids. I had seen them elsewhere and had thought they might be useable for a blog post. They have bendy arms and legs and suction cups for feet, so there are possibilities for putting them in naughty poses. Until now, the price was prohibitive, but these two were relatively inexpensive so I picked them up and put them in my shopping basket.

At the checkout, the young cashier reached for one, turned it over to scan the bar code, then stopped and looked at it closer.

"Hey, this one has a bum," she exclaimed.

"So it does," I agreed.

She laughed as she scanned it. "I didn't know if you knew that," she went on. Did she think I wouldn't want it if it was anatomically correct from the rear?

"Well, I do now," I grinned. Of course I had noticed. That was one of their more endearing features.

Now that they are safely home with me, I'll free them from their packaging and have some fun posing them in spanking positions. If the pictures turn out well, I'll publish them in a future post.

We're not in Kansas anymore

Ron and I were walking through a local mall recently, and we decided to check out the larger of two dollar stores.  I led the way and headed right.  As we turned down the first aisle Ron exclaimed, "We're in the paddle section."

I looked up and saw an assortment of wooden spoons, spatulas, whisks and other pervertables. We were indeed in the paddle section.

"This used to be where the party supplies were," I protested.  "They must have reorganized the store.  Isn't it funny how I was attracted to this particular aisle?"

"Very funny."

I passed two bins holding long, slender sticks in various bright colors. "Look, canes!"

My husband looked, then looked again. Above the canes were an assortment of brush heads. "Those are broom handles."

We kept browsing, and I found the spanko bracelets that I've told you about. Ron laughed when I explained that I wanted them for my blog. There was a time when he would never have mentioned paddles, canes, or anything remotely related to spanking, in a store, at home, or anywhere. Now his spanko senses have been honed nearly as fine as mine.

Last Minute Shopping

Here's a last minute gift idea for that hard to buy for spankee. How about a spatula featuring his or her favourite super hero? These spatulas of Spider Man, Iron Man, Captain America and The Hulk are available from Williams-Sonoma.They're flexible, for maximum impact pleasure, and the handle offers a secure grip. What more could you want?

Size - It Does Matter

In a recent post, I told you about Ron's new implements and how effective they were on my bottom. But it was hard to judge the size of the weapons from the pictures, and you may have been left with the impression that they were small and unimpressive.

I assembled some implements and photographed them so you could see for yourself that bigger is indeed better.

In this picture, at the bottom is a sixteen-inch wooden ruler. The paddle above it - called "The Wedge" - is the one Ron got for Christmas. Compare its size to the smaller maple paddle at the top, also hand-crafted by the same manufacturer - Littledeer.

(I have a confession. We had both completely forgotten about the smaller paddle until I started preparing for this shoot. It had somehow become buried at the bottom of the implement drawer.  I wonder how that happened.)

We recently used both paddles in a session, and the little one hurts waaay more!

Here we have the same 16 inch ruler, and above it the newest spatula. As you can see, compared to the smaller one above it - which is the size commonly used for cooking - it's a real whopper!

A Christmas Cracker

I haven't told you about my Christmas spanking, have I? Yes, I actually got spanked on the day!

One of the gifts I gave Ron was a package containing several kitchen tools. The first and second were useful for vanilla purposes. This was the third:

"What's this?" Ron asked, as he pulled it from the box. He read the cardboard label. "It's a spatula. A high-heat resistant spatula." Then he looked at me quizzically. "Not for the kitchen, though."

"No, it's not," I grinned, embarrassed but delighted that he understood the implement's real purpose.

Then he rummaged in the box, pulled aside the tissue paper, and extracted the last item.

"And what's this called?"

"A wedge."

"Also not for the kitchen." Ron tapped it against his palm, experimenting with the weight and feel.

"We can try them out later," I hinted, and heard no disagreement.

The rest of the day was spent setting up a new technological gadget. After numerous trips to the computer to read the online help manual or to Google the latest problem, we both needed some stress relief.

Since Christmas fell on our usual day for spanking, when the appointed time rolled around I suggested to Ron that it was time to try out his presents. He muttered something about basting the turkey, but I assured him we would be done before it needed more attention.

So we climbed the stairs to the bedroom, where I obediently lowered my jeans and panties and positioned myself over the end of the bed.

The spatula was an oversized one - much bigger than the usual kind. Splat! It produced a satisfying thud and was just right for a warmup.

The wedge was formidable, though. Also rather large, it packed a real wallop. Ron was impressed.

"I like this.  It bounces right off your butt."

"Oh, good."

Ron happily alternated sets using one, then the other. This was one Christmas I wouldn't forget in a hurry. But alas, all good things must come to an end. We heard the stove timer pinging; the turkey beckoned.

"That's all. You're as red as Rudolph's nose," Ron announced. He opened the implement drawer, added the two latest additions to his arsenal, then came back, put his arms around me and whispered, "Merry Christmas."

Wednesday WIN

Spatulas have been on my mind recently.

Ron received a lovely one for Christmas. I'll tell you more about that some other time.

Spatulas come in all shapes, sizes and colours.

Tested by spanko chefs

With human appendages

For holidays

Floral theme

Applied with love

From another galaxy

The vegetable combo

Sweet peppermint

A whole jarful

Send your special someone a spatula from Spatula City.
Except they aren't real; they're virtual. And they aren't spatulas; they're pancake turners. Still, it's the thought that counts.

A Cracker of an Anniversary

In preparation for a recent spanking encounter I brought out a few implements that I had collected over time, but had never been tried. These were a pair of wooden salad forks (for tossing salad), a thin belt made of rubber, and a large bamboo spatula. Why was I going to all this trouble? It happened to be the twenty-fourth anniversary of my first spanking from my husband, and I was determined to make it memorable.

Ron's eyes widened as he saw the assortment.

"Where did these come from?"

"They've been hanging on the wall in my sewing room," I explained. "Did you ever wonder why they were there?"

"Guess I didn't think about this," he admitted, then picked up the salad forks.

"These are too small," he pronounced, and put them down again.

"Aw, really? You think so?" I was disappointed. They had looked so very spankish in the housewares shop.

"No, they won't do. And this," Ron picked up the thin rubber belt, "is too floppy. I'll have no control over it."

This wasn't going at all well. "Try it anyway. Look, shorten it up, like this." I showed him. "See, just keep it short and it will work."

I bent over the end of the bed, bare-bottomed and ready. Crack. Crack. Crack. The belt connected three times with a real bite.

"Ow! Ow! OW!" I realized I was getting more than I bargained for, but since I had begged for it, I was determined to settle in and take it. But then it stopped.

"No, it doesn't work," explained Ron. "No control."

I didn't have time to be too upset, because the next thing I knew, the bamboo spatula was connecting with my barely-red bottom in a very effective way.

"Now this is more like it," my husband said enthusiastically. "This is a cracker of a whacker!"

"Ow! Oh, good. I'm glad you...ow...like it." I giggled as I told myself to remember that phrase and write it down as soon as I could, so I could blog about it. And I did.

So after two strikes (so to speak) we had a home run, and the spanking proceeded in grand style. Our anniversary spankabration was everything I could have wished for. When it was over, the belt went into my closet, the salad forks went to the kitchen, but I took a picture of the "cracker of a whacker" then hung it on the wall, where it awaits another adventure. The picture's at the top of this post. Isn't it pretty?

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

A special gift for that special someone. Sturdy enough to stand up to whatever punishment you might have in mind.

Why not add a message for that personal touch? Try it here.