Complete the Caption

The Commonwealth Games in Glasgow are over now, but unusual competitive events can be found all over the world. Take this one, for example. How is it scored? What does the winner receive?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment and I will tally up the scores in an upcoming post. If you haven't joined in before, now's your chance. Everyone gets a ribbon for participating.

So Many Questions

Last week Bonnie posted the 92 questions meme that she found on Alex's blog. I liked it, but pared it down a bit, eliminating questions that I didn't understand or couldn't relate to.  I ended up with 70, and that's still quite a lot!

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Not likely. It was my satellite TV provider
2. Opinions on sex before marriage? It's a must
3. Best room for a fireplace? A cold one
4. Is trust a big issue for you? It's very important in a relationship
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? I hang out with my husband every day
6. What are you excited about? Our new iPad case - it's genuine leather and it was free!
7. What happened last night? Ate dinner, watched Coronation Street
8. Ever have plastic surgery? Not yet
9. Which are better - black or green olives? I prefer Kalamata
10. What is the last beverage you had? Water

11. Ever won a contest? Yes, for a temperance poster at the yearly school fair when I was 10
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? They went to Goodwill long ago
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Cook us a delicious meal then watch Saving Mr Banks
14. What are you going to spend money on next? Groceries
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Yes, my husband and I are going out to buy groceries
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Change into what?
17. Can you swim well? Yes
18. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Even better, I can hold my nose without holding my breath
19. Have you had sex today? Not yet
20. Regularly burn incense? Occasionally

21. Are you in a good mood? So-so
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Not unless they were the inflatable kind
23. Ever take dance lessons? Ballet, jazz and modern dance
24. What do you want right this second? Play Candy Crush
25. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Not any more
26. Hot tea or cold tea? Hot
27. Tea or coffee? Coffee with breakfast, tea after lunch and in the afternoon
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Our dogs
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes, Canadian folk singer Stan Rogers
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Usually

31. Favorite type of cookie? Mr Maple
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Of course
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No, I have the occasional sugar-free Pepsi
34. Listening to? Coast - an internet radio station in New Zealand
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Every day when I do logic puzzles
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? My husband is in the bedroom, still asleep
37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Oh, yes indeed
38. Who did you last call? A female relative
39. Do you study better with or without music? With classical music
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I love him

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Can't remember
42. Who would you like to see in concert? Joan Baez
43. What was the last concert you saw? A live recreation of the Ed Sullivan Show
44. Do you tan in the nude? No. Tanning of any kind is dangerous
45. Are you patient? Will these questions never end?
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No, it's hard to talk while wearing a mouthguard
47. Who was the last person to call you? A representative from the Microsoft Security Department, who told me he had detected a virus on my computer, and would walk me through the steps to remove it.
48. Do you sing in the shower? Not if there's anyone within earshot
49. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?  Yes, in high school. I don't want to talk about it.
50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes, and I was a pretty good shot

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? University graduation
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Some are, some aren't
53. Is Christmas stressful? Yes, but not as bad as it once was
54. Ever eat a pierogi? My grandmother made them regularly, but I didn't care for them much
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Blueberry
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Cowboy
57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes
58. Ever been in love? Sure, and I still am
59. Take a vitamin daily? Several
60. Wear slippers? Regularly

61. Wear a bath robe? It's a necessity when I take the dogs out at night
62. What do you wear to bed? Panties and tank top
63. First concert? My public school Christmas concert
64. Walmart, Target or Kmart? Walmart - there's so much to see there!
65. Nike or Adidas? I've worn both in the past
66. Cheetos or Fritos? Cheddar-flavoured popcorn chips
67. Peanuts or sunflower seeds? Roasted almonds
68. Ever won a spelling bee? Only the informal ones in the classroom
69. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? It's possible
70. What is your favorite book? I have read so many I couldn't choose a favourite one
   

From the Top Shelf - Bev Gets a Whuppin

Recently I read It, one Stephen King's early horror novels. Written in 1980, the story is about a monster that looks like a clown, lives in the underground sewers of a small town in Maine, and eats children. Believable, right?

This is from an early chapter in the book, called "Beverly Rogan Takes a Whuppin". I pondered for several weeks on whether or not to share this with you. The chapter does have some DD and spanko elements in it that make for good reading, but as usual, King gets carried away and overdoes the violence. He also ascribes the characters'  dominant/submissive relationship to the fact that both had been physically abused as children. I filtered out the descriptions of adult brutality and childhood corporal punishment, and what I was left with was somewhat titillating. I will leave it up to you to decide whether you want to seek out the book and read the entire chapter.

The scene takes place in Tom and Bev Rogan's apartment. It is late and they are in bed. Tom has overindulged in beer while watching a ballgame on TV and is almost asleep. Bev receives a phone call and Tom is annoyed. He gets up to go to the bathroom and shouts at her to get rid of the caller if it's her friend, Lesley.

Beverly glanced up briefly, shook her head to indicate it wasn't Lesley, then looked back at the phone. Tom felt the muscles at the back of his neck tighten up. It felt like a dismissal. Dismissed my Milady. Mifuckinlady. This was starting to look like it might turn into a situation. It might be that Beverly needed a short refresher course on who was in charge around here.  It was possible. Sometimes she did. She was a slow learner...

He had been looking for someone like Beverly Marsh all his life... not that her vulnerability showed on the surface—you looked and saw a gorgeous woman, slim but abundantly stacked. Hips weren't so great maybe, but she had a great ass and the best set of tits he had ever seen... Oh, she had been some kind of fine-looking, all right, with that dynamite body and that gorgeous fall of red wavy hair. But she was weak...weak somehow. it was as if she was sending out radio signals which only he could receive.

As Beverly talks on the phone and Tom fumes, he hears her light a cigarette. Cigarette smoking is something Tom has taught Bev not to do.

The dull rage came again. His stomach filled with a heat which was not entirely unpleasant. Smoking. She was smoking. They had had a few of Tom Rogan`s Special Seminars on the subject. And here she was, doing it again. She wss a slow learner, all right, but a good teacher is at his best with slow learners...

At this point there is a lengthy description of how they met and how he slowly asserted his dominance over her. The methods he used were too violent for my taste, so we resume at a later point. Tom has worked himself into an alcohol-fueled fury.

He had forgotten the telephone call that had wakened him out of his deepening sleep. It was the cigarette. If she was smoking now, then she had forgotten Tom Rogan. Temporarily, of course, only temporarily, but even temporarily was too damned long. What might have caused her to forget didn't matter. Such things were not to happen in his house for any reason.

There was a wide black strip of leather hanging from a hook inside the closet door. There was no buckle on it; he had removed that long ago. It was doubled over at one end where the buckle would have gone, and this doubled-over section formed a loop into which Tom Rogan now slipped his hand...

He flipped the loose end of the belt over once and pulled the loop snug. Then he closed his fist over it. It felt good. It made him feel like a grown-up. The strip of leather hung from his fist like a dead blacksnake. His headache was gone.

Bev is packing a suitcase. She tries to tell her husband that the phone call was from a childhood friend, and she needs to leave right away for Maine, but Tom is having none of it.

Got to give you a whuppin," he said. "Sorry about that, babe."

Bev resists and is uncharacteristically unsubmissive. She tries once more to explain that the monster of her childhood—IT—has resurfaced once more, and she and her friends need to go back home and destroy it. Tom doesn`t buy it. (Neither would I.)

but Tom had listened to enough craziness from within and from without. He moved in on her fast, cocking his right arm back...

"Gonna whup you," Tom repeated. His voice was sane, even regretful, but his teeth showed in a white and frozen smile. He wanted to see that look in her eyes, that look of fear and terror and shame, that look that said yes you're right, I deserved it. That look that said yes you're there all right, I feel your presence....

But for once, there is no fear in Bev's eyes. Tom goes wild with the belt and it lands on Bev`s butt as well as other places. Bev keeps dodging away and finally manages to get the belt away from him. The shoe is now on the other foot, so to speak, and she gives as good as she got.

Beverly... swung the belt for the last time—the belt he had used on her buttocks, her legs... The belt he had used on her times without number over the last four years. How many strokes you got depended on how badly you'd screwed up. Tom comes home and dinner is cold? Two with the belt. Bev's working late at the studio and forgets to call home? Three with the belt. Oh, hey, look at this—Beverly got another parking ticket. One with the belt... He was good. He rarely bruised. It didn't even hurt that much. Except fot the humiliation. That hurt. And what hurt worse was knowing that part of her craved the hurt. Craved the humiliation.

Last time pays for all, she thought, and swung. 

I won`t reveal where the belt landed, but Tom was not at all pleased. It gave her a chance to grab her suitcase and run for her life.

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for August 3

Our question this week was about being spanked to help your partner to get ahead, and there were mixed opinions about it. Here's what you said.

A. Lurker: Wow, what an interesting question!

Though it makes great fiction, for me, in real life, it feels wrong on so many levels. I would see it as sexual harassment. Also, if a person would ask this of an employee, what else would be asked down the road?

For my husband and I, spanking is sexual and we are monogamous therefore this situation would feel like having an affair.

I live in a province where there has been a huge, ongoing inquiry into scandal in the construction industry which, maybe, has made me even more sensitive to these things. I could see where this situation might fit in.

All that being said, the story made for great fiction! Fun to imagine but don't try this at home.

Dan: If I am the spankee, yes, I would give it a go. If I am the spanker, no. First, my wife would never agree to it and, second, it just wouldn't feel right to put someone else in that position.

Dr. Ken: As the spanker--no, I just can't see doing that.

Anon: My lovely spankee makes her gorgeous bottom readily available for me to indulge my spanking whims on it, but there is no way I would even consider asking her to offer it to someone else as a payment.

Abby: As a spankee, I would worry about what would they want next...so no.

Six of the best: Absolutely, a husband should offer his wife to the boss, if it meant a substantial promotion, or raise for him. And his wife should acccept this proposal willingly.

Dragon's Rose: Not a hard question here! NO! strangers don't spank me. Not ever!

Baxter: Nothing doing with that. I am the spankee and my wife the spanker. It is fun to fantasize about, but in reality, it wouldn't happen.

Bogey and Bacall: We can see it as being quite fun.

Leigh: NO to both.

Michael M: Yes but I can't see it happening. I did enjoy your post.

Sub hub in phx: As the submissive ... Yes! I believe it is a simple matter of whether there is a limit line that is being crossed or not. It's not a hard limit for me, so yes, if I was told by my Mistress that it was going to happen, it would happen, however unlikely it is to actually happen.

If I were the dominant, I'd probably say no.

Ronnie: Interesting question. Simple answer is no.

Bonnie: This is the spanko indecent proposal.

My first answer was no, of course not. My second thought was how much spanking and how much money? A few swats on my clothed bottom for a million dollars might be a no-brainer. I guess it would depend.


Jan: Not a snowball in hell's chance!

Prefectdt: Yes I would agree to getting a spanking, on the condition that the boss was either an experienced spanker or willing to be supervised/instructed by an experienced spanker. This is so that I would not have to do any "Topping from the bottom" and annulling any positive effect that the spanking might produce.

Katie: No and No. For Rob's (eyes) hand only!

Jenny: Sorry, no, that is just too far-fetched for me. I wouldn't let someone spank me for my own promotion, so I certainly wouldn't let someone spank me for my mate's. For one thing, the spanker will be even more of a stranger than my own boss or hiring manager. Also, I just don't see this as a realistic situation.

Arched one: I have to agree with most here. Very interesting "story" but in R/L no way. I do have a fantasy that R might some day let one of her friends witness my spanking but that is very different.

Hermione: I have to agree that it's a hot fantasy, but not at all a good idea in real life. Besides the movie Indecent Proposal, the sexual version of this was a recent storyline on Coronation Street - "sleep with me and I'll let your husband and son off the hook". It all ended in tears, as you may well imagine.

The only way I might consider doing something like this is if my husband knew about the proposal, and if he agreed that I should go through with it.


Thank you to all who participated in this lively discussion. Have a great week, and for most (but not all) Canadians, enjoy the long weekend!

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #31

Welcome to another weekend brunch! Earlier this week I published a story here about a woman who had to agree to be spanked by her husband's boss in order for him to keep his promotion. The story was fiction, but what if you found yourself in that position?

If you are the spankee in your relationship, would you agree to be spanked by a stranger in order to help your husband / wife / partner get ahead or keep a job? If you are the spanker, would you encourage your husband / wife / partner to go through with it?

Leave your thoughts as a comment and I will publish the outcome once everyone has had a chance to speak.

You Completed the Caption

Who knew a kitty could inspire so many clever captions?


Arched one: Come in for the night kitty, you are just in time to watch me give my naughty husband a good long, hard spanking.

Ronnie: If he thinks this adorable little present will get him off his spanking - he can think again.

Six of the best: "Meow," said the cat. "From one PUSSY to another. I've been invited by your ever loving husband. to see you being given a 'spanking good time' on your bare bottom."

Leigh: "I think he's trying to tell me something."

Ricky: I'm sorry, Boots, but Puss is not in.

Simon: She often wondered why the cat always scratched on her door as soon as she had got ready for bed, only later did she notice that her neighbour was a renowned cat whisperer.

Michael M: "Since he is obviously going to be home late again, you had better come in. We may as well have at least one contented pussy round here."

Foothills: Oh, come on in kitty. I know you don't really care one bit that I have my sheer lingerie on. I know, however, that the same cannot be said of my husband. He probably won't be able to resist spanking my ass and then ravishing me again and again. But do me the courtesy of not staring at us while we do, like last time.

Blondie: "What a lovely little present. A pussy for a pussy. Will I get spanked for accepting this gift from our neighbor?"

A. Lurker: Ah yes wench, waiting for me at the door as I commanded. Master is pleased! Now bring me my tuna, chunked, not flaked.

Sir Wendel: Stupid cat. You interrupted my spanking.

From James Bond: Pussy Galore?

Han van Meegeren: You didn't have to go you know. She like pussies almost as much as I do.

Welcome, Han!

Vfrat25000: Great. Even the cat is getting more action than I am tonight

My fiancé washes my clothes, cooks all the meals, lets me spank her anytime I want, she loves my mother, she never purchases anything without checking with me first, she rubs my back and feet every night .I do believe I have found the perfect woman. Oh, she likes cats… I’m out of here. Better luck next time!

Lady, I’m a Bad Ass Tom Cat. Why did you put this sissy red bow around my neck? All my friends are laughing their asses off! Get it off or there is going to be some real cat trouble around this place!

There you are, Killer! I thought you ran away. Killer, you look like you have lost weight.
Put your glasses on, lady. I’m the neighbor’s cat and I’m just looking for a little mouse action tonight.

George… what are you looking at so intently?
Nothing dear, just admiring a little neighborhood pussy!

Bonnie: Welcome to the cat house.

Hermione: As Lydia welcomed the last guest, she smiled. There were enough participants for a game of Cat o' Nine Tails.


You are all welcome to stay for brunch, coming up next.

Friday FAIL

For your pre-weekend amusement, an assortment of silly signs and other nonsense.

Too late!

Good to know there's another option if they don't fit

Now you know

Since when is "slow cooker" another name for "microwave"?

Someone forgot to proofread the instructions

Remove this poor sod from the gene pool stat!

If you want even more entertainment, hop on over to yesterday's Complete the Caption.