Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Musing about Mosquitoes

How come there are so many mosquitoes around when we have had so little rain this month?

How come Ron thinks there are so many in the house, when I never hear them buzzing?

How come they like me best?

How come Ron is always swatting them when they land on me, even before I know they're there?

How come they always land on my bottom?

How come it takes six swats to kill one tiny mosquito?

How come I never see the squashed remains on his hand?

How come I never see the squashed remains on my white shorts?

How come we seem to have mosquitoes in the house until well past Thanksgiving?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Here's Ron's contribution on the subject:

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you lay on my naked body...you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.

Finally, I drifted off to sleep.

Today when I awoke, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events. My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it all the more difficult to forget you.

Tonight, I will remain awake, waiting for you........

F###ing mosquito!!!!!

From Hermione's Heart


Mindy said...

ROFLOL! Well done, Hermoine! :-D

Anonymous said...

While we're on the theme of mosquitos, check out this art: http://spankingart.tumblr.com/post/7451883527

Karl Friedrich Gauss

Anonymous said...

*smiles* Very cute post...As usual!


There's so many mosquitoes because the bats, which normally feast upon them are sick. They have contracted some kind of fungal infection that's killing them...

Hope they can sort out a cure soon...Bats are incredibly important to ecology!

ronnie said...

Very good Hermione. Love Ron's contribution, you should ask him to do a guest post every now and then.


Meow said...

LMAO! So fun!

Erica said...

LOL! Mosquitoes, indeed. Sounds like a wee bit more Top's BS to me!

I'm definitely one of those whom the mosquitoes love to bite. But they've never bitten me on the butt.

Hermione said...

Mindy - Thank you.

Karl - Thanks for the link to a cute picture.

Rootsdown - I didn't know that. They do carry rabies, and there's no way to give them food laced with rabies vaccine like you can with raccoons and foxes. Poor bats!

Ronnie - Ron got that contribution in an email from a friend. It wasn't original.

Meow - Thanks!

Erica - I agree. I took it all with a grain of salt. But hey, a spanking is a spanking.



Be thankful that Ron doesn't have one of those electric tennis racket thingies, to get the mosquitoes on your rear end. Unless your up for trying something different :)


Daisychain said...


Seriously, the reason they like you more, is, given a choice, they prefer blood without testosterone. They will bite men if no choice, but prefer women.
Heehee, I wonder why Ron swats them so freely, yet obviously misses...maybe he needs new specs? LOL.
By the way, Avon makes a product called Skin so Soft, which isn't meant to be, but works well as, an insect repellant. The original, woodland fresh fragrance. Many ppl who have horses spray them and their bedding to keep the flies away... and the entire cast of Rob Roy used it when filming in Scotland! Just some useless info there! xxxxxxx

kiwigirliegirl said...

hehehehe very good !!! And yes Ron should quest post - id love to read :)

richardmt said...

tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk!

What language!

And just about a little-old lowly, buzzing mosquito.

tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk!


PK said...

Loved this Hermione!


bree512 said...

Oh my! So many how comes and one expletive. Maybe Ron should use a fly swatter to get rid of those kind of mosquitos. Hehe. ;)

Hermione said...

Prefectdt - Not into something that different, although it's an interesting thought.

Daisy - I have sprayed Skin So Soft on the dogs. Maybe I should try it, but then, where's the fun in that?

Kiwi - I have another contribution of his coming up soon. Stay tuned!

Richardmt - Little things can annoy Ron immensely.

PK - Thanks.

Bree - Yes, that's a thought, once it's washed well.


Red said...

funny... will have to start looking for mosquitos in our house. loved Ron added post.

Lea said...

It seems like this wasn't really about mosquitoes but I'll add my rant anyway. This weekend I went to the drive-in movies with my husband and got 8 effing mosquito bites without even leaving the car! Just sat there with the windows rolled down. They always get me and noone else. It's so annoying!

Hermione said...

Red - Any excuse is fair. I hope Cindy isn't squeamish about swatting them.

Lea - Next time try Skin So Soft. Or light a mosquito coil in the car. I have learned to ignore their bites, and they don't seem to do any damage to me. It's the swatter I need to look out for.