Craig of Dark Musings recently posted a link to an amazing story from the New York Times. It's the first-hand account of how a female journalist revealed her long-suppressed love of spanking to her boyfriend. Here's a brief excerpt:
Even popular books and movies link erotic spanking to severe psychological trauma. In “Fifty Shades of Grey,” Christian Grey’s passion for erotic pain is a result of extreme childhood abuse. The 2002 film “Secretary” suggests that the main character’s spanking obsession is merely a preferable alternative to self-mutilation.
So what is a nice girl (who also happens to love being spanked) supposed to think? More pressingly, what is she supposed to say to her brand-new boyfriend?
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On my computer, hidden inside a series of password-protected folders, is a folder labeled “David, If You Find This, Please Don’t Look Inside.” It has my favorite spanking stories I’ve collected online. A small fraction are what you’d imagine: A man spanks a woman, then they have sex. In the vast majority, though, both characters are men, have a platonic relationship, and no sex or romanticism is involved.
Read the whole story here. I know you'll recognize yourself in much of what the author says.
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20 comments:
Hi Hermione,
I read the story at the NYT.
But this part is all to familiar for us.
I am extremely curious if there is some follow up. By the journalist or by the readers of NYT.
Do you know if there was any follow up?
Hermione,
Thank you. I really liked the article.
Thank you for sharing.
Hug,
joey
This is an excellent article. With permission from the author I was able to post it in it's entirity on ADDS Friday after LOL Day was settling down. If you look toward blogs and social networking, the response to Ms. Keenen's "essay" as she calls it, has been huge so far across the spanking & DD community. I wrote Ms. Keenen back and I'm hoping for a follow up type of Interview with her soon. Fingers crossed :)
I have said the EXACT same thing about the supposedly "main stream" spanking media. They portray it in a very bad light, covering it in romanticism to pretend it's not negative. I'm glad there's someone with enough courage out there to tell the real story!
Boy, I couldn't imagine doing that... Brave lady!
Hi,
I also wrote to Ms. Jillian Keenan and thanked her for writing the article. I also asked her if she has received any feedback.
Hug,
joey
PS It is Keenan and not Keenen.
I was tickled pink when I read this a few days ago - I hope she DOES do a follow up.
I have a lot I want to say, but am unsure how to express it, so I'll just say I am glad people are becoming less afraid to talk about it. :)
My best friend in grade school had the same name but thanks for the typo alert joey :) Guess I need to turn on another light while typing lol. I'm starting to wonder how many people have written her since Friday morning.
Thank you so very much for sharing. I think she hit the nail on the head with her description how I have come to grips with my kink. The evolution from feeling like something was wrong with me to researching to justify to deciding almost was enough to speaking honestly with my husband to ... Click.
Thanks for sharing. I read this yesterday and thought it was good.
Wow, how interesting. With all the over hype of fifty shades, so many people casualy like spanking now....except, they dont. Not like all of us anyway. For the author for me and many of us, its not just a playful swat on the butt during sex, its an obsession. With a long, personal and even painful road of self discovery. Very glad my wife is every bit the spanko I am, dont have to twist her arm to spank her lol
Bas - I don't know, but will keep watching for more information.
Joey - I liked it too, and thought I should help spread the word.
MrBB - I'm looking forward to reading that interview.
Rosie - I can't imagine doing it either except anonymously.
Young Lady - I'm glad she did it too, and hope for a follow-up.
SirQ's mlb - A lot of what she said resonated with me.
SNP - This story was picked up by several blogs; I'm a bit behind but still considered it worth publishing.
Brian - You are certainly very lucky. Spanking is so much more than a swat or two(although those are nice too.)
Hugs,
Hermione
I saw this article too. Interesting in that it's the NYT who seems to be ahead of the game.
Very interesting article, Hermione. Thanks for posting.
hugs
lillie
I read this on ADDS as well. It is amazing people didn't storm the paper. I think it is great. I hate when the media tells us how we are supposed to feel. This was a great change.
This is a great article and amazing to see it in such a mainstream publication. I like how it shows those with a fetish as normal people.
great post Hermione! It is indeed hard for every person to come out about their spanking fetish to a partner. Thanks for the link
bottoms up
Red
Indeed.
It used to be socially accepted to have sex only within marriage, through the front, and then not talk about it except obliquely. Progressively, it became acceptable to have sex outside of marriage, and even to have gay sex (though many people who feel comfortable about gays would probably prefer to ignore the details of anal sex).
Yet, spanking is still pretty much taboo.
On the one hand, you have BDSM. The general public associates that to dominatrices, dungeons... leather-clad women with whips.
You have movies like Secretary or novels such as 50 Shades, but that's not even there. Secretary has highly ritualized spanks given to a lady with psychological issues.
Add the undertones of past child abuse and spouse abuse, and this makes spankos into freaks.
I don't think there is any mainstream film or novel where a normal woman or man asks her or his partner for a good licking over the knee. No "contracts", no "domination", no "orders", just some good old fashioned spanking.
And it's even worse if you also have some other, equally harmless, fetishes, such as, for a male, being penetrated anally. There's a suspicion that you're a "closet gay", even though it's totally heterosexual.
Sunnygirl - Very interesting.
Lillie - I think as many people as possible need to read it.
Minelle - A big change, and she is a very brave woman.
Lea - Quite refreshing, and I admit I am surprised to see it in the NY Times.
Red - Now we need her male counterpart to write a similar article.
Pecan - I agree, we are still portrayed as damaged goods in some sense. It's hard for outsiders to understand our preferences.
Hugs,
Hermione
I read the article and all the comments. All of them have provided me with great information.
How much different isit for a man opening up to his female partner?
Thank you
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