Thursday, January 17, 2013

Come Spank with Me

During the holidays, when regular television programming was interrupted by daylong marathons of a single show, I discovered Come Dine with Me Canada. It's an adaptation of the British show, Come Dine with Me, that I used to enjoy but is no longer available here. The premise is simple. Five strangers get together, and on five consecutive evenings each one takes a turn hosting a dinner party. At the end of each evening, the guests rate the host on a scale of one to ten. On the final evening, the scores are revealed and the highest-scoring host wins a thousand dollars.

Each evening, usually between the appetizer and the entree, the guests go snooping through the host's home and find something unusual or bizarre. Then later, during the entree, one of the guests will bring up their discovery and try to embarrass the host. Discovered items the I can recall include a stolen flag, a diary, cheerleader pompoms, a beauty queen dress and sash, puppets and a massive shoe collection. On one memorable episode, two guests prepared to open a bedside table. What would they find? I guessed it would be an electronic gadget of the personal variety, and I think the two snoops did too. We were all surprised and disappointed to discover a drawer filled with bags of bulk candy.

I often wonder what the guests (or the program producer) would do if a display like the one below was revealed. I suspect the cameras would stop rolling and the guests would be redirected to another part of the house.

Or maybe not. I think the subsequent dinner table conversation would go something like this:

Guest #1: You know that room downstairs beside the powder room?

Host: What room?

Guest #2: The one with the padlock on it. Good thing Jimmy here used to be a burglar.

Guest #1: Aww, that was easy. So, what were those things hanging on the wall?

Host: More gravy, anyone?

Guest #2: Yes, what were they? They looked like (giggles) paddles.

Host: Er...yes...they're antique paddles. They belonged to my grandfather. They have great sentimental value.

Guest #1: And that picture. Who was that?

Host: (blushing) So, everybody, how's the meal?

Guest #3: Picture? What did I miss? Maybe we all need to see that picture.

Guest #4: Was that a picture of your grandmother? I'd like to see it.

Host: I don't remember any picture. Here, have another roll.

Guest #2: Jennifer, you've been holding out on us. You're a professional dominatrix.

Host: (Panic-stricken) Dessert anyone? (rushes from the room. Guests #1 and #2 high-five each other.)

Narrator: When we come back after the break, will Jennifer provide the evening's entertainment in her dungeon? And will her dinner guests give her a perfect score, or else?

(The above photo has appeared on several other blogs and I have been unable to determine where it originated. Please let me know if it is yours so I can credit you.)
From Hermione's Heart


kim b. said...

Congratulations on 1500 posts!
your blog is wonderful i have read it for a long time!
Keep up the Great Work!

Anonymous said...

I wonder what the reaction of the audience would be to such a discovery?


abby said...

LOL...wish that show aired here...I love your take on it!
hugs abby

Hermione said...

Kim - Thank you very much.

Joey - I suspect they would love it. There is quite a lot of sexual innuendo on the show.

Abby - It's good fun to watch.


elle :) said...

Lol, that would be an interesting find, lol!!

Our Bottoms Burn said...

The photo is from I think Ken and Cora have several paddles displays throughout the house.

SNP said...

Yes, congratulations on 1500 posts. Just like today's post...I always either learn something fun, interesting, or I get to participate. Great blog. Hugs~

Aimless Rambling said...

Would definitely make for interesting dinner conversation.

Gives a new meaning to Wall Art.

ronnie said...

I love that programme. It goes out on air twice a week here, some repeats.

You're right about the sexual innuendo's quite a few.


spankedbywife said...

Love the premise and your take on it.

And as much as I'd like to take credit for the 'Wall of Paddles', its not ours. However, we do have a similar display and it would be fun to host an episode, although they would have to travel just a few miles south of the border.

Bas said...

Congratulations Hermione on 1500 posts.
Have to be quick with this, otherwise I'll have to change the number before I stop typing.
We have that cook program too, but the part about snooping in the house seems not to have made it to the Netherlands.

Hermione said...

Elle - It sure would!

Bogey - Apparently not. (See below.)

SNP - Thank you!

Sunny - That's my kind of fresco.

Ronnie - I always thought the British version was better, but ours has improved since it started.

Ken - I remember you have several very impressive displays like this one. Wouldn't it be fun to have four strangers inspect them?

Bas - Thank you. Just change the 0 to 1 and you'll be spot on.
I thought it rather invasive to prowl through the house too, but it seems they are expected to do it.


Anonymous said...

What a terrifying wall treatment....egad!

Minielle Labraun said...

Hey what a great story! Maybe you could write one on this premise!

sixofthebest said...

What a magnificent display of spanking implements. Hermione, I am sure your face would be blushing red, just like your bare bottom is, if some guests, would discover such a unique wall of 'spanking pleasure'.

Roz said...

Hi Hermione, Congratulations of 1500 posts, wow! and thank you. I always love visiting here to see what fun and interesting things you have in store for us.

What a great display of implements in that picture. I would sure love to see that episode LoL


kiwigirliegirl said...

unfortunately my computr wont load your pics :( but i too watch this programme and i once watched an episode where a leather paddle was found - I laughed so much
OH and can I just say here (because I cant comment on ronnies blog for some reason - I agree with here words whole heartedly, never a truer word has been said. Your blog is wonderful witty kind supportive and just brilliant and I love it :)

Hermione said...

Lillie - I though ti was quite motivating:)

Minelle - Ah, what a good idea!

Six - Yes, I'd be blushing all over.

Roz - Thank you. I'd be sure to save that episode on the PVR.

Kiwi - I'm sorry you are having computer problems today. They really found a paddle? Wow!

Thank you for your kind words.


Unknown said...

Come Dine With Me still airs over here in the UK and I thought your take on the show was very funny. Knowing how the show has progressed over the last few years I wouldn't be surprised if such an episode pops up before too long :)

Hermione said...

Jaye - I hope that when it does, it will be available on YouTube.