Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The Assessment

Earlier this month I wrote about Ron's three new implements, and last weekend he had a chance to try them out. He had placed them in a row on the bed, and invited me to choose a fourth weapon from the toybox. In keeping with the colour scheme I selected the red and black ping pong paddle.

Ron started with the paddle, and it was more ouchy than I remembered, as we had not had a chance to play for longer than usual. Still, it felt nice and familiar.

The pink rod was next. It's about the size and shape of an 18" wooden ruler but twice as thick. It was thuddy and the impact was not at all pleasant.

"Ow!" I complained.

"Does that hurt?" Ron asked. I suspect it was meant as a rhetorical question.

"Of course it hurts, you--" I restrained myself just in time.

"Does that feel better?" Ron had put the evil implement down and was gently rubbing my sore bottom with his warm hand.

"Mmm, much better." I thought I knew where this was leading.

Ron quickly switched to the striped cane. It packed the same sort of wallop as the ruler: heavy and thuddy. In between strokes and ouches, I could hear the clink of a belt buckle being undone, and the rustle of jeans sliding to the floor.

His last implement, the loopy Johnny, nearly sent me from the room. Boy, did that ever sting! After only a few swats Ron pressed himself against me while continuing to apply the loop to the upper portion of my backside. It was a delicious combination of pain and pleasure.

"Does that hurt?" Why does he keep on asking dumb questions?

Then Ron moved away and pulled me up from the bed. "Maybe this will feel better." I knew what was expected, so I dropped to my knees and paid some close attention to a certain part of his anatomy. This was much better than the coloured cane. My husband expressed his delight in my attentions, and I was sure our afternoon delight was at an end, but it seems it wasn't.

"We can continue," Ron said, "but maybe you'd rather pick something else." He knew the new toys were a bit over the top.

"Maybe, but first let's try them again."

He picked up the pink ruler and applied it with medium effort, and this time it didn't feel too bad at all. The prior warmup and the brief respite had given my posterior a chance to adjust. It was still thuddy and heavy, but didn't hurt quite as much. The cane was similarly bearable but not pleasant. The loopy Johnny was only a little less awful. I continued to protest and Ron thought that was humorous. I could hear him chuckling.

"What are you laughing at?"

"It's your own fault. You bought these."

"They were on sale. It was a Christmas - ouch! - special."

Afterwards we both agreed that while it had been a nice gesture, the implements were just too heavy. The terrible trio would be reserved for special occasions only, and would not be a regular part of our play.

From Hermione's Heart


abby said...

You have confirmed my thoughts on the loopy implement...I do like how you decided to give them a second chance.
hugs abby

Roz said...

Ouch Hermione! You are much braver than me! Especially to give them a second try! "Does it hurt"? LoL. What's with that question?? ... um, yeah! LoL


DelFonte said...

Let's try again! There speaks a true spanko, never one to give up too early.

Terpsichore said...

I am sorry they did not turn out as hoped...brave you for giving it a second try...but what spanko would you be if you passed up such a good sale? :-) Hugs

Dragon's Rose said...

We tried to tell you! That loopy may look like a light weight but it is nasty. Hide them and forget about them.

ronnie said...


I can't believe you gace them another go. Loopy Johnny is pure evil. I didn't like the look of the pink rod when you first shared the picture. Don't give up on cane.


an English Rose said...

Hi Hermione, they might look pretty but oh my gosh I don't fancy the loopy thing one little bit. You are much braver than me
love Jan.xx

Aimless Rambling said...

They looked pretty awful to me and they definitely would be buried very deeply never to be found again - never mind giving them another try.

Anonymous said...

Ouch ouch and ouch lol ok I was going to ask if the pretty colours make them more bearable but you answered that one lol loopy is scary and well anything skinny and swishy should be outlawed haha

Sorry about your bum, but sounds like you guys still had fun :)

Hugs x

Anonymous said...

I loved where you said, "Why does he keep asking dumb questions?"

And also how you called the implements the "terrible trio." :)

I love reading these because you always seem so calm about it all. There's no anxiety from you. I wish I was calmer!!! I wouldn't like the loopy johnny either.


Erica said...

It's interesting how some toys are "good bad" and others are just plain "bad bad." I've had experiments like this too.

Ah yes, I've had tops who were fond of saying, "Oh, does that hurt?" Argh. No, it tickles, asshat. :-)

Hermione said...

Abby - Yup, the loopy thing is BAD, even after a second try.

Roz - He loves to ask that question!

DelFonte - I didn't really want to think I had wasted all that money:)

Terps - Thrifty - that's me:)

Rose - I will do exactly as you suggest. Out of sight, out of mind.

Ronnie - The cane was a little too thick, I think.

Jan - I'll only bring them out at Christmastime, for decoration.

Sunny - I just hated to give up.

Missy - The bright pink colour did not help in the slightest.

Sara - The anxiety - and the pain - have long since subsided.

Erica - He's a true Top, idiotic questions and all!


Unknown said...


I got these same items for the man last Christmas in a stocking from Cane-iac. I thought "Oh what a great deal".

Yeah...Just no. I think we only use one item out of the whole package and the rest got auctioned away at a spanking party we attended.

P.S. I have to bite my tongue as well all the time when the rhetorical "Oh does that hurt?" question is uttered. Seriously I think I qualify for sainthood for the restraint I show at such moments :D

Hermione said...

Dawn - Welcome! Yes, that's the special stocking I ordered too. I have been giving the implements to Ron two or three at a time for Valentine's Day, birthday, and this Christmas (with the stocking). We don't mind a couple of them, but there are still a few left in the closet that may never see the light of day.


Anonymous said...

Hmm, what's on the agenda for your next shopping spree. My goodness but you are daring! I hope a cane never makes it into our implements. Sounds like you two had a wonderful experiment though ;) Clara