Saturday, March 18, 2017

You Completed the Caption

Yorkie: So, how long have you had this "Spankophilia"?

Simon: A predictive text nightmare, Sally had actually asked her builder to message her when the job was complete.

kdpierre: Already late for work, Derek looked EVERYWHERE for his missing car keys.

Leigh: Looking to see if he left any bruises from that last spanking.

Hands63: The rump rear looks good today, I'll take 3 pounds.

Baxter: Sally, having read the advertisement, when to the massage parlor to have her butt muscles poked and prodded to get ready for the spanking she knew her husband was going to give her for repeatedly getting speeding tickets with his Ferrari.

Anon: Man: So, after careful examination, I've come to the conclusion that it's going to take four to five spankings a day for the next two months to tone up your bottom and get it ready for bikini season.

Man: Are you sure you got this bruise from slipping on the ice and landing on your butt? This sure likes like the kind of bruise my wife gets when I spank her with a hairbrush.

Man, speaking to husband, who is standing behind the examine table: Okay, sir, I think I know why your wife keeps misbehaving despite all the spankings you've given her ... you're not using the right implements. As an experienced implement guru, I'd say, at the very least, you're going to need a sturdy bath brush or a thick paddle to make an impression on your wife's ample bottom. Anything less just doesn't have the heft to deliver the impact necessary to convey your message. If you'd like, I've got some samples you can try out right now to see which ones work the best.
Husband: Great!
Wife: Oh, noooooooooo!

Woman: Are you sure this is how a deep-tissue butt massage is supposed to be done? The last three massagers always put me across their laps and pounded my bottom with a big, round massage-board. I mean, it hurt like hell, and I had a lot of trouble sitting down for a couple of days, but I have to admit, it certainly was effective at getting rid of any tension I was feeling.
Man: Don't worry, I'm just trying to determine which pad..., er, massage-board, I need to use on this big, beautiful bottom of yours. Once I've done that, you're going to find yourself over my knee for a long, thorough session that will relieve any pent up tension you might be experiencing.

Ronnie: See, I told you I wouldn't leave any bruises.

Sweetspot: Jerry demonstrated to the world in 2012 how it's actually possible to spank in 3D down, UP, left, right, rearward, forward.

Joe's hand sank into the deep crevice and was never heard from again.

Jimmy know it was a big job - but by-golly! he realized someone had to do it!

Three hours into his sacred task and Johnny had made no more progress than if he had
just begun.

James was the first to prove that contrary to popular wisdom beauty is actually more than skin deep.

Dr. Ken: "Okay....wait a minute.....Yes! I found your contact lens!"

Hermione: Okay, I found your bum. Now, tell me again what you want me to do.
From Hermione's Heart

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