Welcome to our weekly spanko brunch. It's nice to see you all again, and I hope you can help me with a problem. Not my problem, but one that one of my regular readers has. He has written to me, telling me that he craves being spanked but his wife flatly refuses to spank him. He keeps on hoping and regularly updates me on the situation, but as far as I know, his wife still has never given him what he desires so much.
What advice can you offer to a man who wishes to be spanked, but whose wife is unwilling to do so?
I look forward to reading your answers and hope especially that my male readers will be able to help. Once every one has given their advice I will publish a summary.
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5 comments:
The wife may have a fear of going beyond her comfort zone and thinking she will be perverted if she spanks her husband. I would suggest that he find a kink positive therapist. He can go to Alternative Therapists Network to find someone. If the wife is willing to talk to a therapist, it might put her mind at ease.
Liza
Hallo,
My wife spanks me but does not like it. She still does it though as she has seen how much I like it and crave it.
She has her reasons and she also has her limits. She does not do role play or punishments and does not do domination. Which is fine because I don’t want that either. All I want is for her to spank me, long and hard. It turns me on and makes me feel more connected to her. And she feels that connection too despite her dislike of it.
The only reason we are able to to do this is because we are totally open and honest with each other and we keep those lines of communication open.
So, the only advice I can offer is to communicate with one another and be completely honest and open with it. Your relationship's strength is vital to be able to engage in this activity or anything else for that matter. If there is no openness or honesty you won't be able to move forward or grow as a couple.
It might take a while or it might not but don't put any pressure on her. Focus on your relationship first. When that's heading in the right direction then you might have more chance.
Yorkie
Wonders why men/women do not disclose their needs before taking their vows.
The woman I married talked about many things prior to marriage. When it came to individual Needs, we talked the longest. There was some heated discussions and we worked them out. Spankings I brought up, she listen to this need and wanted to think about it, which is okay. She wanted to be in charge and I quickly pointed out the spankings. It was a week later that she brought up the spankings and shocked me when she said to undress and wait for her in the bedroom of my apartment. I stood and waited, and waited and when she finally walked in, she smiled and said spankings will be done her way, no matter where. That first spanking told me she was all in, and that sexual content was not part of the spankings, which is what I pointed out. So talking prior to marriage is important and a must, less divorce, really know who you are going to spend your life with. Joseph
"How do I get my 'WIFE' to spank me?" is like asking someone to close the barn door after the cows have all escaped. There is nothing wrong with being interested in spanking AND nothing wrong with not being interested. However, if it is important to a person, it should definitely have been a key conversation prior to signing a Marriage License.
I assume in this day and age a couple has been somewhat sexually active prior to marriage....even if actual intercourse may have been kept on hold. Why would this issue not have been brought up then? I vowed at 19 never to enter a relationship unless the person was compatible to my interests and shared them......and that did not just mean "spanking".
All that said, there are still lots of ways to bring it up now, and hopefully the wife will be adventurous and curious enough to give it a try..... but the real question is: what recourse does a spouse have if the answer is "no! yuck!"?
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