Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for April 16

Here is your excellent advice to a man who wishes his wife would spank him.

Liza: The wife may have a fear of going beyond her comfort zone and thinking she will be perverted if she spanks her husband. I would suggest that he find a kink positive therapist. He can go to Alternative Therapists Network to find someone. If the wife is willing to talk to a therapist, it might put her mind at ease.

Yorkie: The wife may have a fear of going beyond her comfort zone and thinking she will be perverted if she spanks her husband. I would suggest that he find a kink positive therapist. He can go to Alternative Therapists Network to find someone. If the wife is willing to talk to a therapist, it might put her mind at ease.

Bogey: Wonders why men/women do not disclose their needs before taking their vows.

Joseph: The woman I married talked about many things prior to marriage. When it came to individual needs, we talked the longest. There was some heated discussions and we worked them out. Spankings I brought up, she listen to this need and wanted to think about it, which is okay. She wanted to be in charge and I quickly pointed out the spankings. It was a week later that she brought up the spankings and shocked me when she said to undress and wait for her in the bedroom of my apartment. I stood and waited, and waited and when she finally walked in, she smiled and said spankings will be done her way, no matter where. That first spanking told me she was all in, and that sexual content was not part of the spankings, which is what I pointed out. So talking prior to marriage is important and a must, to really know who you are going to spend your life with.

Hermione: I agree that communication is vital in a good relationship.

kdpierre: "How do I get my 'WIFE' to spank me?" is like asking someone to close the barn door after the cows have all escaped. There is nothing wrong with being interested in spanking AND nothing wrong with not being interested. However, if it is important to a person, it should definitely have been a key conversation prior to signing a Marriage License.

I assume in this day and age a couple has been somewhat sexually active prior to marriage...even if actual intercourse may have been kept on hold. Why would this issue not have been brought up then? I vowed at 19 never to enter a relationship unless the person was compatible to my interests and shared them...and that did not just mean "spanking".

All that said, there are still lots of ways to bring it up now, and hopefully the wife will be adventurous and curious enough to give it a try...but the real question is: what recourse does a spouse have if the answer is "no! yuck!"?

Thank you all for your help today.