Do you think that spanking is a gateway to BDSM?
Michael: Sorry if this is a duplicate post. Just learning the site.
Yes, my gf and I have a mutual DD relationship and spanking has evolved into more and varied BDSM play.
KDPierre: No. I don't believe in "gateways" unless the term is used strictly in
the sense of an 'ice-breaker'. As a slippery slope pathway however, no.
And I think the proof for this is quite simple. There are a myriad of
BDSM activities and there are practitioners of some that are simply not
into others (spanking included). You could be into BDSM bondage and not
want to get spanked, and you can like a good spanking yet not want to
have a plug in your bottom, and so on. Having an interest in spanking
can easily coincide with other fetishes and interests, and often
do...(Hell could be the poster-child for this! LOL) but it is not a
'given'. A person could very easily have a 'stand alone' spanking
interest with no other cross-over, and indulging that spanking interest
isn't going to alter that. Now if someone has other, possibly buried,
interests, starting out with spanking could well open the field to
trying the others, but I would not say that's a 'gateway' in the sense
that it is usually used.
Anon 1: Not a bit for most people.
Of all the people I know who like spanking, none are interested in any other aspects of BDSM.
Lea: It wasn't, not for me. Actually, BDSM was a gateway to spanking for us.
We were more D/s and bondage and less impact stuff at first!
I think it depends on the person and what their leanings are to begin with.
Sir Wendel: It is not for us. We just like to spank each other and not interested in anything more extreme.
abby: For me the answer is yes. All I was interested in was spanking...never
even had considered BDSM...M, in his wise way, slowly introduced me to
'pleasures' of it.
Roz: For us over time the level of intensity and implements increased and
spanking did on occasion lead to other activities such as light bondage,
clamps etc
Willie: In our case it was. We started out what many would consider a Dd couple
and that moved into what is basically classified in this corner of
blogland ( or my impression is) to D/s. Barney uses BDSM as play and to
'reset' us. It is more for his enjoyment than mine. LOL. But the end
result is always good - much like spanking. For us spanking has physical
limitations, so this is where other BDSM activities come into play. All
in all it allows us to get back to our roles when life pulls us apart.
Prior to our Dd life and spanking, I never ONCE considered BDSM.
Katie: I don't think that it is necessarily a gateway unless one wants it to
be. Though our focus day to day is on spanking, I'd say that we dabble
in D/s lite too. I've always looked at it as ttwd "with a twist of
D/s"! We found just the right balance for the dynamic that we have. Can
be lots of fun! ;)
Dan: For us, it worked kind of the opposite. We started off with "play
spanking" that we never really labeled as BDSM but it basically was a
form of BDSM "scening." We also experimented with some other
BDSM-oriented kinkiness. But, my wife grew concerned that play-acting a
scene in which I was fake punished for real bad conduct might actually
reinforce the bad conduct. I then stumbled across the concept of
spanking as a form of adult discipline -- otherwise known as Domestic
Discipline -- and we gave it a try. Now, we use spanking exclusively as
discipline, and most of the BDSM activities have stopped.
So, I
don't see spanking as a "gateway" so much as a very flexible means to
all sorts of ends. It can be erotic or disciplinary, play-acting or all
too real.
Ronnie: I never really thought of BDSM before spanking but over time, we've done
the role play, different implements, clamps, little bondage so I
suppose the answer is a sort of yes as we would never have tried the
other had we not started spanking.
Rosco: We don’t really use the phrase BDSM. But my wife first spanked me in
1980, and we’ve extended our activities in many ways since then.
I
was the one who first asked to be spanked. It took her a little while
to get into it, but then she sent me out to buy a riding crop. Then it
was toys so she could violate my bottom.
She also dresses me in panties and will spank me and put me to bed in a frilly pink nightgown.
I’m
often bound at the head and feet in bed - just loose enough so I can
turn over. She’ll thrash my bottom, then turn me over and sit on my face
- I call it reverse cowgirl cunnilingus. Usually I’m tied up when we
have sex. But sometimes she’ll leave me tied up for awhile waiting and
wanting.
She doesn’t wear leather, but does have a number of sexy outfits that she wears.
Is this BDSM? I don’t know.
Yorkie: No. Never. And never will be. She hates spanking me but still does it
bless her but neither of us are interested in anything more.
Hermione: Several years ago I discovered a television series called Kink. Each season, the show documented the kinky activities of several couples and individuals in a different Canadian city. Oh my! I learned so much about kinks I had never even heard of! But the only part that really interested me was the spanking. Flogging, maybe. A little bondage, yeah, okay. But nipple clamps made from tiny clothes pins from the dollar store? Forget it! Most of what I saw turned me off, but it was worth watching to catch glimpses of people engaging in what I loved most. What I learned was that I am quite happy to remain a spanko, but that there are more pleasures out there for those who are inclined to try them.
Thank you all for presenting all sides of this interesting theory.
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