You Completed the Caption

These happy travellers have been up to lots of mischief!

Mindset: "No! It's my turn to be the HO. You have to be the BO this time!"

Tex: Quit worrying! I'm sure the engineer will notice our red flag in time to stop.

Kingspan: I told you if we ran away from home to avoid a spanking we should put our pants back ON and take our high heels OFF. But nooo - we had to do things your way!

Velvet: Yes I AM sure we are on the right track...

Simon: The remake of The Railway Children was proceeding well.

or

Are you sure this is the way all trainspotters dress?

Ronnie: "If you hadn't spent our hotel money on that silly bandana we wouldn't have had to make a run for it dressed like this."

Daisychain: The girls were so, so drunk, that when the officer told them to try and walk in a straight line, they decided to use the railway line to help...but they should have taken their high heels off first!

Six of the Best: Hermione says to Bonnie, "Are we on the right 'tracks', for some 'whacks', from our hubbies?

Bonnie: "Did he said he wanted to put our butts on some tracks or put some tracks on our butts?"

Vfrat25000: Butch Cassidy and Jesse James found an entirely new way to rob trains but at the end of the day the thongs left a terrible rash and the shoes a few nasty blisters.

Megan and Paula finally realized after several hours, they must have the wrong location for the National Limbo Finals.

The Santa Fe Railroad finally caved in to the Employee Union’s demand for upgraded railroad track inspection procedures.

After an intensive investigative report by KOFO news it was determined that the security personnel for the railroads differed somewhat from that of the airlines.

Boxcar Wilma and Freight Train Freda finally gather the courage to leave their jobs as Heart Surgeons and pursue their dream to become country singers in Nashville.

Annie Lou, are you absolutely positive this is the location for the America’s Got Talent tryouts?

Why do I hear a train whistle?

Responding directly from a Retirement Party for Captain Smith the Bugtussle Bomb Disposal Team carefully removes a suspicious package from the local train station.

Vfrat, you outdid yourself this time!

Richardmt: Oh yeah, sure! "The next train's going to stop," you said.

Prefectdt: "Back in the 1920's, all we had to do was not pay the rent and refuse to get married and a nice gent with a mustache and a black top hat would have done the deed for us. Now we have to tie ourselves to the track and wait for a hero to turn up."

Sarah Thorne: Oh my!! I guess that's one way to hitchhike! (That's not a caption, just an observation!!)

Stormy: "Lets get out of here, and take the cane too!"

Hermione: Motorists at the railway crossing were astonished to see not one but two cute cabooses following the 12:15 train.


Thanks for sending summer on its way with a smile! See you all next week.

Complete the Caption

Today's picture was sent to me by my good friends Season and Michael at Blossom and Thorn. These two imps are setting out on a great adventure. What excitement awaits them? They seem to be traveling light; did they decide to leave in a hurry?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will publish your itineraries in the next post.

Friday Fail

Things you can't do at work

Naughty Noodles

Last night we watched an episode of a new television program called Consumed. Each week, a professional organizer visits the home of a family who has accumulated way too much "stuff". She shows them how to live with less, and helps them dispose of their unnecessary possessions.

In the episode we saw, the man of the house showed Ms Organizer how he had decluttered the toolshed. The cameras panned across the cleared floor and tidily organized items on shelves and in boxes. What struck me was a large barrel filled with about a dozen pool noodles. It struck Ms O too.

"Oh, look," she said. "You've made a noodle bouquet!"

I asked Ron, "Why would they need twelve pool noodles? Hmmm. Maybe it's for something kinky."

"We'll have to look into that," Ron said with an evil grin.

So I'm asking you, dear readers. What naughtiness could you get up to with a noodle? Do you remember that Ann Landers (or was it Dear Abby?) used to say, whenever she had been wrong about something, "I'll take fifteen lashes with a wet noodle."

They don't look practical for spanking, but then, I haven't tried it. Any suggestions?

Candy with a Kink

Last week I found some more kinky candy available in Canada.

Whips and straps and sugar, oh my! So what are they - whips or straps? They seem to be the same candy as these Tangy Zesty Belts, repackaged.

Like the Terry's chocolate orange, here is another treat from England that you have to whack before you can enjoy. Just like a bottom!

From the Top Shelf - Spin Dry

Sam Jayne's short story "Spin Dry" is a sweet tale about a woman who uses a washing machine for sexual pleasure. It isn't portable like a vibrator, but it's what she likes best. When her washer breaks down, she goes out I search of another, even though she hasn't any money. When she meets Jed on the street and learns he has won a large amount on a lottery scratch card, she invites him to her flat for whatever sexual favours he wants, in exchange for the money. What happens next surprises Kay and delights Jed, who has been trying unsuccessfully to bed her for a long time.

He followed Kay into the lounge and obediently sat down on her mattress while she disappeared into the bathroom. When she re-entered the makeshift bedroom his heart was thumping. She stood in her underwear - a black lace thong and bra - brandishing a cat o'nine tails Jed had purchased....

After restraining Jed, she gets down to business. Even though the role of domme is one she had never experienced before, Kay gets a thrill from it.

"Worthless scum," Kay hissed as she drew back the flogger and lashed Jed for the first time. He grunted as the whip struck his body, his buttocks clenching in the confines of his shorts. "Useless dog! Here's another..."

This time Jed couldn't contain a more audible yelp as the whip stung his flesh. Again and again Kay brought the nine tails of the flogger down on his back, reddening the skin until it was visibly sore.

Jed and Kay thoroughly enjoy themselves, and when it's over, she takes the money and runs, literally, to the home furnishings store to buy her new washer and have it delivered that evening. (This is fiction, so anything's possible.)

Turning on the controls to the fastest spin-dry speed, she grinned as the machine buzzed into life. On top of the washer Jed sat helplessly awaiting his torture. Kay could not pretend she hadn't enjoyed the afternoon and damned if she was going to let this man get away. With a smirk that promised pain she produced the cat o'nine tails from behind her back...

Jed shook his head, not quite believing his luck. Who'd have guessed the mysterious Kay was a closet dominatrix? Certainly not him, but there was little time to ponder this now. Duty called. Tensing his buttocks, he held his breath and braced himself as best he could for his very first washing machine thrashing. 

From The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica, Volume 8, edited by Maxim Jakubowski.

Spank Like a Pirate

Today is Talk like a pirate day. In keeping with the theme, here are some helpful spanking terms that have been piratized:

You've been a naughty wench

Hand me that yardarm

Bend over the plank

Lower yer sails and present yer poopdeck

Incoming cannons on the starboard bow

Arrrrr--ouch!