Naughty Noodles

Last night we watched an episode of a new television program called Consumed. Each week, a professional organizer visits the home of a family who has accumulated way too much "stuff". She shows them how to live with less, and helps them dispose of their unnecessary possessions.

In the episode we saw, the man of the house showed Ms Organizer how he had decluttered the toolshed. The cameras panned across the cleared floor and tidily organized items on shelves and in boxes. What struck me was a large barrel filled with about a dozen pool noodles. It struck Ms O too.

"Oh, look," she said. "You've made a noodle bouquet!"

I asked Ron, "Why would they need twelve pool noodles? Hmmm. Maybe it's for something kinky."

"We'll have to look into that," Ron said with an evil grin.

So I'm asking you, dear readers. What naughtiness could you get up to with a noodle? Do you remember that Ann Landers (or was it Dear Abby?) used to say, whenever she had been wrong about something, "I'll take fifteen lashes with a wet noodle."

They don't look practical for spanking, but then, I haven't tried it. Any suggestions?