Friday FAIL

Product labels and messages that FAILed.

 Price tag placement leads to confusion. It still might be a game worth playing.

 That would dissolve the wax, but how to get it in your ear?

 You have been warned!

In case you can't read the handwriting, it says:
Fix stove
Was unplugged
Dumbass

 There's no arguing with a generator.

Pain or Pleasure?

What is it about pain that appeals to us spankos when we experience it on our nether regions? Why is it so pleasurable on our bottoms, yet quite unwelcome when we feel it on other parts of our body?

I had reason to ponder this anomaly last weekend when I was preparing dinner for some guests. I had filled some flattened chicken breasts with asparagus and cheese, rolled them up, secured them with toothpicks, and browned them in a skillet on the stove. Then I placed the skillet in the oven to finish cooking the chicken rolls. When they were done I removed the skillet from the oven, then decided it would be a good idea to remove the wooden toothpicks, so my guests would not injure themselves or accidentally eat them.

This proved more difficult than I thought. They refused to budge. I struggled to restrain a piece of chicken with tongs while I pulled at the hot toothpicks with my fingers. The pan started to spin, and in an effort to control it I grabbed the handle, forgetting that it had just come out of the oven. Yeowch! I let go immediately and rushed to the sink to put out the fire in my hand with cold water. But I couldn't linger; the food was cooling off.

"Ron," I called. "Can you get me the pliers?" I was determined to get those toothpicks out one way or another and put the meal on the table, in spite of the pain.

Ron came into the kitchen, took one look at my face and asked what was wrong. I showed him my hand and explained what had happened. After examining my burn, he obligingly fetched the pliers, but he was no more successful than I had been in removing the wooden objects. He declared that we would simply warn our guests about the embedded hazards, and together we plated the food. (I hope Gordon Ramsey doesn't find out about this. He would spank us both.)

While Ron carried the plates to the table, I ran upstairs, broke a stalk off my aloe vera plant, and pressed the jellylike interior against my blistered hand. It felt better immediately.

My hand throbbed all through dinner and for the rest of the evening. I endured it, but couldn't help wondering about the paradox. When I am spanked, the pain is much worse than what I was feeling in my hand, but pain from a spanking is also pleasurable. Why wasn't I enjoying my burning hand in the same way? Why was it just painful, but not in a good way?

I am always stoic about pain from injuries, and rarely make a fuss. I didn't tell our guests about my accident and did my best to conceal my discomfort. Spanking, on the other hand, makes me shout, squeal, and protest loudly. It's my way of showing my appreciation, I suppose. If I were to endure a spanking silently, Ron would probably think I wasn't enjoying it, and might even stop.

What about you? What are your thoughts on pain and how you handle it?

Wednesday WIN

There's something for everyone in this assortment of gems from my cartoon collection.

Come Follow Me

For most of us on Blogger, it is a real source of pleasure to view our blog and see the number of followers we have. The Followers gadget is a handy way for readers to tell a blogger that they like his or her blog and want to keep up with the latest posts. Besides having the reader's picture appear as a follower, the blog is automatically added to the reader's reading list (if the reader is also on Blogger) and to the reader's Google Reader. It has benefits for the blogger too. A blogger can click on the picture of any follower, find and follow that person's blog, and form a new friendship.

All this is made possible by a feature known as Google Friend Connect. Here's what mine looks like. You can also see it in the sidebar on the right.

At one time, every new blog created in Blogger automatically included this gadget, so it was easy to attract followers. But times have changed. Google+ has replaced Google Friend Connect, and GFC is slowly being phased out. It often doesn't work properly, and the Google engineers aren't too concerned about fixing the glitches. Still, it's a very handy gadget, and an excellent alternative for those of us who don't want to use Google+. The replacement gadget - Google+ Followers - is only for Google+ accounts, and many of us don't want to make the switch to Google+.


So why don't new bloggers (or old bloggers with new blogs) simply add the gadget themselves?

Good question. The answer is, it's hard to find. In an attempt to force people to use Google+ Followers instead, the clever engineers have made it seem that the old Followers gadget is no longer an option. You may go to your layout, click Add a Gadget, and come up empty-handed. But don't despair. If you promise not to tell Google that you heard it here, I'll let you in on the secret.

When you try to add a gadget, and scroll through all the possible gadgets, you won't see Followers. But if you click on More Gadgets in the upper left, guess what?

You will see another long list of even more available gadgets, and Followers is at the very bottom of the list. Voila! Now all you have to do is select it, and it will be added to your blog layout. Save the layout and you're done!

Now sit back and watch the number of your followers increase each day. It works for both Google+ and regular Google, as well as Yahoo, Twitter, OpenID, Netlog and AIM accounts.

From the Top Shelf - Coming to Terms

Coming to Terms is a new ebook by seven of our blogging friends and authors. The spanking fiction anthology which includes stories by Jade Cary, Cara Bristol, Alta Hensley, Celeste Jones, Sue Lyndon, Renee Rose and Anastasia Vistky.


The excerpt I've chosen to share with you is from "Reconnecting" by Celeste Jones. There's something special about her story - apart from the spankings, that is. Celeste has recreated our blogging world in her story.  You just might be able to relate to Daisy, a woman in a DD relationship who has been spending entirely too much time online lately. Her husband Reece knows and tries to put a stop to it by asking her to keep a record of what she does all day. Daisy visits many of the blogs that you probably also read. Modesty forbids me from including the passage where my blog is mentioned, but I've included a section that contains references to three popular bloggers. Read on!

Shouldn’t you get off the computer for a little while? I’d hate for you to get in trouble. Minelle always acted like such a scaredy cat.

You work hard. This is your time off. You should be able to spend it how you like. Ana preferred to be more confrontational.

Like a scene in a movie, Daisy felt as though she had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. She knew who she should listen to. Whether she actually would seemed unlikely.

She’d obeyed Reece’s instruction to print out the time log, which broke the day into fifteen-minute increments. Since she didn’t wake up until about nine she wrote sleeping for the hours up to then. From noon to twelve-thirty, she wrote in lunch. In truth, she ate a sandwich at her computer while playing a word game with her mother, and catching up on the posts from ‘My Bottom Smarts Brunch’. Bonnie always had the best discussions about DD-related topics. And it was The Source for all the latest spanking blogs. Finding ‘My Bottom Smarts’ had been like opening a spankophile treasure chest. Fortunately, Reece had been out of town that night, because she stayed up nearly until dawn clicking from blog to blog to blog, soaking up spanking posts like a dried-up sponge in a bucket of water.

Didn’t Reece understand? This community played an important part in her life, and she’d been excited about spending uninterrupted time catching up on all the posts she’d been meaning to get to. She even had a list of blogs she yearned to visit, but hadn’t had time to yet.

Reece comes home to find that Daisy has been online all day and what's worse, has lied to him about how she spent her day. There was only one way to deal with that!

He spoke softly. “I realize you don’t agree with my decision to discipline you.” Although he couldn’t see her face, he imagined her cheeky expression in response. “But, I appreciate the fact that you have not resisted.” His hand lifted and lowered to connect with her left cheek. Usually the first stroke of red to her fair skin excited him. Tonight it saddened him.

He continued his duties. Three quick swats to the same spot on her left cheek, followed by an equal number on the right. Daisy neither spoke nor moved.

By now warmth spread across her buttocks. His fingers started to sting, but his task had just begun. He brought his palm down repeatedly on the same spot on the underside of her cheek, but it brought no response from Daisy. She did not complain or resist. Her stoic submission created an ache in his heart. While he tried to connect with her, she shut him out.

Usually a firm spanking helped them to resolve their differences, but this one seemed to be having the opposite effect. Unwilling to allow her to avoid punishment, Reece set his resolve and swung his hand down upon her backside with even more force. By now, her entire rear end colored deep crimson, her thighs nearly as dark. Under normal circumstances, Reece would have deemed this amount of punishment sufficient, but he could tell she had not given up control. Had not given up her righteousness.

He reached for the nightstand and pulled out the leather paddle. Her body stiffened at the sound of the drawer opening and closing. They both knew it could only mean one thing.

He’d honestly hoped realizing he had the paddle would create a stronger reaction.

It did, but little did Daisy know that the worst was yet to come, and it didn't involve spanking.

Coming to Terms is available on
Amazon US
Amazon UK
Amazon CA
Amazon DE

You Completed the Caption

This image from days gone by inspired an abundance of creative captions.


 Bob: Just can’t think of anything for Hermione’s complete the caption. Perhaps if I stay in this position long enough someone will lift my skirts and in-still some motivation.


Sir Wendel Jones: Now I stand before you praying as this day is coming to a close and I fear my bottom will be full sore.
Oh dear Lord, spare me the thrashing I shall surely get whence my husband comes a knocking on my chamber door.
Quoth the Dragon - You ain’t got a chance, missy.

DelFonte: Her father had told her a dragon was not a suitable pet. Now she was waiting for St. George to turn up and teach her lesson.

GaryNTboy: I swear, if that maid doesn't come and loosen this corset I'll turn her into a dragon.....Ooops...sorry. I didn't mean to do that !!

Spanky: "No! I said Dragoon!"

Sunnygirl: You can pray all you want, you're still getting that spanking.

Vfrat25000: Let’s see. What are live dragons going for on E-Bay?

Puff you darn dragon. Did you eat Mr. Perrywinkle?
That figures. His life insurance doesn’t go into effect until tomorrow!

Oh my stars. I have the MOTHER of all hangovers and some idiot left his dog for me to watch!

Is this animal control? This is Mrs. Pudwhistle at 1402 Wee Willy Lane. I have a live dragon in my bedroom. Would you please come over and pick him, up as soon as possible. Yes a dragon. He scaly, green, breathes fire and has wings. That sounds like a dragon to you doesn’t it? Hello! Hello! Hello!

Where am I going to find a litter box for a dragon?

Revered Mulligan, this is Mrs. Clinghoffer. I need some assistance. My idiot husband has turned himself into a dragon. What do you mean you don’t turn dragons back into people? Have you tried?

A. Lurker: The dragon is thinking "I would love to set that rump on fire!"

Six of the best: Hermione, that lady of a bygone era, is thinking about the naughtiness she committed, and is about to have her long dress raised waist high. Her bloomers will be comimg down. And on her bare bottom, her husband has promised to give her 'six of the best' hard strokes of a pliable stinging cane.

Bonnie: "Alas, no perfume or cleanser can remove the overpoweringly pungent smell of brimstone."

Prefectdt: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
Bless this rump I sit upon
And if I brat or law do break
To my rear a cane do take
Amen.

Michael: "Alas, nobody understands me except my pet dragon, Smaug." *sigh*

lill jo: Man. my butt is swollen from that last spanking!

Welcome lill jo!

Ricky: Oh, my gosh! Flying dragons! What's next?
OK, OK, I'm sorry I cheated at bingo!

Lady Koregan: You conjured a dragon.
You conjured a dragon.
A DRAGON!!!
Oh my aching head!
How many times have I told you to leave grand-mama's Grimore alone?
I'll call the exterminator. In the meantime, go up to your room and wait for me. I'm going to show you a much more practical use for that wand of yours...

Thank you all for having fun with me this weekend.

Complete the Caption

Some days nothing goes right. This poor lady seems to be in distress. What would help her feel better?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will publish your speculations in the next post.