Red and white ... and red

To celebrate Canada Day today, Ron brought out our red and white implements and gave me a very thorough and patriotic bottom-warming. First, the red leather slapper was applied slowly and methodically.

"Did you know the side with the holes makes a different sound from the side without?" Ron asked me.

"Mmmph. No," I muttered from beneath the bedspread where my upper half had taken refuge. "Show me."

He did, and he was right. You learn something new every day!

Then Ron switched to the white composite spatula/paddle. Brisk, sharp strokes as the paddle danced over my cheeks; back and forth, up and down.

Back to the red leather, slow and solemn.

then the white, rapid-fire staccato.

Red thunderous swats, and white lightning in a grand finale.

And he concluded his version of our national anthem, I was displaying a very red rear - highly appropriate for our country's birthday. I'll be standing at attention for a while.


Happy Canada Day!