From the Top Shelf - Outlander

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon is based on the unlikely premise that time travel is possible. A young nurse, visiting Scotland with her husband shortly after World War II, suddenly finds herself transported to a time two hundred years earlier.

This was enough to make me put the book aside the first time I tried to read it about ten years ago. When I recently found out it contained spanking, I picked it up and tried again. It also makes me wonder about the person who recommended it the first time. But since I was told, in every new and used book store I visited, that this and other books by the author fly off the shelves, either I live in a city full of spankos, or perhaps there's more to the book than spanking.

But back to the story.

Claire becomes involved with a group of highland rebels, and it turns out that the English villain of the story is a distant ancestor and lookalike of her husband of the future. She marries the dashing and mysterious Jamie to save herself from punishment by the English.

Although there are frequent references and graphic descriptions of other kinds of physical punishment throughout the book, the spanking doesn't happen until about half-way through. Claire and Jamie are traveling in a group, and there is danger, adventure and love-making at every turn. When the latest sign of danger appears, Jamie orders Claire to stay hidden the bushes with her horse while he and his men ride off to take care of various obligations. Claire refuses and wants to go with her man. Jamie sets her straight:

"Did ye no promise to obey me?" he asked, shaking me gently.

"Yes, but--" but only because I had to, I was going to say, but he was already urging my horse's head around toward the thicket.

"It's verra dangerous, and I'll not have ye there, Claire. I shall be busy, and if it comes to it, I can't fight and protect you at the same time." Seeing my mutinous look, he dropped his hand to the saddlebag and began rummaging.

"What are you looking for?"

"Rope. If ye wilna do as I say, I shall tie ye to a tree until I come back."

"You wouldn't!"

"Aye, I would!" Plainly he meant it. I gave in with bad grace, and reluctantly reined in my horse...

"Oh, one more thing."

What's that?" I said sullenly.

"If you leave that copse before I come for ye, I'll tan your bare arse wi' my sword belt. Ye wouldna enjoy walking all the way to Bargrennan. Remember," he said, pinching my cheek gently, "I dinna make idle threats."

You won't be surprised to learn that as soon as Jamie is out of sight, Claire wanders off. She is captured by the English and taken to cruel Captain Randall to meet her fate. She makes herself at home in his office, rummages through his things, and writes a rude word on his desk blotter.

I was seated behind the desk, comb in hand, studying my reflection in the looking glass, when the Captain came in. He gave me a glance that took in my disheveled appearance, the rifled cupboard, and the disfigured blotter.

Without blinking, he drew up a chair and sat down across from me, lounging casually with one booted foot resting on the opposite knee. A riding crop dangled from one fine, aristocratic hand. I watched the braided tip, black and scarlet, as it swung slowly back and forth over the carpet.

"The idea has its attraction," he said, watching my eyes follow the sweep of the whip. "But I could probably think of something better, given a few moments to collect myself."

"I daresay you could," I said, fingering a thick sheaf of hair out of my eyes. "But you aren't allowed to flog women, are you?"

"Only under certain circumstances," he said politely. "Which your situation doesn't meet--yet. That's rather public, though. I thought we might get better acquainted in private, first."

He pours them each a glass of claret then interrogates her, but she refuses to give him any useful information, even though she is getting slightly tipsy.

The tension was slightly relieved by the entrance of an orderly, bearing a tray of tea things. Still silent, Randall poured out and offered me a cup. We sipped some more.

Don't tell me," I said finally. "Let me guess. It's a new form of persuasion you've invented--torture by bladder. You ply me with drinkables until I promise you anything in exchange for five minutes with a chamber pot."

(That didn't have anything to do with spanking but was too funny not to include.)

The long and the short of it is that Jamie rescues her in the nick of time, at great risk to himself and his men. Was there ever any doubt? She apologizes for disobeying his order and he forgives her. But Jamie is a man of his word, and she will pay the penalty. Next week.