Thursday, October 6, 2011

Ass Bats

"What do you want for Christmas?" My considerate husband asked me on October 1.

It was too early for me to want to think about all the hassle that accompanies the festive season, never mind the inevitable snow and ice. But one subject is never far from my mind, so I gave him a thoughtful grin and he immediately got the message.

"No ass bats," he declared. "We have more than enough ass bats. They won't all fit in the toy box."

"I was thinking leather. We have enough wood, but we could use more leather."

"We have leather."

"Not much. How about a nice leather paddle?" I was warming to the subject now, and more possibilities came to mind. "I'd like to try a cane. Or a carpet beater would be nice."

I hope Ron is going to write down my helpful suggestions. Maybe I should send him a few links to implement sites and let him know what size and colour would fit my bottom best.
From Hermione's Heart


PK said...

Although many of my friends will disagree with me I will give you the best advice I can give. Two words - NO CANE!


Anonymous said...

Carpet beater? They look nasty. Stick with more leather.

Dee said...

Gotta agree with PK, the cane is unlike anything else! Leather is nice though, I've not long bought a leather paddle and it surprised me how different it felt to wooden implements.

Dee x

ronnie said...

The cane or a carpet beater. Nice choices. My Christmas present to P this year will be a carpet beater. An implement I've never tried.

Personally I would go for leather over wood.

I do disagree with PK about the cane:) In my opinion as long as the cane is handled skillfully and used gently at first it can give as much pleasure as any other implement.


FLR said...

When my wife wants to use a silent implement she always uses the carpet beater. To me it's far mor painful than the cane.

Anonymous said...

I like the idea of the carpet beater. You could always hang it up somewhere for decoration, lol!

Love and hugs,

maui girl said...

Gosh, now I can't wait for Christmas!

sixofthebest said...

Of course Hermione, I would choose that pliable stinging swishy cane, for that voluptous bare bottom of yours. 'Six of the best', to you, with my compliments.

kiwigirliegirl said...

after having the dreaded wooden paddle - i think i would prefer leather. As for the cane, well you all know my thoughts of the cane *still rubbing my sore behind from Monday*
hubby wants a carpet beater hmmmf!!!

bree said...

Hmmm.....the carpet beater feels like a cross between the cane and strap to me. I like it. There are different type of carpet beaters, though. My experience was with a rattan carpet beater. Mmmmmm...

Hermione said...

PK - I have a feeling I will be very sorry if I don't take your advice.

Joey - That's good advice. I like leather.

Dee - I love my leather paddle too.

Ronnie - That sounds like a lovely gift. Decorative, too! I know you like the cane; that's why I want to try it.

Sore Ass - So carpet beaters are quiet? Who knew? Welcome to blogging. As soon as you have dome posts up, I'm sure Bonnie will link to your blog.

Kitty - That's what I thought. No one else in the neighbourhood would have one.

Maui Girl - Are you going to use any of these suggestions too?

Six - I figured you would. Just for you, then, the cane it shall be!

Kiwi - Another vote for the carpet beater, for your hubby. Leather for pleasure, too.

Bree - You make it sound quite yummy! Maybe I'll have to ask for all three implements then.


Christina said...

Honestly, I've never asked for an implement or given Jim one for a Christmas gift - interesting idea ... hmmm ...

I hope you get what you want!

Lea said...

You know you're a spanko when your entire Christmas wish list is available on Cane-iac. Lol.

Hermione said...

Christina - Thank you. I hope so too, and I also hope I've given you some inspiration.

Lea - I could say that! They sell leather too.