Wednesday WIN

It's a hot day and I'm feeling thirsty, so here is a collection of bottles that might do the trick.

Good for what ails you

For a relationship gone sour

Gin for Miss Gin. Head on over to Miss Gin's blog to find out the reason for such a fine gift.

This kitteh has had a few too many and is preparing to pounce. Butt wiggle engaged!

Ellen and the Dragon's Teeth

When we last saw Ellen, her new acquaintance Roderick had given her a very sound spanking, and followed that up with vigorous some love-making which I chose to omit due to ts graphic nature. In this excerpt from Ellen's Story, the pair go on an adventurous expedition, and I decided to include the sexual activity that takes place.

It had been Roderick's idea to take me on what he called 'a pilgrimage', and when I had asked him where, he had put his finger to his lips and murmured mysteriously, "Wait and see!"

After several miles of hot, exhausting climbing I realised from the direction we were heading in that he was leading me to the Dragon's Teeth - the rock strewn ridge forever brooding down at us from the steep horizon. Local folk shunned this place. It was reputedly haunted by the devil himself. It was also commonly believed that all the ill weather - thunder, lightning, fog and tempests - was bred and nurtured high on that barren peak.

Happily there were no storms looming on that July day. The sky was cobalt-blue. Gossamer clouds floated like lazy galleons above the encompassing hills. The air was heavy with summer. Hand in hand Roderick and I toiled towards the distant rock summit while all around us stretched a crimson sea of heather. Birds shrieked overhead, wheeling and plunging in the wind that forever blows in those hills. Soon the valleys and the plain below were lost to view, cut off by the high plateau that surrounded us. On the extreme western horizon we could just discern the hazy peak of Cader Idris.

On the way, Roderick told me a little about the customs in pagan times, of which he said he had to make a study. Today, he declared, we would re-enact one of the most ancient rites - the rite of sacrifice!

I was both intrigued and more than slightly apprehensive, since he refused to give any explanation whatsoever as to his meaning...

At that moment we clambered up into the very jaws of the Dragon's Teeth. To our right lay the stupendous mound of rocks known as Lucifer's Throne, while at our feet the plain far below stretched away into seeming infinity.

Suddenly the world down there seemed a hostile, perilous place - and I clung to Roderick for safety and protection. "I am so frightened by what the future might hold in store for me," I murmured softly, seeking reassurance from the warm virile strength of his body. "I wish we could be together always."

Far below us to the west, the land was gashed as far as the eye could see by mountainous masses, like waves on a troubled sea, while above, grey and white fleeced clouds scurried over our heads.

I felt tiny, insignificant, and frighteningly vulnerable - even though my darling was there by my side, Aware of my fears, Roderick roughly flung me into an enormous bear-hug and kissed me so fiercely that one by one all my terrors and anxieties melted away.

Then the wind gathered itself into one great malicious gust and blew my frock and petticoat up above my thighs, revealing the tops of my black stockings and my spotlessly white linen drawers. I cried out in embarrassment - more so when Roderick, delighted by the sudden disorder in my dress, placed his hands under my ballooning skirts and, swiftly loosening my drawers, tore them down to below my knees.

"Roderick no! Not here in the open air where people can see!" I shrieked. Naked from the waist down I vainly wrestled with my captor as he laughingly dragged me towards the silent brooding bulk of Lucifer's Throne. The black rocks that rudely formed the shape of a gigantic chair had been so chiselled by the elements until they resembled the contorted faces of malignant beasts.

He pushed me face downwards across the seat of the throne so that my bare bottom was bent up at a shockingly immodest angle. To no avail did I struggle and kick my black-stockinged legs, for he held me securely pinned by the waist.

"Don't do it here, please Roderick - I beg you!" I implored, guessing his intention. But my feeble voice was borne rapidly away by the onrush of the wind.

"The Dragon's Teeth demand a sacrifice!" he chanted solemnly, running his hand over my shamefully naked bottom and down between my thighs. The more I protested and struggled, the more excited and carried away he became.

He plucked a supple bracken frond growing at his feet and measured it across the roundness of my squirming posterior. "In pagan times," he declared, intoning the words slowly as though they were part of a ritual, "the high priest would sacrifice a beautiful maiden to the gods by spilling her blood.." then he chuckled merrily and his voice once more became Roderick's, "...but this particular high priest proposes nothing more sacrificial for his lovely victim than a well whipped bottom!" and he commenced warming my bare backside with a series of deft, swishy strokes with the wand that, although not exactly painful, nevertheless made me yelp and wriggle in great abandonment.

I would never have admitted it, but in truth I found the role of sacrificial victim in which he cast me immensely exciting. Added to that, I felt by then that I could trust him sufficiently not to exceed all bounds and inflict real injury to my person.

"Swish! Swish! Swish!" said the busy little wand, heating up the flesh of my buttocks and creating darts of exquisite pleasure that stung my sex, making it throb and pulsate with awakened desire.

The sacrificial weapon continued to hum as it gradually broke down all the barriers of my maidenly resistance, high up there on that primeval rocky ridge. My bottom began to feel as if it had been pricked all over with needles. My legs grew weak and ceased to kick.....

He drew me even further over the seat of the throne so that my legs dangled helplessly - then, pushing them wide apart, he aimed his swishy wand at the lips of my sex, invoking incredible sensations with delicate little strokes which opened and moistened my sensitive slit.

I groaned and dilated involuntarily as the excruciatingly delicious torment impelled me nearer and nearer towards a wild consummation which, when it came, tore through my body as though it were the Golden Arrow itself - that burnished shaft of ancient Welsh border country legend that wounds before it can heal...

With my poor bottom still red and stinging from the myriad blows of his little love-birch, Roderick laid me down amid the springy heather. He released his burgeoning penis from the tight confines of his trousers, swiftly penetrated me, and soon our mingled juices overflowed and ran down into the rocky soil beneath our spread-eagled bodies - like blood from a freshly donated sacrifice...

A willing sacrifice indeed!

You Completed the Caption

This was how the photo was captioned on HistoricLOLs.com.  Now here's what you thought it should be:


DelFonte: Rehearsals for the pony girl trials were fundamentally flawed, but nobody had the heart to tell the happy couple.

Arched one: I told him I wanted a pony, and this is what I got.

Ricky: Well, it's obvious she's never heard of "I can't get no satisfaction . . ."
Ride 'im, cowgirl!

Six of the best: This picture caption, might be called 'Home on the Range' to her. But soon her 'britches' will be in stitches, from the pain of a cane, given by John Wayne.

Bonnie: "When the old folks told us that they liked to go riding, this wasn't what we envisioned at all."

Bobbie Jo: Him: Mabel doesn't know it yet, but I'm going to show her the kind of fun "I" like to have.
Her: I wonder if Henry is thinking what I am thinking: more fun later in the bedroom with my favorite implement, his belt.

Ronnie: Saturdays would never be the same again after Gladys had read Horse and Hound.

Simon: Spending the money she'd saved for a mobility scooter had seemed like a good idea at the time.

Mitch Philbin: She says, "Hi, Ho Silver! And I don't mean the silver hair."

GaryNTboy: Aunty Kath invited me round for tea tonight. Oh how I regret turning up too early...

Vfrat25000: Mildred, I think we can forget about the nursing home for Aunt Edna. It appears that the estrogen supplements have started working

GRANDMA!!!!!!!

Mommy, what is grandma doing to grandpa?
Sweetie, it’s something I have tried to get your daddy to do for the last 10 years.

The town gossips found out Berthing Millweather wasn’t attending her bridge club meeting every Wednesday evening. Instead she and her boyfriend Freddy Bindacre were frequenting Millie’s House of BDSM and Spankaporium.

George was a Deacon and Mary Lou sang in the choir but after church Mary Lou changed into Granny Dom and George became Medicare Boy.

Milly Featherholder the Senior Center Activities Director was quoted as saying “Screw the Water Aerobics” I have something MUCH BETTER in mind.

Minelle: Hmmm maybe that wasn't the kind of riding he envisioned!

Red: It is always much more fun to ride bareback like this, than side saddle.

Tara: This is not quite what he had in mind when he asked her to ride him...

Prefectdt: Being fans of the brand new TV series, Raw Hide, had a profound effect on both Mr and Mrs Jones.

A. Lurker: When Floyd woke up that morning and said he felt a little horse, this was not what he had in mind.

The family thought that grandma and grandpa had quit horsing around years ago.

This is what happened when Floyd asked Mildred if she wanted to horse around.

The old grey mare ain't what it used to be!


Thank you to everyone who commented. Next time, something completely different. Have a great week!

Complete the Caption

Looking through the old family album is always an enlightening experience. You never know what your ancestors might have been into.

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will publish your speculations in the next post.

Go ahead, don't be shy. We're all friends here.

Friday FAIL

Childhood should be a time of innocence, exploration and discovery.  But it doesn't always work out that way.

 

Not what you were expecting

Writing Spanking Fiction

Each week I visit the blogs of successful and prolific writers of spanking fiction. Recently I have also seen a few bloggers who are planning on entering the world of professional writing. My hat's off to all of you. Fiction is not my strong point, and I admire those who can come up with good plot lines for interesting stories that include spanking.

Rollin Hand, a veteran author of excellent spanking fiction, has prepared a series of posts describing the various techniques of writing a good spanking story. I learned a lot from them, and feel a little bit more comfortable about trying my hand at fiction in the not too distant future. I hope you will drop by his blog and read his series on writing.

Writing the Spanking Scene - Part 1

Book Review - Betrothed by Renee Rose (It's Part 2)

Writing the Spanking Scene - Part 3

Writing the Spanking Scene - Part 4

Rollin plans to add more to the series.

Wednesday WIN

Today I thought I would share some of my favourite cartoons with you. Some are kinky while others are vanilla but funny.

All together now: "Always look on the bright side of life"

Asshat bear

Awww, Mom!

How embarrassing

I hope these made your hump day a little brighter.

Spank the President

 I don't follow American politics, but an article in The Huffington Post caught my interest. In a recent interview, Congresswoman (or is that Congressperson?) Michele Bachmann objected to President Obama's decision to grant amnesty to thousands of undocumented immigrants. She declared that the only way Congress could stop him was by spanking him.

"He has a perpetual magic wand and nobody's given him a spanking yet and taken it out of his hand. That's what Congress needs to do". I'd like to see them try it.

Watch the short but significant portion of the interview here.

From the Top Shelf - Ellen and Roderick

This selection from Ellen's Story continues two days after Ellen's birching. You may remember from a previous excerpt the grinning boy watching Ellen's first punishment at school. That boy is all grown up now, and has returned home.

By the following morning, though the birch weals were still humiliatingly emblazoned across my bottom, the soreness itself had thankfully eased, and I felt well enough to walk into town. I was just coming out of the drapers shop, where I had been buying a new white petticoat to replace the one that had been ruined, when I suddenly found myself face to face with Roderick Smallwood, the Doctor's son. We had not met for years - since, in fact, he had left Bishops Stanton to go to boarding school. He was much taller now, agreeably sun-tanned, and even more good-looking than when I had seen him last.

"Why, Ellen Roberts!" he declared with delight. "I'd recognise that sweet smile and pretty face of yours anywhere!"

I blushed hotly and didn't quite know what to say, for he looked such a magnificent gentleman with his mane of long fair hair and a full, thick beard. Awkwardly I held out my hand but, instead of shaking it, he stooped, took it gently in his hand and kissed it lingeringly. "By Jove, Ellen, you always were by far the prettiest girl in my father's school, and now you've grown into a real beauty! Tell me," he added with a wicked chuckle,"does my father still take his cane to your shapely bottom when you're a naughty girl?"

I blushed more furiously than ever. Fancy a young man saying a thing like that to me! Had he no sense of propriety? But then Roderick had always been such a terrible tease, it was one of the things I liked about him.

Ellen and Roderick arrange to met the following Saturday. After a pleasant outing they find themselves alone in his house, and one thing leads to another. She does her best to hold him at bay, and he is not best pleased.

I could feel Roderick growing more and more excited with every second. "Ellen," he growled huskily, "you are a very wicked girl to drive me out of my senses like this, and I've a good mind to make this naughty little bottom of yours pay the penalty it so richly deserves!" and he drew back his hand and delivered a resounding slap right across the prominence of both my buttocks.

Straight away I winced and cried out in pain. Although my birching had taken place several days before, my poor bottom was still quite sensitively tender, and Roderick's playful slap had taken me completely by surprise.

"Ellen whatever is the matter?" Roderick demanded in a voice full of tender concern. "I didn't mean at all to hurt you - it was only a lover's pat!"

Ellen tells him about her recent ordeal with the treecutters. He is full of sympathy, but he is also aroused.

"And does your bottom still hurt?" he enquired with a perceptible tremor in his voice.

"Oh, er, only when I sit down, or if someone should slap it like you did...not that anyone else has done so," I assured him hastily, the blush on my cheeks fiercer than ever.

Roderick gently caresses her bottom on the pretext of discovering how sore it was, then decides he needs to conduct a more thorough examination.

"I-I don't understand what you mean, " I stammered blankly.

"I mean I want you to take down your drawers, Ellen, so that I may inspect your naked bottom.....properly!"

"Roderick!" I squealed, my face burning with embarrassment.

"My dear girl, it may need some medical attention...heaven knows what damage that brutal flogging may have done to it!" he concluded, authoritatively and with aplomb - as though the baring of my bottom in his presence were a perfectly normal and everyday occurrence!

"Oh no - Roderick, please!" I wailed in alarm, but already he was doing the job for me, untying the drawstrings at my waist with nimble skill, so that my dainty white cambric drawers fell rustling to my ankles. Next he seated himself on a velvet padded chair near the bed and drew me firmly across his knee as though I were his naughty girl whom he was going to discipline.

Completely taken aback by his briskly confident handling of my half naked body I managed to splutter out: "Oh wh-what are you doing to me?"

"Please don't be alarmed, Ellen," came his calm self-assured voice from somewhere above me. "I have put you into this seemingly disciplinary posture solely in order to make your bottom accessible for examination - nothing more." I was too dumbstruck - and far too embarrassed - to make any reply whatsoever.

I lay helplessly upended over his lap, the blood rushing to my temples and my long chestnut hair trailing in my eyes. My nose was inches away from the Persian carpet and I had to brace my body with my hands lest I toppled to the floor.

"Why, my poor Ellen," Roderick murmured hoarsely, almost choking on the passion which the sight of my naked bottom was arousing within him, "you suffered a very cruel birching indeed!" He traced with his trembling fingers the dull mottled pattern of fading birch weals. "Thank God your adorable bottom has sustained no permanent harm," he added with a sigh of relief, "and in a week or so it will be quite restored to its former unblemished glory!"

His hot hands, shaking with barely suppressed excitement, roamed hither and thither over the smooth round cheeks of my bottom - wreaking havoc with my dignity and self composure. The humiliation of being thus revealingly draped over my lover's knee made me feel almost sick with a wild intoxicated trepidation.

"Please, Roderick, let me get up, this is so shamefully indecent!" I panted blushingly, thinking it only proper that I should make at least a show of protest. But it could not have sounded very convincing because, if anything, he became even bolder and began slapping me lightly, first on one buttock and then the other, saying; "Is this painful, Ellen? Be honest with me, for I need to know so I may diagnose the severity of the bruising." I told him the truth, or rather part of it, that the gentle teasing taps of his palms against my bottom were not causing me any pain - although of course I omitted to mention how unbearably aroused the slapping was making me become.

He started to smack me harder - almost spank me: "....to improve the circulation of the blood around the bruised regions of the flesh.." or so he told me. This caused me to moan and wriggle involuntarily - and as I wriggled I again felt his great stiff weapon pressing up urgently against my belly.

He kept reassuring me and telling me excitedly what a pretty bottom I possessed, how much he loved it, how he would never knowingly injure it or do it harm - and how healthily beneficial it was for a lovely young girl like me to have her bottom thus spanked until it was pinkly glowing all over.

"Stop...oh my goodness, Roderick...oh please stop!" I wailed, acutely conscious of how wet I was becoming - and terribly anxious that he should not discover my shameful lubricity...yet at the same time secretly hoping that he would.

And he did. After his strong muscular palm ceased to fall upon my hot, throbbing bottom he turned his attentions to a lower, even more shamefully intimate area of my person...which he stroked and tickled so thoroughly that I sobbed with guilty delight and commenced to rub and grind my tormented pubis up and down on his greedy ravishing fingers... I felt as if I was going to faint, and from somewhere within the depths of my consciousness I heard myself screaming. I was aware of his other hand covering my mouth to stifle the screams - and I bit his finger in wild abandonment.

He called me a wilful mischievous girl for doing such a thing, and said I deserved to be punished for it. He...started spanking me again - this time hard enough to really hurt and sting like mad.

The spanking brought me to my senses almost immediately. In my mouth I could taste the blood from his finger which I had bitten so hard and, racked with guilt at having done such a dreadful thing, I begged him frantically to spank me with all the might of his arm so that I might atone for my sins.

The hard punishing spanks landed explosively upon my poor aching bottom and echoed around the spacious bedroom. Fortunately we were alone in the house - but the window was open and I was terrified that the spanking could be heard from the road.

Roderick chastised me so lustily that soon my bottom began to feel that it was on fire. Yet there was no cruelty at all in his behaviour. He was belabouring my madly cavorting bottom in pure sensual delight - knowing full well from my cries of encouragement that I was revelling in it as much as he was.

Then, when at last I cried shrilly that my crimson burning bottom could take no more of his gloriously dominant discipline, he picked me up bodily, carried me over to the bed, deposited me there on my back, and commenced feverishly to remove his clothes.

You can guess what happens next.

You Completed the Caption

That was an exciting round! Here are your captions:


GaryNTboy: 'ROCKY, are you listening to me?'
'Sorry boss, ass me the ......I mean...ask me the question again.'

Michael: The new sport of Spank-Boxing caught on quick once the boxing gloves were removed. Here we have boxer Juan Azotaina receiving last minute instructions from his trainer Antonio Paleta about the best strategy for spanking Rosita Culo.

Six of the best: The male contender says to the referee in the ring, "See my finger, see my thumb. See my female opponent's spankable bum".

Kingspan: He remembered the exact moment he decided he'd rather be a lover than a fighter.

Bonnie: Llllllllllllet's get ready to tumble!

Arched one: If you can catch me you can spank me. If you don't catch me I get to spank you.

Ronnie: Thelma knew the only way for her team to win was to distract the opposition.

Red: Just wishing you had the photo taken from the fighter's point of view...

Tara: Referee: "Now, keep it clean. No thigh shots, no implements. Bare hand and sit spot or above. GO!!

Welcome, Tara!

Prefectdt: Bill the boxer loved it when his wife turned up at his workplace and so did everyone else.

Hermione: Corner time would never be the same.


Thank you to all participants. Give yourselves a round of applause!

Complete the Caption

In the ring we have...er, an interesting situation. Boxing, wrestling, or something else? Is it a championship bout, or just a sparring match? It's up to you.

Complete the caption by leaving a comment and I will assess your scores and declare the victor in the next post.

There are no losers in Complete the Caption; you're all winners. If you haven't played before, please join in today.

Friday FAIL

My good friend Red sent me some photos from a recent shopping trip, and I just had to share them with you.

 A little overexposed, aren't they?

 The Kardashians out looking for bargains.

 M&Ms anyone?

 Wow. Just wow.

Quite the fashion statement.

And here's her twin sister. The thong is no improvement.

Where to enjoy a meal and a spanking

The popular online restaurant review site Yelp has released a new app that creates a "heat map" of eateries in your city based on certain key words.

While you can use it to find restaurants that serve your favourite food by choosing "bacon" or "dim sum", there are other options as well. You can use it to find areas with specific social scenes that you might like to enjoy. The maps above were done by choosing "hipster". Try it for yourself here for one of 14 cities around the world.

They don't have "spanking" as one of the choices, but I hope it's only a matter of time.

Wednesday WIN

A little collage that celebrates some of my favourite things.

The Beatles, young and older

Mr. Bean

LOLcats

Harry Potter

The book that shall not be named.

Hermione should be spanked for that last one, but I'll volunteer to take her place over Dumbledore's lap.


Happy hump day, everyone!

Read your blog backup

Because of the recent threat from Google to remove adult blogs that receive money from advertising adult site,  many of us who use Blogger  have been backing up our blogs in the event that we have to move our blogs elsewhere.

If you haven't done that yet, here's how.  Settings, Other, Export Blog then choose a place on your computer to save the file. This will create a backup file of your blog in .XML format, ready for importing into another Blogger blog, or into a blog on a different platform. Go on, do it right now. I'll wait...

Unfortunately, the backup is unreadable by humans; it is meant for machines only. Or is it?

If you have the browser called Opera installed on your computer, you can actually read your backup file and see your blog posts, pictures and comments, even if it has (shudder!) been deleted.

If you don't have Opera, go to http://www.opera.com/ and choose your operating system (Windows, Mac or Linux).

Click Download. Follow the instructions on your screen, and you're done! Open Opera by double-clicking on the icon on your desktop or by clicking on it in the Start menu.

Now go find the backup file that you created and saved on your computer. You remember where you saved your backup file, right? It looks like this: blog-01-01-2013.xml but the date would be different for you.

Right-click on the file and select "Open with..." Choose Opera, and voila! You will see the inner contents of your mysterious backup file. The template comes first, and all the details about it. Skip past that.

Then you will see comments that go with the post that you will see if you keep scrolling down. A little upside-down, but at least you will be able to read your precious blog.