You Completed the Caption

These clever captions end the week off nicely.

Roz: Mmm, there's nothing like milk and cookies after a maintenance spanking.

Nina: Oh James, I feel so much better informed, now that google tells us what sexually explicit smut is. But don't you think I can at least take my skirt off for the spanking?

ara: She giggles: 'Isn't it a shame we can not show the rest of the series, where I was milking you and you were eating .. coughs… cookies."

K in New England: Dear, please have some cookies before you put me over your knee and punish me for burning dinner.

Leigh: "Now my head is resting on his knee, I hope that soon some other part of me will be taking it's place resting on his knee."

Liza: Ron could hardly contain himself as he looked longingly at Hermione's bare arm.

Welcome Liza!

Sir Wendel: “GOOGLE APPROVED!!”

If it wasn’t socially immoral I’d love to put her over my knee and spank the dickens out of her.

A. Lurker: We kept 3 feet on the floor
And didn't close the door
But we did show some skin
So Google weighed in
And now this blog is no more!

Ronnie: Jenny wasn't sure if it was the cookies and milk or the spanking she just had that was making her smile.

Dr. Ken: "(sigh) An evening in with my guy, sharing some milk and listening to the latest records. Could it get any better than this? Well, maybe if he pulled me over his knee, raised my skirt, and spanked my bare bottom...."

Baxter: Oh dear I so love your knee, especially when you drag me across it, lift my skirt and pull down my panties and spank my bottom. Please do it after milk and cookies.

Vfrat25000: I want to have six babies!
I want to get the h*ll out here! I hope she left the front door unlocked!

Mabel, I want to design and build a computer.
Jimmy, what’s a computer?
A much faster way to look at PORN!
Oh, OK!

Hillary, I want to be President when I get older!
Oh Bill I think that’s wonderful. Can I be a President too?

I think her “Meatloaf Surprise” is starting to back up. It’s never bothered me before!
I hope that “Meatloaf Surprise” with Ex Lax Sauce kicks in pretty soon. That will teach him to stand in the school hallway talking to that hussy Betty Lou!

Him: I am going nail her tonight like a new sheet of wallboard!
Her: I can’t wait. I think I get my first kiss tonight!

Him: I wonder if she will let me kiss her goodnight.
Her: I wonder how many zaps with my taser he will take while tied naked to the bed posts and covered with olive oil.

Hermione: Hey Sally, did you know I'm a Queen's* Scout? Let's go to my room, and I'll show you the knots I learned for my Boy Scout merit badge.
 
*For Americans, that's the equivalent of an Eagle Scout.

For more good, clean fun, stay tuned for brunch, being served soon.

Google has reversed decision on porn

Google has changed its mind regarding porn and sexually explicit images on blogs.

Read it here: https://productforums.google.com/forum/?hl=en&pli=1#!category-topic/blogger/jAep2mLabQY

I think this was due to the large number of queries on the Blogger Help Forum regarding specifics, like artistic drawings, erotic stories, and of course, bare bottom spanking. The Google rule-setters realized that they had been far too vague in their statement. It is entirely possible that they may come out with something more specific at a later date, but for now, we're safe!

Spread the word!

Friday FAIL

Today we have a random ASSortment of FAILs. Enjoy!

A man after my own heart!

Then what?

Those would provide decent protection during a spanking

In what way, exactly?

A butt mannequin. What will they think of next?

Quick! Complete the Caption before it's too late!

Complete the Caption

This couple is fully clothed, observing the "three feet on the floor" rule, and enjoying a quiet evening in. But wait! Is that an exposed ankle I see? Google censors will surely shut my blog down for displaying such an offensive photo.

Until they do, I invite you to complete the caption by leaving a comment. I will publish your captions in an upcoming post if I am still around.

Big Brother is Watching

You may have noticed that this blog now contains the adult interstitial that warns you about the contents of this blog. That's a precaution I decided to take after Google's latest announcement that they will no longer allow sexually explicit or nude photos on Blogger blogs. I don't think I have any of those, except for a few bare bottoms here and there, but no sense taking chances.

If you are concerned about the safety of your Blogger blog, then go to Picasa, the place where all your Blogger photos are stored: https://picasaweb.google.com/home?redirect=0

If you see any photos with full frontal nudity or depicting sexual activity, delete them or move them to a private album.

The announcement above only talks about pictures. I don't know whether sexually explicit text would also be targeted. I also don't know whether having blogs on your blogroll that have explicit photos would cause your blog to be penalized. If or when I find out,  I will let you know. To be safe, I may decide to remove some of the more graphic blogs from my blogroll. I hope those blog owners will not take offense at this. It's nothing personal.

So what's the penalty for having a sexually explicit blog? Starting March 23, Blogger will make your blog private, available only to you, your other admins and authors, and invited readers (up to 100). They will not delete your blog. When you remove all offending material, you can ask for a review.

That's all I know for now. I hope this will not decimate our blogging community.

From the Top Shelf - Dana and the Drifter

Today's story is the prologue from Abigail Armani's latest book, Dana and the Drifter. The book describes the relationship between a feisty, talented artist and a strong-willed, handsome cowboy. If you like cowboys - with or without their shirts - and spanking romance, then this is for you.

"Take off your clothes."

Dana blinked. "What - all of them?"

"Every stitch."

"Oh. But..." She cast him a pleading look which was answered by an impassive stare from midnight-blue eyes and a slight quirky raise to his eyebrow as he waited for her to obey. She pouted and fluttered her eyelashes - it was worth a go - it sometimes worked. Alas, not today.

"Now, Dana." He strode across the room and sat on the edge of the bed, watching her as she resigned herself to the inevitable and slowly began unbuttoning her shirt.

"I said I'm sorry," she ventured, as her bra and jeans joined the discarded shirt on the floor.

"Not good enough. I warned you not to ride Black Jack, yet you disobeyed me - again."

Dana gulped. It was true. Black Jack fascinated her - he was a beautiful, vibrant horse, all muscle and solid bone, with a sleek black coat, a fiery glint in his eyes, and a temperament to match; he responded only to Ethan, a fact proved all too clearly as he whinnied his outrage and reared only moments after Dana struggled to mount him, sending her tumbling from the saddle to land ignominiously in the dirt. Stunned and winded, she had lain there as Black Jack towered above her, thrashing the ground with his powerful hooves. If Ethan hadn't come rushing over to scoop her up out of harm's way... She pushed the thought aside, tacitly acknowledging that she deserved this spanking.

"Sorry," she repeated, biting her lip apprehensively.

Ethan looked pointedly at the pile of clothes on the floor. Following his gaze, Dana quickly picked them up, folded them, and set them on a chair, where she lingered wearing only the briefest pair of panties. With a sigh, she slid them down her creamy thighs and placed them on the chair. She stood before him, keenly aware of her nudity, and the fact that her rose-tipped nipples had hardened in greeting. She hated it when she had to strip for a spanking - it was much more fun when he undressed her. But fun wasn't exactly on the agenda right now. She had been disobedient and foolish, and now it was time to pay the price... on her naughty bottom.

"Come here, Dana." Ethan's left hand shot out and patted the bed. Such a large hand. Hard, like the cast iron skillet she used for cooking pancakes.

Her feet carried her reluctantly forward as her eyes remained fixed on his hand. Then that same hand raised to cup her chin and tilt her head up. His eyes met hers.

"Why am I going to spank you, Dana?"

"I messed up," she admitted. When no immediate response was forthcoming, she elaborated. "I was disobedient, and I put myself in danger. And I'm sorry ... real sorry."

"I know," he said, in a tone that was soft yet firm. "You know the score. Over you go."

A moment later she was in the all-too familiar position over his powerful thighs, staring at the rug. She felt his hand rest for a brief moment on her bared bottom and held her breath, waiting. There came a feather-light caress across her trembling globes, followed by a loud Crack! as the ringing slap echoed around the bedroom. Stoically, she refrained from yelping, instead she screwed her eyes tight shut and prepared to endure as once again Ethan's palm swept down with a resounding smack.

Ethan eyed Dana's rounded bottom wolfishly. He never tired of looking at her curves. Her buttocks quivered and jiggled with every spank before bouncing back for more, the twin hemispheres forming an irresistible target for his punishing hand. Already the creamy flesh had taken on a pink hue. Spanking more forcefully now, he settled into a steady rhythm, administering a sequence of fast-paced spanks.

Dana began to squirm and wriggle, emitting a series of muted yips and yelps, and then as the spanks descended harder and faster she abandoned her stoic intent and hollered loudly. The sting in her sensitive rear end was building as Ethan brought his hand down hard, spanking first one cheek, then the other, then a series of upward spanks catching the underside of both jiggling cheeks.

"Ow! OWWW!" she squealed, her legs kicking in protest. "It hurts! It hurts!"

"It's supposed to." Another slap descended on her sit spot, and then he deliberately spanked that same spot over and over, eliciting a long wail from Dana. "This is for your disobedience." Down came his hand again, sending her cheeks jiggling. "I was worried about you, woman." A sequence of hand prints now adorned her cheeks. "You could have been badly injured." Pink turned to red as he spanked on, driving the lesson home. "Dammit, Dana - you could have been killed!"

Dana squealed loudly, unshed tears pricking her eyelids and threatening to spill over.

"I-I know... Owww!" she spluttered. Though she tried to wriggle frantically, Ethan had her in a secure hold, locking her legs together with his own, rendering her immobile. All she could do was pound her fists into the rug and wail out her torment as her bottom deepened to a rich shade of red. Truly, it felt as though it was on fire and she felt as though she would never be able to sit for a week. "No more! No more!" she pleaded.

"I'll be the judge of that," said Ethan. He delivered more swats, covering the whole expanse of her peachy curves, but they were less forceful now, winding down after the fast hard volley. At length, he paused to stroke her burning mounds, his hand gentle now. "A spanked bottom never killed anyone, Dana. But you could have been killed under the hooves of that stallion."

There was such wistful tenderness in his voice that Dana's tears spilled down her cheeks and she emitted a choking sob. Gently, Ethan raised her up and kissed away her tears.

"I'm sorry I had to do that, honey. But you need to learn that I mean what I say, and that I always, always have your best interests at heart."

"I know that," sniffled Dana. "And I'm very sorry. Do you forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you." He reached to smooth the hair away from her eyes. "You're my whole life. I love you. But that doesn't excuse you from standing in the corner," he added, masking a grin.

"Oh darn it, not the corner." She pouted and half-smiled simultaneously. He knew she hated the humiliation of standing in the corner.

"Only for ten minutes. Off you go, wife. I'll just sit here and admire the view."

So Dana moved to the dreaded corner and stood facing the wall, her red bottom throbbing.

Pausing briefly, she turned and whispered, "I deserved that. I love you, Ethan."

He smiled endearingly. "I know."

And as the minutes ticked slowly by, he thought back to a time just over a year ago when his life had been so different. He'd been happy enough, but there'd been something - or someone - missing. That someone was Dana. He smiled, remembering...

Doesn't that make you want to read more?  Dana and the Drifter is available here.

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for February 22

This week we discussed the best time of day for a spanking.

abby: I am rarely asked if I am 'in the mood', and Master feels anytime is a good time for a spanking. My least favorite - early morning wake up spankings. I am not a morning person, and my first reaction is not usually all that welcoming.

Jan: Any time for me, what can I say I am just greedy!

Downunder Don: Mid-morning. A bit of a compromise as I am a very early riser and she likes to sleep late. So mid to late morning we are both awake and alive.

Nina: almost any time is good for me, but I don't like it very early, right after waking up. Due to hubby being at work we have spankings most often in the evening, when there is more time for it. Sometimes it happens when he takes his midday break, but otherwise, any time is nice.

Baxter: On the weekends, we go to our special spanking and sex room in the afternoon. During the week if there is a spanking, it is around 6 pm.

DtBHC: I prefer early evenings and hate early mornings. Just struggle to get settled.

Meredith: I agree with sweet Jan; anytime is fine with me.

Leigh: Anytime is fine with me.

Minelle: Anytime is fine with me, but preferably when we have more privacy!

Dana K: I don't get a say in when it happens. I prefer bedtime spankings. It seems strange, but they usually relax me and I can go right to sleep for a change (I'm an insomniac). Steve would probably say first thing in the morning because I'm softer and haven't been awake long enough to put up barriers. Although when we did our boot camp, I actually found myself liking the morning ones because we started the day connected.

Dr. Ken: Because of my current schedule and other demands on my time, I'm pretty much limited to Saturdays in the afternoon or evening. I wish I could say, "any time is a good time"--and I certainly agree with that as a general statement--but in reality, it's not feasible.

arched one: I get up much earlier than my wife and when she gets up I have her coffee ready and she likes to sit at the computer and wake up. I don't really have a say when one will occur but ours are usually mid-morning.

 Roz: My preference is evening, night time. Morning is my least favourite.

S: Not late evening, because my smarting bot stops me getting to sleep, allthough D likes cuddling up to my hot cheeks in bed. Late morning is better, and I get a thrill afterwards, when I meet someone who has no inkling about the smarting red bottom which lurks beneath my skirt!

Sir Wendel: Anytime is good with me. The misses doesn’t like to get spanked before going for girls night out. I like to give her a good paddling so that she’ll behave while out.

Ronnie: I love to be spanked so any time is good for me.

Six of the best: In my lifetime, I have sometimes spanked a woman's knickers down bare bottom, when we are both very much in the mood. This could be any hour of the day.

Hermione: Afternoons are our usual time for spanking. I wouldn't mind one in the morning, but not too early! Late night doesn't appeal to me; I'm too sleepy by then to enjoy it, but luckily, so is Ron.


Thank you all for your responses. Till next time, stay safe!
 

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #60

Welcome back everyone! I was too busy to do any cooking this morning so I'm afraid today's brunch is make your own :) Today's topic is an oldie but a goodie that I thought was worth revisiting.

What time of day do you prefer for spanking? Morning, afternoon, evening, night? Is there a time that you really don't care for? Do you have a choice in the matter?

Leave your reply as a comment and once everyone has had a chance to weigh in, I will publish a summary of our discussion.

You Completed the Caption

How did this motorist get himself into this situation? Here is how you explained it:

arched one: It's a long story officer but to make it short, my wife spanks me and told me to strip for a spanking and right now she's at the car getting an implement to spank me with.

Nina: Yes officer, the rear lamp is broken. That’s so naughty and I deserve a spanking for that, don’t you agree?

Ronnie: I woke up this morning and they'd gone, no, not my clothes. My girlfriend and my car.

Six of the best: The man in white shorts, is saying to the police officer, "I'm on my way to see "Fifty Shades of Grey", and my girl friend told me not to be late to the movie theatre."

Leigh: He ticked off his significant other and she locked him out.

Simon: Well this is a nudist camp officer, you should be grateful I got dressed to meet you.

Clara: I'd like to file a missing pants report, Sir.

Baxter: I am on my way to my weekly session with my disciplinarian and she instructed me to wear only these very sheer briefs. The thing is that my car broke down, I have no money for a cab, and so I am walking to the session.

DtBHC: I'm sorry officer, but you do realise that it is "Pants off Friday".

Vfrat25000: Officer, I am President of Calvin Klein…honest!

Can’t a guy and his neighbors have a nice game of Strip Bridge on his deck without the City getting upset?

It all started with my new girlfriend saying “Let’s play a game!” I’m beginning to think we might have compatibility issues.
Cop: “You think?”

Cop: “Sir, have you ever heard of the fable called “The Emperor’s New Clothes”? I suggest you find a copy and read it! Now go put on your pants before I take you and your imaginary new tuxedo down to the pokey!

ancilla_ksst: We're making an underwear commercial. The cameraman is behind that bush, really he is, go look.

Polly: Ok, so, it's not actually as bad as it looks officer. My wife was being sassy 'cause she wanted me to get outta bed, I went to sw...talk to her, she ran outta the house, I ran after her, and then she locked the door.

A. Lurker: "Could have been the whiskey, Might have been the gin..."

But officer, I swear they said the auditions for the Barenaked Ladies were over here!

Hermione: Aw gee, Officer, do you have to spank me? Can't you just give me a ticket?

ara: Officer, I am on my way to Time Square as I was locked out of my dressing room and I need to perform on Broadway. Please let me continue or I will be late for the show…
Please….
Please….
Or was it the Oscars?
Anyway
Please?????

Welcome, ara!

For more revealing insights, stay tuned for brunch, being served indoors where it's warm. Clothing is optional.

Friday FAIL

Since the movie that shall not be named was released last week, I thought I'd give the book and the movie a little more exposure here.

Middle Schools students of Westmoreland County, Pennsylvania were given a 50 Shades Word Search in their sex education class.

Their parents were not amused. The link to the original puzzle unfortunately no longer works, but you can read more and see the TV news item here.


On a lighter note, watch the Try Guys discover the world of BDSM.



It's actually quite well done. One of the Try Guys interviews a Domme, who explains exactly what BDSM is and isn't, while three other couples (MM, MF, and FF) experiment.


Now then, go and Complete the Caption.  No arguments or I will have to flog you. 

Complete the Caption

Police are always on the lookout for suspicious characters, and it looks as though they have found one. What do you think is the suspect's excuse for his lack of attire?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment and I will publish your requests for bail in an upcoming post.

Spam, spam, spam, eggs and spam

Thanks to the Blogger spam filters I haven't had more than a trickle of spam lately. But here are some oldies that I saved for you.

These comments are written as requests for technical help, hoping I will fall for the ruse.

I'm not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I'm thinking about creating my own but I'm not sure where to start. Do you have any tips or suggestions?

I'm curious to find out what blog platform you're using? I'm having some small security problems with my latest site and I'd like to find something more safe.

Do you have a spam issue on this site; I also am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation;

Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with Search Engine Optimization?

Nice blog here! Also your site loads up very fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?

Hey there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing months of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have any methods to protect against hackers?

What's up, I desire to subscribe for this website to obtain newest updates, so where can i do it please assist.

These spammers go a bit farther and try to convince me that there is something wrong with my blog. Perhaps you've received similar "warnings":

When I originally commented I clicked the "Notify me when new comments are added" checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Cheers!

Hey there just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the images aren't loading properly. I'm not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I've tried it in two different web browsers and both show the same outcome.

Hmm it appears like your blog ate my first comment.

Currently it appears like Movable Type is the preferred blogging platform available right now. (from what I've read) Is that what you're using on your blog?

I did however expertise several technical issues using this website, as I experienced to reload the website a lot of times previous to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK?

Hey, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.

Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thanks, However I am going through difficulties with your RSS. I don't know the reason why I am unable to join it. Is there anyone else having similar RSS issues?

Finally, here's a collection of spammy comments telling me how useful my blog is for their workplace. Unless they are employed in a dungeon, I doubt that my spanking posts will help them write their weekly reports.

It is often very terrific plus jam-packed with amusement for me personally and my office co-workers to visit your site nearly 3 times a week to learn the newest items you have got.

Thank you for every other great article. Where else may just anyone get that type of info in such an ideal way of writing? I've a presentation next week, and I'm on the look for such information.

What's Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It absolutely useful and it has aided me out loads. I am hoping to give a contribution & assist other customers like its helped me. Good job.

From the Top Shelf - Josh's Introduction to Heatherton Hall

Two weeks ago I shared with you the prologue of Rollin Hand's latest novelette, The Ladies of Heatherton Hall. Now let's fast forward two hundred years, more or less. Josh, a young and very poor American engineering student, has received a letter from a London solicitor. It seems that he is the last descendent of James Carlisle and therefore has inherited Heatherton Hall. In an instant Josh is transformed from a penniless student to the Earl of Carlisle, wealthy landowner and lord of the manor. He abandons his studies and moves to England.

Josh finds his new life at Heatherton Hall daunting, to say the least. Equally daunting are the two ladies in residence: the Dowager Countess Lydia Heatherton, mother of the late Cranston Heatherton (the recently-deceased previous Earl of Carlisle), and her granddaughter, Lady Gwyneth. The latter assists him in learning his new duties at Heatherton Hall, and introduces him to one of their quaint traditions.

Dinner was served each evening promptly at eight. It was a formal affair that Josh was getting somewhat used to. But each day brought new revelations with which he was trying to cope. It was after dinner a night or two later that the next surprise was revealed.

“I hate to inform you, madam,” said Griggs the butler, addressing Mrs. Heatherton, “but two maids are on report.” Both Gwyneth and Lady Heatherton looked nonplussed at this news.

“Oh, dear,” said Lydia Heatherton. “What shall we do?”

“Daddy always handled maids on report,” whispered Gwyneth.

“What do you mean, ‘on report’?” This sounded ominous.

“I’ll tell you later,” she said. “What happened, Griggs?”

“Jane and Millie were roughhousing in the gallery instead of doing their duties. A disagreement of some sort. They broke your late mother’s blue flowered vase, I’m sorry to say. A complete dereliction of duty and conduct most unbecoming,” said the butler solemnly. Then he produced the broken pieces of the blue vase.

“What shall we do?” said Mrs. Heatherton again. “Cranston always handled these things. No one has been on report since he died.”

“What the hell is ‘on report?’” whispered Josh.

Gwyneth put her napkin down. “I suppose I shall have to tend to it, Granny. We cannot expect our American cousin to just jump in—even though as the earl and lord of Heatherton Hall, it is his job.”

“Will someone tell me what is going on?” Josh felt like he was the only one in the room not in on the secret.

“Tell Mrs. Finch to prepare a rod... no, make that two. And tell the girls to report to the library in half an hour.”

“At once, Lady Gwyneth,” said Griggs, who then turned and left. “Come with me,” she said to Josh.

When they were all in the library she shut the door. “Our staff,” she said, “are like family. Generations have been in service here at Heatherton Hall. No one ever gets fired. But as in all families there are behavior lapses and discipline problems. This is apparently the end result of a long standing feud between Jane and Millie. They have been warned about this before. Now it has resulted in damage. Griggs was right to put them on report.”

“So what happens now?”

“What happens now is that they will both receive a flogging.”

Josh let this sink in. “A flogging? Are you kidding?” This was 2013, not 1913.

“I know our ways may seem odd to you, but it is part of the compact that has served all of us for generations. Perhaps you have heard that the birch is in use for certain offenses here on the island, so it is part of our culture. Only…”

“Only what?”

“Daddy did this. Always. Ever since I can remember. As the lord of Heatherton Hall, it was his duty. He was the ultimate authority.”

“And therefore the new earl should do it, newcomer or not,” said Lydia Heatherton.

“Granny!” said Gwyneth. “You can’t expect him to…”

“Why not?” shot back Lady Heatherton. “He’s the earl now. It’s his job, like it or not.”

Josh’s head was swimming. This was happening all too fast. “Now wait a minute. I can’t come in here and just start…what? Flogging maids?”

Then Gwyneth, seeing his obvious discomfort, smiled a wicked smile. “Oh, yes, you can. And you must. Tradition must be preserved,” she intoned.

“But how do you do this?” Josh was still in a state of disbelief.

“Easy,” said Gwyneth. “I was tennis champion in my class and a prefect at my boarding school in Scotland. I think I know what to do,” she said with confidence. “I’ll show you.”

 Then Mrs. Finch, who seemed to be some sort of head downstairs maid, arrived. She carried a pair of sheaves bound at one end with twine. Gwyneth picked up a rod and swished it about. It was made up of a bundle of thin switches about three feet long and very swishy. “The lady bends over the back of a chair. You take the rod and line it up on her derriere, like so.” Gwyneth took one of the rods and stood so that the end was centered on the chair back. “Then you pull back and using arm and elbow whip it down right on the crowns of her bottom. Don’t forget a little flick of the wrist at the end,” she said with a smile. “You’ve played tennis before, haven’t you?”

Josh nodded dumbly.

“Good,” she said. “Just like that. Give it your best forehand.” She handed the rod to Josh who took it and stared at it like an alien thing.

Griggs entered with the girls, both of whom were pale and nervous. They wore black uniforms with white trim, dresses that came to mid-calf. Jane was a tall slender brunette, Millie a petite but voluptuous redhead.

“You know why you are here,” said Griggs to the girls. “You should be ashamed of yourselves. Fighting in the gallery when you should have been about your work. Shameful.”

“What was this about, Jane?” asked Gwyneth.

“It’s about my boyfriend,” Jane began.

“Your boyfriend?” snorted Millie, interrupting. “He’s with me now. I’ll sort you out.”

Gwyneth held her hands up. “All right, all right. I get the gist of it. But you are going to have to sort out your disagreements without resorting to fisticuffs.” She looked pointedly at each. “I’m sorry but Griggs was right to put you on report. And you know what that means.”

“Oh no, Lady Gwyneth, please. We’ll not fight in future,” pleaded Jane.

“Yes, please,” said Millie, suddenly sober and eyeing the rods nervously.

Gwyneth shook her head. “No. This is not the first time. I’m afraid it’s six for each of you.” She inclined her head toward Josh. “Ladies, this is the new master of Heatherton Hall. You will accept your punishment from him.”

Both maids gasped when they beheld the young robust American flexing the birch rod in his hands. This prompted more pleas for forgiveness but Griggs and Gwyneth stood firm.

Finally when all supplications had been exhausted, Gwyneth said, “Over the backs of the chairs, both of you. Skirts well up.”

They were to be whipped on their bare bottoms. Truly amazing. Josh could hardly believe what he was watching. And I have to do this.

Jane and Millie approached the pair of chairs and raised their skirts. Josh felt a tightening in his groin. Both girls were attractive. Underneath the skirts both wore  black silk panties framed by a garter belt and stockings. Two very attractive bottoms came into view, Jane’s compact but perfectly heart shaped derriere, and Millie’s bottom, a pair of plump rounded orbs that jutted out prominently. When both had bent over, placing hands on the chair seats, Gwyneth said, “Mrs. Finch, if you please.”

Josh just about fell through the floor as Mrs. Finch strode over and peeled down two sets of panties to lay bare both quivering bottoms. Griggs leaned in and whispered, “The rod is always applied bare breech, sir. It is tradition.” Josh nodded as if he understood.

 In the meantime Josh fingered the rod in his hand. It was nearly three feet long, and the switches splayed out, fan style, at the business end. He stepped to Millie’s side and tapped her seat, lining it up.

“Six strokes, Millie and Jane. Mr. Fairchild shall alternate between you, one stroke at a time, until we are done. You will hold your position. Are you ready?”

A muffled "yes, Lady Gwyneth" issued from both miscreants.
Josh drew back. The rod paused at the top arc of his swing. It whined as the switches whipped through the air. The rod landed square on the crowns of Millie’s buttocks with a sharp thwick!

Millie hissed in pain. Faint red lines sprang up across her flesh.
Josh moved to stand beside Jane. Another whish…thwick! sang out as the rod swept across Jane’s bottom.

“Ow, sir!” she yelped.

Josh gritted his teeth. He felt that he was being played by a mischievous Gwyneth. He had seen that wicked gleam in her eye when Lady Heatherton had suggested that he wield the rod. But now there was no help for it. He’d play along for now, but there would be a reckoning.

Josh proceeded to apply the rod, moving from one girl to the other, carefully lining up before delivering the stroke with a smooth arm motion and a little flick of the wrist at the end. It certainly made an impression. The whick! of the rod was the dominant sound in the room. Both girls hissed and stamped their feet, trying to shift position to alleviate the sting. Bottoms clenched then jiggled lightly as the rod struck. The faint lines multiplied, merging into a reddish hue. Toward the end Jane and Millie became more vocal expressing their discomfort with a series of “ouches” and pleas for leniency as feet shuffled and bottoms quivered.

“There,” said Gwyneth after Josh had delivered the last stroke to Jane’s bottom. “You may rise.”

Both girls pulled their knickers up and rose, turning around to face Gwyneth. Their faces were red and their eyes were distinctly watery. Millie put a hand up to wipe away a tear. Jane sniffled.

“Now, we’ll have no more fighting, especially on duty. Is that understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said both maids.

“You will both apologize to Mr. Fairchild,” said Gwyneth.

“We’re sorry, sir,” said both maids practically in unison.

Josh nodded and gave the girls a sympathetic smile.

 “Mr. Fairchild is now the lord of Heatherton Hall and his arm is quite strong as you have just experienced, so behave yourselves. You are dismissed.”

I think Josh is going to make a fine Earl, don't you?

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for February 14

Readers, you have some spanking good Valentine's Day traditions.

Minelle: It is not only Valentines Day for me it is my birthday. This year hubby is away so no Birthday or Valentines Day spanking. I am hoping for when he returns!

Jan: No chance here as he is working all night. Going to make up for it with a few spanky days away next week for his birthday. Hope you have a lovely Valentines Day.

DtBHC: Spanking is a reward for me so it is not dependent on any particular day, but rather on my behaviour and her mood and who else is around.

Pearl: DtBHC, I haven't heard another who got spankings as rewards and not punishments! AWESOME!!

And, Hermione, I truly hope that our Valentine's Day ends with a rosy red bottom for yours truly. But, we shall see.

Katie: If I was home with Rob, or he was here with me, I am pretty sure that there would be spanking. Hopefully that very nice, long, sexy kind. the kind with his hand, over his lap, gradually increasing... Ummm... I better not think about this too hard til I am home! HAhaha! Many hugs and hope you had some nice Valentine's spanky fun.

Roz: We have never really made a big deal of Valentines Day, and spanking depends of the circumstances. What we are doing etc. Alas, no Valentines spanking this year.

arched one: A few days ago R promised I'd get three spankings on Valentines Day and I did. One in the morning fresh from the shower I got her hand and wooden spoon until I was rosy. about 100 I was bent over the sofa arm for the whip, belt, strop for 75 then display position then just before bed time I was laid on a pillow on the bed bottom arched up for her and got the belt, strop, paddle and wooden spoon again for 100. All wonderful erotic spanking followed by beautiful sex.

Nina: We always try to have bonding time on Valentine's Day and this usually includes spankings too. Due to circumstances I had maintenance early in the morning and then the day went smoothly and we actually had the fun spanking I love so much early in the evening (baby dictates when we can do ttwd), so spanking was more than usual present in our house this Valentine's Day.

D: I once found a Valentine card, which contained a saucy little pair of panties, with a suggestive heart on the front, and 'spank here' on the back ! S loved them; they were soon on her. "No time like now" she said, and dived across my lap for me to spank her nice bottom soundly until we were ready to finish off on the heart side. I think it must have been quite a spanking, as she was definitely fidgety on her chair, when I took her out for her Valentine's dinner.

Bogey: We brightened each others bottoms in the morning, had a divine lunch and strawberries in chocolate after dinner.

Baxter: My wife and I went to a Valentine's dinner dance fund raiser for a jazz radio station on Friday night. Not sure why, but on the way home, she informed me that she was going to take the wooden paddle to my bottom sometime over the weekend and apply it at least 25 times. Hasn't happened yet, but the day is young. Am looking forward to it.

Ronnie: A Valentine's Day spanking really depends on circumstances and what we are doing. Doesn't always happen but this year I did get one.
 
Hermione: We don't go out to dinner on Valentine's Day because the restaurants are so crowded on that day. We save that treat for the following week. But we started our celebration off with a heart-felt spanking. Later we enjoyed cheese fondue, and finished the evening in front of the fire, sipping wine and watching Better Call Saul.

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #59

Welcome everyone to another weekend brunch. Today is Valentine's Day, a day for lovers, and that includes lovers of spanking.

Do your Valentine's Day activities include spanking? If so, please share the details. If not, what would you consider a perfect way to commemorate the day?

Leave your reply as a comment, and I will publish a summary of our discussion on Monday.

You Completed the Caption

Let's see how you resolved this sharpshooter's predicament:

Katie: "Now hold it right there buddy!! If you think you are going to spank me after all of this, you've got another think coming! You told me to dress up for our date. You didn't tell me that we'd be playing laser tag on a movie set!!! You're going to have to win, in order to win!"

sub hub: "Why is a laser beam coming out of my gun?"

DtBHC: Every time you miss, that's six more spanks for you.

I can't hold them off forever, grab that paddle and let's get out of here.

Ronnie: Now I'm in trouble, I've picked up the water pistol instead of the gun.

Abigail: Oh no - I daren't move my leg - I'm not wearing any panties!

Baxter: If I get out of this alive, I am going to find my boyfriend and give him the bare bottom spanking of his life. He told me to just drive down this road and all will be well. He won't be able to sit for a long time.

ricky: Drat you, Red Ryder! I'm not your little beaver!
 
Sir Wendel: Doesn’t matter if I save the world, Bob is gonna whip my bottom when he sees what happened to the car.
 
Hermione: Everyone on the boardwalk watched Margaret get even after Nucky spanked her for pouring his bourbon down the drain during her brief Temperance phase.


For more action-packed adventure, stick around for a special Valentine's Day brunch, being served shortly.

Friday FAIL

 Yesterday morning after feeding and walkingthe dogs, I sat down at our computer and jiggled the mouse to wake it up. (We don't turn it off overnight; it just goes to sleep.) Imagine my surprise when, instead of the wallpaper background, I sat the "blue screen of death". There was some kind of scary warning that something was terribly amiss, and I should restart immediately. If the problem didn't go away, then I would need to call a technician.

I pressed enter and the machine then restarted itself, going through the usual boot cycle on a black screen. I saw a message, "no operating system found". Wait, what" I did too have an operating system - Windows 7. "Are you sure you looked everywhere?" I asked it.

The computer replied by restarting itself again automatically, and I held my breath, waiting. The result was the same. "No operating system". I was starting to get worried. What if Ron or I had unwittingly downloaded malicious code that ate Windows? I would have to take the machine in to be repaired, and everyone there would see my browser history. Why, oh why, had I not cleared my history? They would have such a laugh over all the spanking blogs in my history.

I ahd one last ace up my sleeve. I pressed the on/off button and held it down firmly until the machine switched off. I counted to thirty then pressed it again. the computer came to life, breezed through the black screen boot up processes, and then I heard the chime and saw the welcome words, "Windows is starting". Phew!

 I need tp have this inscribed on my Medic Alert bracelet.




Now on to the lighter side of computer usage.

 That's a relief!

 It sure is. Who can remember the password?

Good old spam comments. Don't you love them?



Don't forget to complete the caption in the next fifteen minutes, or you will have seven years of bad luck.

Complete the Caption

This young lady finds herself in a tight spot. How did she get herself into such a predicament, and how will she get herself out of it?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will publish your solutions in an upcoming post.

A Cheap Alternative

Many of us have used arnica at one time or another to reduce occasional bruising that accompanies enthusiastic spanking. But what if you don't happen to have any arnica? There's a simple remedy that everyone has on hand. It's toothpaste. The plain old white kind, without fluoride, whiteners or stripes. According to this article:

Before heading off to bed, apply a mixture of toothpaste and skin lotion to the bruise and wrap with an ace bandage or a band-aid to keep the sheets clean. Wash the paste off in the morning and reapply for two or three nights. Bruises that normally take a week or two to fade disappear much faster.

I'll have to try that next time I have a bruise, although the ace bandage might not be very comfortable.

From the Top Shelf - The Electrician's Tale

I recently had the pleasure of exchanging emails with GeorgieC, whose stories I have published in the past. Besides encouraging me to post whatever stories of his I might have, this delightful writer also gave me a few more that I hadn't seen before.

"The Electrician's Tale" is an amusing story of school life and punishment. For those of us not located in the U.K., 'tannoy' is a word used for any public address system, derived from Tannoy, a prominent Scottish manufacturer of speakers and sound systems.

As an electrician you can sometimes get yourself in some sticky situations. I've had a few close calls, usually involving 240 volts finding an easier way to earth than the one planned. But my stickiest moment came a few years ago when I had a simple wiring job to do.

It seemed easy enough. St Ethelred's School for Girls needed a new tannoy system installing. Myself, and Bob and Tony, had worked fairly hard all week, getting the cabling in place, siting speakers all around the school, connecting everything up.

I say that we worked "fairly" hard, because the job was slowed down a bit by Bob and Tony's lack of concentration at times. It was those little minxes in the school of course. They used to wait till one or other of us was scrabbling round the floor, trying to thread some cable under the floorboards, and well, they'd walk past...slowly.

The thing was, you see, that their skirts were rather on the shortish side. And if you were lying on the floor you could see up them. Right up them....  And the girls knew this. And did it on purpose. There were even a few who would walk past you, and having caught your eye, they'd pretend they'd dropped something on the floor, and bend over right in front of you. Their skirts would go right up, and there would be a pair of white panties. As clear as day.

Well, this slowed Bob and Tony down no end. It was terrible.... Tony reckons there was even one of the teachers who dropped some books near him at an opportune moment, but he does tend to exaggerate. Personally, I'm sure a teacher in a school like that would always wear underwear! She was probably wearing a thong. Miss Dawson, the History teacher, was wearing pale blue panties one day I noticed accidentally. But they were ordinary briefs under her tights. Not that I was looking, you understand.

Anyway, I digress. The final day arrived, and we were ready to connect up the system to go live. I was in the Headmistress's office (a real dragon called Miss Tewkesbury) putting the final wires together at the master console on her desk, and Bob and Tony were ensuring everything was OK at the speakers' ends.

We'd had a bit of trouble actually getting any sounds out of the speakers which we thought might be a bit of a problem, especially when you're supposed to be installing a tannoy system. I was checking the wiring to the console. The thing was this meant I had to scrabble around under the Headmistress's desk, and I was just about sure that it was ready to test again when Miss Tewkesbury came into her office.

Now, the thing was that she couldn't see me from where I was, although I could see her through a gap in the modesty panel, I think they're called, on her desk. I was just about to reappear, or cough, or somehow make my presence known in a way that wouldn't startle her when, for some reason, I stopped. One of the girls came in behind her, and shut the door. Miss Tewkesbury did not seem to be in a good mood.

"I am sick to death of this sort of behaviour, Harrison," she snapped.

The girl shuffled her feet, and looked rather downcast. I could see she was one of the Sixth Form, because they all had blue ties, whereas the rest of the school had a rather revolting shade of maroon.

She was a pretty thing, blonde hair, ponytail, crisp white blouse, and the short blue skirt that was de rigueur - and the cause of Tony and Bob's distraction.

"Yes, Miss," the girl said, rather pointlessly.

"I am not going to tolerate this any longer. I am going to teach you a lesson you won't forget. Bring that chair to the middle of the room!" She pointed to a chair on the far side of the room, and the girl walked miserably across the room, picked up the chair, and brought it to the centre of the room, about four feet away from where I was still concealed beneath the desk. I wondered whether I should now make my presence known, but in view of the Headmistress's foul mood I felt that discretion was the better part of valour and decided to stay put. Not that I wanted to see what was going to happen, of course, but just to avoid any mutual embarrassment.

The Headmistress walked over to the cupboard on the far side of the study, and opening it, took out something I recall greatly from my days at school so many years ago. The cane!

I though now that I'd better just stay put. I didn't want the poor girl to know that I knew she was going to get the cane. How embarrassing that would be for her! So I just stayed quietly in my place, watching.

"Right, girl, get your skirt up!"

The girl, who was stood with her back to me, facing the back of the chair, slowly lifted the hem of her skirt higher and higher, until the skirt was bunched up around her waist. There, just a few feet in front of me, were a pair of bright white pants inadequately covering two very round bottom cheeks. I never knew for sure that girls had to do that for the cane. I know that in my school they had had to bend over the desk for the Headmaster to cane them, and it was rumoured that he made them show their knicks, but it was never confirmed.... I could well understand why he had made all the girls get their skirts up. Especially Maureen Lewis, who always seemed to be getting sent to his study for a caning, even when she hadn't seemed to have done anything wrong. After all these years I was suddenly envious of him.

"You've been here before. You know what to do. Take your knickers down!"

I watched, suddenly agog, as the Sixth-former slipped her fingers into the waistband of her knickers, and slowly peeled them down to just above her knees. My line of sight was pretty well filled with two rounded globes, quivering slightly I think - or maybe that was just me!

"Bend over the chair and brace yourself. I'm going to give you six of the very best. Your behaviour today fully deserves everything that's coming to you. Bend over, I said!!"

She bent forward, reaching over for the far side of the chair. I was cramped under the desk, but I dare not move. This was very difficult though, because as she bent over I saw sights that caused at least one part of me to move, and move significantly at that.

The cane was laid across both cheeks, and as I held my breath it rose into the air and came down with a Whoosh! to land with a resounding Crack!

"Ow, Miss. One, Miss"

The cane again rose into the air and once more fell in a sweeping arc, hitting its target just fractionally below the previous impact.

"Yeeow! Two, Miss"

Two neat red lines started to develop across the pale cheeks. The girl's legs started to move noticeably, displaying even more than before. I could hardly breathe.

Swish! Crack!

"Ouch!! Three, Miss!"

The Headmistress spoke again. "I trust you will learn your lesson from this. I doesn't give me any pleasure to have to cane a girl with her knickers down. But your behaviour is totally disgraceful. If you repeat this then next time you will be taking your pants down in front of the whole school!!"

My mind started racing with the possibilities, wondering what old Mr Thompson, one of the teachers in the school, who appeared to be about ninety, would make of it. The thought suddenly occurred to me that maybe a public caning of a pupil's bare bottom wouldn't be a new sight to him anyway. But before I got too far down that route the fourth stroke of the cane landed.

"Yeeeoww!!! Four, Miss".

Each stroke was just slightly below the previous one, neatly parallel. Obviously the Headmistress was an expert in the use of the cane.

Swish! Whack!!

"Yeeow, owww, owww!" The girl was now in obvious distress. "Five, Miss, oh please Miss, pleeease no more!"

"One more, Harrison. This I trust will make you think in future about your behaviour".

She laid the cane purposefully across the rounded buttocks, now glowing red, and slowly raised it high into the air. Suddenly the door burst open, and there framed in the doorway was the Senior Mistress, and peering in over her shoulder were Bob and Tony. Their mouths opened wide at the sight in front of them. I was so surprised to see them that I gave a start, and loudly bumped my head on the desk.

"What? What, what the..." The Headmistress was lost for words.

* * *

We drove back, silent for most of the journey.

"Well, at least the tannoy works!" said Bob.

I was puzzled. "How do you know? We got hurled out of there pretty sharpish," I said.

"Very simple," Tony said. "That's why we came rushing along. Everyone in the school could hear what was going on. You'd managed to connect up the tannoy OK - it's just that you left the channel open. Everyone in the school heard everything! The Senior Mistress was in a right state, and all the girls were giggling at someone else getting whacked on the bare bum over the speakers. What a pity I didn't have my tape recorder."

He started to chuckle, and within minutes we were all laughing our heads off. Not quite a normal day for an electrician.

So Harrison only got five of the best that day. I hope she learned her lesson.